This Crazy Thing Called Life
by hxchick
Summary: Dave and Erin try to bring their families closer together, but what will they do when something happens that threatens everything? Part of the 'Family Ties' Universe. Multi-Chapter, OC.
1. Chapter 1

First Christmas-Chapter 1

**~This is set in the 'Family Ties' Universe and it takes place 4 months after the end of that story. It's not essential you read Family Ties first, but this story will make much more sense to you if you do.**

**~Thank you to everyone who voted for me in the Profiler's Choice Awards! Family Ties won best drama!**

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><p>David Rossi was immersed in paperwork when he was interrupted by a knock on his open office door. He looked up and was not entirely surprised when he saw his one-time lover and current boss standing in the doorway; after all, their daughter had been at headquarters for over an hour and she'd yet to come and see her. Because of that, Dave knew she must have been stuck in a meeting.<p>

"I heard she was here," Erin Strauss said as she came into his office before hearing his official invite. "What's wrong? It's the middle of the day, why isn't she in school?" Even though she was speaking to him, she was staring down at his office sofa at their fourteen year old sleeping daughter.

"She's had a cold for the last couple of days and she asked if she could come here after lunch instead of running around in gym class and then sitting through choir and study hall," he said from his desk. He caught her worried look and tried to reassure her. "It's just the tail end of a cold Erin, she's fine."

"Are you sure that's all it is?" She asked, concern flooding her voice as she knelt down and felt her daughter's forehead. "She feels warm, David!"

The profiler rolled his eyes; he knew it was hard on Erin not having Katie with her full-time, but she did not need to get worked up over a simple cold. "Of course she's warm Erin," he said, trying to keep the mild annoyance he felt out of his voice, "Maintenance has been keeping this place like an oven lately. Hell, she could be lying there in shorts and a t-shirt and still feel warm."

They both stared down at their daughter who was slowly waking up. "Hi mom," she said sleepily as she sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"Hi honey, how are you feeling?" Strauss asked as she sat down next to her on the sofa and rubbed her back. "Your dad told me you've been sick?"

The teen nodded, "Yeah, but I feel better now." Her statement would have been somewhat convincing if she hadn't ended it with a coughing fit.

"You need to see a doctor," Erin said in a tone that left no room for argument.

"What?" Katie said as she tried to catch her breath. "No I don't! Daaaaaadddd!"

Dave heard the pleading and whining in his daughter's voice and sympathized with her; they both HATED going to the doctor. "It's the tail end of a simple cold Erin; I'm not dragging her into the doctor's office for just that. If she's still coughing at the end of the week I'll take her in, but not before then."

"Fine," Erin grumbled, but deep down she knew she was over reacting. She couldn't help it; after having a daughter who was sick for the first nine years of her life, she tended to think the worst when her loved ones became ill. "Why don't you try to sleep some more, sweetie? I need to talk to your dad for a few minutes." She put the pillow on her lap and helped Katie lay down again. Almost as soon as her head hit the pillow, the teen's eyes closed and soon she was dozing.

"There's been a slight change of plans for Christmas," Erin said after a few minutes of watching her daughter sleep.

Dave raised his eyebrows; the BAU had managed to get Christmas Day and New Year's Day off and both he and Erin were using some of their banked vacation time to spend with their kids during their school break. The plan was for Erin and her daughters to join him and Katie at his opulent cabin for the first two weeks of their three week holiday break. He wondered what had changed.

"Timothy's parents called me yesterday," she continued. "They would like to see the girls for a few days during their Christmas break." Timothy was her psychotic ex-husband who had kidnapped her and Katie and had held them captive for a day before shooting her and injuring her daughter. He had been killed when the BAU had stormed the garage he had been holding them in.

"Oh," he said nonchalantly, but inside he fervently hoped that she wasn't going to change the plans too much since Katie had really been looking forward to spending Christmas with both of her families.

"Yes and they have always been close to the girls and they've treated them well and I don't want the girls to lose that bond with them so they're leaving on Saturday and they won't be back until Wednesday."

"Okay," he said, "That's not so bad, the four of you can join Katie and I at the cabin when they get back."

"No," Katie said as she sat up again. She'd been dozing, but not very heavily and she'd heard her parent's conversation. "Can't mom come up with us on Sunday? Why should she be all alone here?"

"Katie, maybe your dad wants to spend some one-on-one time with you; it's okay, I'll be fine by myself." Erin was already planning on coming into work those days in order to take her mind off of the fact that her girls were away from her.

"But he gets to see me all of the time!" She protested. It wasn't as though she didn't love her father or the time she got to spend with him, it's just that she didn't see her mother as much and, when she did, her three sisters were always competing for equal time. It would be nice to spend time with just her mom.

"It's fine with me if you want to join us as planned, Erin," Dave said with a shrug.

Strauss just sat on the sofa in mild shock; if someone would have told her a year ago that she would be sitting in David Rossi's office with him and their daughter trying to convince her to join them on a vacation, she would have suggested they check themselves into the nearest mental facility. It was just over a year ago that the three of them were barely on speaking terms, but a lot had happened since then and she was pleased that they were comfortable enough with each other to get to this point.

"Okay," she finally nodded. "I'll meet you at your townhouse bright and early on Sunday so we can all drive together."

"Great!" Katie said enthusiastically before another coughing fit shook her. Dave could see Erin was looking at her with a worried expression again, so he jumped in before she could say anything more about Katie visiting a doctor.

"Don't you have a meeting with the director in 10 minutes, Erin?"

Strauss glanced at her watch. "I do," she affirmed with a nod of her head as she stood up. She gave her daughter a kiss to the forehead, helped her lay back down and then headed for the door. "You promise you'll have her see a doctor if she gets any worse?"

Dave held up three fingers. "Scout's honor," he promised.

Strauss snorted and left his office and he grinned as he heard her mumble her disbelief at anyone letting _him_ into the scouts. Once Erin's voice was out of range, he looked over at Katie and found her grinning at him.

"Mom seems to have some doubts about your ability to take care of me," she remarked sleepily.

"Maybe I should remind her that you've made it fourteen years without any piercings, tattoos or visits to any jails."

"Do you really think that will appease her?" Katie asked.

"No," he said with a sigh. "I've got a couple more things to finish and then we'll be able to leave; can you make it until then, Belle?"

The teen nodded and snuggled down into the sofa," I'm fine dad." She quickly fell back to sleep except this time she had a small smile on her face.


	2. Chapter 2

First Christmas-Chapter 2

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><p>"Do me a favor, Katie Belle, and listen for the doorbell, okay?" Dave asked as he asked as he buttoned his shirt.<p>

"Fine," the teen grumbled as she walked past her dad's bedroom door. "I don't know why you have to go to this stupid thing with _her_," she mumbled angrily as her foot hit the stairs. Why did he have to go on a date? Didn't he know that he was wrecking _everything_? The only thing Katie wanted for Christmas that year was for her two parents to get together, was that too much to ask? She was tired of splitting her time between her mother and sisters and her father, she wanted them to be together and she wasn't the only one. All three of her sisters also wanted to see the two of them together, since they wanted Dave as a dad. Sure her dad and mom may have been like gasoline and fire at first, but now they were getting along really well and they all did so much stuff together, they might as well become a real family, right? But now her dad was about to blow everything to hell with his stupid date.

"Katie wait," he called out. She turned around and expected him to ask her if she was okay with him going on a date and she was going to give him an unequivocal 'NO,' but to her surprise, he just held up two ties. "Which one looks better?"

The red one was clearly nicer, so she gave a loud huff and said, "The blue one." He tossed the red one into his bedand began threading the blue tie through his collar.

"What's your problem tonight?" He asked as he began tying a half-Windsor knot.

"Nothing," she said belligerently.

"Nothing huh? 'Cause it sure seems like something's wrong," he remarked as he struggled with the tie.

Katie wanted to blurt everything out to him, but she knew she had to play it cool, she and her sisters had to make their parents think that getting together was their idea. She knew that if she blew it now, Ellen, Allie and Clara would kill her. "Why do you have to go out _tonight_?" She asked. "We _always _go out to dinner on my last day of school before a long vacation, but now you're abandoning me to go out with _her._"

"I told you earlier Katie, I have to go to this thing tonight; it's a holiday party being thrown by my publishing company. How would it look if I missed it?"

"Yeah, but you're leaving me all alone," she whined, trying to make him feel guilty. Her original plan had been for her to spend the night at her mom's house, but she was still getting over her cold and she didn't want to expose Clara to any of her germs. Ever since she'd donated bone marrow to the girl the previous year, Clara had been on medications that suppressed her immune system so she wouldn't reject transplant, but that meant she was susceptible to even the mildest of illnesses.

"You're fourteen years old Belle; it's not like I'm throwing you to the wolves. Hell, I even left you pizza money and I picked up your favorite soda. Besides, I said you could invite Kayla over." Kayla was her best friend and because Katie spent so much time with her mom and sisters now, she felt like she hardly ever got to see her friend.

"She's at her aunt and uncle's house tonight; we're getting together tomorrow to exchange presents before we leave for the cabin. Do you really have to go tonight?"

Dave nodded, "I really do. Come on honey, you've never had a problem with my dating before."

'Yeah, 'cause you were never spending large amounts of time with my biological mother before!' She wanted to scream at him, but at that moment the doorbell rang.

"Why is _she _picking _you _up?" Katie asked snarkily. "Doesn't the guy usually pick the girl up at her house?"

"Molly is a doctor and she's on call tonight, so she needs her own transportation. If she gets called to the hospital, I'll just take a cab home. Now, would you please go open the door for her? I need a few minutes."

"Fine," she huffed and she slowly made her way down the stairs and opened the front door. Standing on the other side of it was a beautiful, red-headed, older woman who looked friendly enough but Katie immediately saw her as the enemy.

"Hi!" The woman said cheerily, "You must be Katie; I'm Molly Thompson, I think your dad is expecting me."

"Uh huh," Katie said as she held the door open so the woman could enter the house. She closed the door behind her and went into the living room, leaving her to just stand there. After a moment, Dave's date made her way into the other room and she sat down next to Katie.

"Your dad told me you just started high school?" Katie, who had picked up the closest magazine to her, nodded and pretended to read. "How do you like it?" Dr. Thompson pressed.

With a long suffering sigh, Katie looked up from her magazine. "It's fine."

The woman was about to try another question when, thankfully, Dave appeared in the doorway to the living room. "Sorry for making you wait, Molly."

She smiled, "It's fine Dave."

"Did you offer our guest anything to drink Belle?" He asked.

"I was kinda busy reading in here," she told him as she set the magazine down. Dave, who had come into the room by that point, glanced at the cover of the publication and quirked an eyebrow. "_Field __and __Stream_? Really?"

"You don't know everything I read!" Katie snapped back at him in a huffy tone. "At least I didn't accidentally pick up one of your copies of _Playboy _again."

Dave turned bright red, both out of embarrassment and anger, but mostly out of embarrassment. "That happened _one_ time and I apologized for it," he said and then turned to his amused date to explain. "I needed a copy for a case I was working on and I accidentally left it out and a certain twelve year old found it before I could get it put away."

"Yeah right," Katie snorted. "I'm sure it was _just_ for a case."

Molly, who could see that her date was struggling not to kill his daughter, stepped in before he could say or do anything to her. "We'd better get going Dave, the party started twenty minutes ago."

"You're right," he said, shooting one last glare at his daughter who, upon receipt of it, crossed her arms defiantly in front of her. Dave had Molly take the lead and once she was a few paces ahead of him, he turned around and faced his daughter. "I'll talk to _you_ later tonight when I get home," he said softly, through clenched teeth.

Katie would've had to have been in a coma to have missed the implied threat in that statement, but she just jutted her chin out and said, "Fine."

Shaking his head, Dave followed his date into the foyer and out the door. Once they were outside, he apologized for Katie's behavior.

"I don't know what got into her Molly," he said as they walked to her car. "She's usually a polite and well behaved kid."

"Don't worry about it," his date said with a smile. "I understand, fourteen is a rough age."

"Yeah, well it will be even rougher for her if she continues to act like that," he told her as he opened the driver's side door for her.

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In another part of town, at the Strauss residence, seventeen year old Ellen Strauss had just come down the stairs dressed in a maroon colored, semi-formal dress. "You look beautiful, honey," her mother told her as she took picture after picture of her.

"Yeah Ellie, you look like a princess!" Allie said as she got up from her place in front of the TV.

"Thanks squirt," Ellen said as she slipped into her high heeled shoes. The annual Christmas dance wasn't as formal as prom, but most kids got really dressed up for it and it was a pretty big deal.

"Your dress is really pretty," Clara said longingly as she got up from the family computer; she hoped that one day she would be as beautiful as her oldest sister and she couldn't WAIT to go to her first dance.

"When is Edward picking you up?" Erin asked as she took a picture of Ellen with her sisters.

The teen glanced at the clock on the wall. "He'll be here any minute," she told her mom as she looked for her matching purse.

"And both of you know the rules for tonight, right?"

"Yes mother," Ellen sighed in annoyance: they had been over it a million times before. "No drinking, no drugs, no leaving the dance and I pour my own drinks from an unopened can or bottle and then I hold it until I'm done."

'And no sex!' Erin wanted to add, but she knew her daughter well enough to know that if she put that caveat onto the night, her daughter would sleep with her fairly new boyfriend just out of spite. "Curfew is midnight."

"Midnight!" Ellen protested. "Moooommmm, the dance doesn't even end until midnight! How about one?"

"Twelve-thirty," Erin compromised. "Your flight leaves at three o'clock tomorrow afternoon and you still have to pack."

"Fine," Ellen agreed begrudgingly, "I'll be home by twelve-thirty." At that moment the doorbell rang and the rest of the time was spent taking picture after picture of the young couple. Ellen tried getting close to him in the pictures, but he kept pulling away from her. Finally, after they were both nearly blind from all of the flashes, they made the short walk to his car. Once they were inside of it, Ellen leaned over and tried giving her boyfriend a passionate kiss, but he pulled away with a look of terror on his face.

"Let's just get going Ellen, we have dinner reservations for seven," he said nervously as he started the car.

"Don't I even get a kiss hello?" She asked with a pout. Edward glanced around and then leaned over and gave her a peck on the cheek.

"What the hell was THAT?" Ellen asked, pissed off. "That's how you kiss your grandmother! _This_ is how you kiss me!" With that, she grabbed his tie, pulled him closer and crashed her lips onto his. This time he responded to the kiss for a few moments before he pushed her away and leaned as far away from her as he could.

"Seriously Ellen, we've got to get going!" He told her as he put the car in drive and started down the street.

"What is wrong with you?" She asked in dismay. "Why do you seem afraid to touch me?"

"Afraid?" The boy said with a nervous laugh, "Why would I be afraid?"

"I don't know why, but you are and I'm not leaving this car until you tell me the truth. What, am I not pretty enough for you tonight? Did I wear the wrong dress?"

Edward, seeing his night going even farther into the toilet, pulled the car to the side of the road. "Okay," he said nervously, "I'll tell you. I was at work the other day, shelving books and minding my own business, when this big, older, official looking guy came to see me, he even asked for me by name at the info desk." Edward worked at the Barnes & Noble store in Georgetown. "Anyway, he flashed his wallet at my boss, said something to him and the next thing I know this guy has his arm around me like he's a friend of mine, except the conversation was anything but friendly."

"What did he say?" She asked, surprised at the story.

"He told me that if I did anything with you or _to_ you tonight, he would make me very sorry and then he got really creative with his threats."

"Was he in his fifties? Did he have a goatee?" She asked suspiciously; she was fairly sure she knew who the 'big, older, official looking guy' was, but she wanted to be sure before she killed him.

Edward's eyes widened and he nodded, "So you know him?"

"I'm fairly sure I do," she said, her eyes narrowing in anger.

"So that's why I can't touch you tonight. He said we could slow dance but we had to leave enough room between us for the Holy Ghost."

Ellen groaned, "You don't have to be afraid to touch me, Edward, he's never going to find out."

The teenage boy shook his head violently. "He said he has eyes all over the city, and I believe him! Sorry Ellen, this is as close as I'm getting to you tonight." And he kept that promise; all night, he stayed at least three paces away from her and when they slow danced, the Father, Son _and _the Holy Ghost, along with about a dozen phone books, could have fit between them. Each time Ellen saw Edward glance around the gymnasium looking terrified, it only added various words to her rant; the rant she planned to unleash on a certain Italian first thing the next morning.


	3. Chapter 3

First Christmas-Chapter 3

**~It's a long one, but I couldn't decide where to cut it. I know it's a Christmas story, which signifies fluffiness and joy, but with four girls ages 7-17, there is bound to be angst and drama. I promise there will eventually be holiday cheer in the story.**

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><p>The next morning, Dave sat in the kitchen drinking coffee as he waited for his daughter to wake up. He'd had a nice time with his date the previous night and things had gone smoothly after their rough start at his house, but he was still a bit put out by his daughter's behavior and he planned on discussing it with her as soon as she woke up. The only reason he hadn't talked with her the previous night was because when he'd gotten home, he'd found her asleep on the sofa. Not wanting to wake her in order to read her the riot act, he'd scooped her up and carried her to her bed, where he had tucked her in. But now it was a new day and they were definitely going to have a refresher in proper manners.<p>

Katie, who had been awake for a little while, correctly guessed that her dad was still angry with her for her actions the night before and she wasn't real anxious to go downstairs, especially when she was still feeling kinda pissed at him for going out in the first place, but she had to pee really bad and she knew that once he heard her walking around in her bedroom, he would expect her at breakfast soon after. For the next twenty minutes the teen tried to focus on ANYTHING other than the pressure in her bladder, but she finally admitted defeat and jumped up and ran to the bathroom. Once she was finished, she slowly washed her hands and then made her way down the stairs.

"Morning," she said meekly as she pulled a bowl and her box of cereal down from the shelves.

"Morning," Dave said coolly as he watched her fix her breakfast. He let her sit down and eat half of it before starting in on her. "What was last night all about?" He asked as calmly as he could. "You have better manners than that! Honestly Katie, you were acting like a spoiled six year old!"

"I was not!" She protested loudly as she slammed her spoon into her bowl. "_You_ were the one acting all stupid, worried about your tie and everything! And y_ou _were the one who left me here by myself! Excuse me for thinking we were going to go out to dinner last night, LIKE WE ALWAYS DO!"

"You watch your tone, young lady," Dave warned. "I told you why I had to go to the Christmas party last night and I thought you understood, but I guess I overestimated your level of maturity!"

"I'm _not _immature!" Katie protested angrily.

Her dad ignored her and continued. "And even if you were angry with me, that didn't give you the right to be so rude to my friend!"

"She was a bitch," the teen said as she stared at the table. The second the word was out of her mouth, she knew she had made a colossal mistake. That notion was reaffirmed a split-second later when her father's hand crashed against the table loudly.

"That's it!" He said angrily. "Bathroom. Now!" He ordered as he stood up.

Katie jerked her head up, "What?"

Dave nodded, "You heard me. Now!"

She slowly got up from her chair and followed her dad into the small bathroom just off of the kitchen. She wasn't quite sure what was about to happen but, from the furious look on his face, she knew she had really pissed him off. She walked into the bathroom and saw him reach into one of the drawers and pull out small bar of soap; the type that was found in hotels all over the country.

"Sit." He barked, pointing to the closed toilet. Katie sat and waited for the next order. To her horror, he unwrapped the bar of soap, ran it under the faucet for a few seconds and then turned to her.

"Dad, you can't!" She practically begged.

"I can and I am," he said as he held the bar of soap out to her. "I've warned you about your language usage and what would happen if you ever swore at me again."

"But I didn't swear at _you_, I swore ABOUT _her_," she argued futilely; she could tell he'd already made up his mind.

"Open up," he ordered and wasn't too surprised when she clamped her lips together tightly and shook her head. "Kate Lynn Rossi, right now you're going to hold this bar of soap in your mouth for two minutes. If you make me start counting, it'll be even longer." She shook her head again and kept her mouth shut. "One...two...thr-" with that she finally opened her mouth and he slid the bar of soap between her lips. " Four minutes," he said as he glanced at his watch.

The first minute passed with a lecture from Dave. "It might interest you to know that Molly, or the 'bitch' as you called her, is a pediatric oncologist. Do you know what that means? It means she helps kids with cancer! She helps save their lives and there isn't a bitchy bone in her body! And even if she had been mean to you last night, which I'm sure she wasn't, you should have come to me about it instead of acting rudely towards her. Got it?"

Katie nodded as tears streamed down her face and just looking at her was almost enough to make Dave cut her punishment short, but then he thought of the way she'd acted, both last night and that morning, and he shored up his resolve. "If you ever, and I mean _ever_, swear at, to or about another adult, we'll be repeating this exercise, except next time you won't be able to sit down for it. Capisce?"

She nodded again as her tears fell harder and he was about to say something else when his phone rang. Recognizing the ring tone as Erin's, he said, "Two more minutes; I'll let you know when you can take the soap out of your mouth." With that, he took the phone from his pocket and stepped out into the kitchen.

"What's up, Erin?" He asked tersely.

"I don't know what you did or what you said to Ellen, but she's out for your blood this morning."

"Dammit! Can't her boyfriend keep his goddamn yap shut?"

"What did you do?" Strauss asked and Dave hesitantly recounted his actions. By the end of his explanation, Erin was laughing. "Good, I've never liked that kid; I'm glad you put the fear of God into his heart but you're on your own with Ellen. As soon as she finished her breakfast, she took off for the nearest Metro stop."

"She's on her way here?" Dave asked in dismay.

"Mmm, hmmm," Erin said as she took a large drink of her coffee. "In fact, she should be there soon."

"Great," he said with a sigh, "She and Katie can argue over who hates me the most this morning."

"Why, what happened with Katie?"

"She's sucking on a bar of soap right now," he told her and then informed her of the poor attitude their daughter had displayed both the night before and that morning. "So don't be surprised if you get another 'I want to come live with you' phone call this afternoon." The last couple of times they'd argued or Dave had to punish her, Katie had called her mother in tears asking to come live with her and each time Erin told her that she needed to patch things up with her dad, that running away wasn't the answer. Every time she called, Erin also informed her daughter that she agreed with the punishment that had been handed down to her since she knew she and Dave had to present a united front.

"I'll let her know that if I had been there, she would have gotten worse from me," she said firmly.

"Thanks Erin, I-oh damn, Ellen's here," Dave told her as he saw the girl start up the path to the back door.

"Good luck," Strauss said with a laugh.

"Thanks," he muttered as he disconnected the call. "You can take the soap out of your mouth and rinse," he called back to Katie as Ellen knocked on the door. He opened it and the girl immediately began to speak.

"I'd like to talk to you," she said in a tone that was dripping with anger.

"Come on in," he said as he held the door open for her. She strode into the kitchen and flung her coat onto one of the chairs. "Would you like some breakfast?"

"_No_, what I would like is for you to stay the hell out of my life!" She shouted.

"Watch it young lady," Dave warned. "I understand that you're upset, but-"

"Upset? UPSET? I am WAY beyond upset Dave, I'm livid! How DARE you terrorize my boyfriend! God, do you know what you did? Do you know how mortified I was to hear that you threatened him upon pain of death if he touched me? Do you know how humiliated I was when my friends found out what you did?"

"At least the SAT prep courses you took helped your vocabulary," he muttered and then saw the murderous look on her face. "Look Ellen, I'm sorry if I ruined your night, but-"

"IF you ruined my life? IF?" She screeched. "There is no 'if' about it, you _definitely_ ruined my life! How could you DO that to me?"

"He did it because he's a big jerk!" Katie said loudly as she entered the room. Dave stared at her in angry amazement.

"I _just_ washed your mouth out with soap for your disrespect; do you want some more?"

"No," she said haughtily as she stood next to her older sister, "You washed my mouth out for swearing about your date, _not _for disrespect!"

"You're right," he said tightly. "For your disrespect, you're grounded; you can spend the day in your bedroom."

"But I'm supposed to go to Kayla's to exchange Christmas presents this afternoon!" She protested loudly as Ellen gave her a sympathetic look.

"Tough, you should have thought of that before you decided to mouth off to me," her dad told her.

"Aarrrrgh! You drive me insane!" She screamed through her tears as she started up the stairs; for Katie that was one level below screaming 'I hate you' at him.

Once he heard his daughter's door slam, he turned back to his pseudo-daughter. "I'm sorry I ruined your night Ellen, but you don't understand what seventeen year old boys are like. They only have one thing on their minds and I didn't want to see you getting hurt."

"Did you ever stop to think that maybe I can take care of myself?" She snarled. "I'm Erin Strauss's daughter, don't you think she taught me how to defend myself? Do you really think my mom would let me go to a dance without pepper spray in my purse?"

"Pepper spray is fine, but someone needed to talk to that kid before he took you out and, no offense to your mom, who can be scary in her own right, that kid needed to hear it from a guy."

"God, you are such a caveman!" Ellen screeched. "You're NOT my father so from now on just stay the hell out of my life!"

"I can't do that!" He yelled back. "I may not be your dad but you're like a daughter to me and if you think I'm just going to sit back and let you go out with every Tom, Dick and Harry that shows up at your door, then you have another thing coming!"

"God, I can see why Katie's so mad at you, you're infuriating! I don't even want to spend Christmas with you after all of this!"

"Too bad," he told her as he began laying down the law. "You're coming to the cabin with your mother and sisters and we're going to spend Christmas together as a family. Like it or not, we _are _a family and I'm not going to let one member of the family sit at home and sulk during the holiday."

"You're just not happy unless you're telling people what to do, are you?" She asked snidely and to both of their surprises, the response to her question came from the top of the steps.

"No, he's not! He LOVES running other people's lives!"

"Katie, unless you want me to come up there, I suggest you get your tail back in your bedroom," he called out in warning. He heard her footsteps above him and, once again, her bedroom door slammed shut.

Dave picked Ellen's coat up from the kitchen chair and handed it to her. "This discussion is over Ellen. You need to go home and pack for your grandparent's house and when you get back, we'll spend Christmas at the cabin and we _will_ be one big, happy family. Understand?"

"Dream on," she huffed as she snatched the coat from his hands and stalked to the door. Like her younger sister, she slammed it behind her when she left.

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The rest of the day was quiet for Dave. With Katie up in her room, there was no one for him to talk to, nor was music or idle chatter in the background. No, the only company he had as he did his laundry and made notes for his next book was the television. At around noon and six o'clock, he'd called Katie down for both lunch and dinner, but she hadn't responded, nor had she come down to the first floor. He could tell by her footsteps as she moved around her room that she was still alive, but otherwise he didn't have any contact with her.

At around seven o'clock that night, he trekked up the stairs holding a tray full of food. He'd made Italian beef sandwiches and homemade French fries, along with a salad and he would be damned if she wasn't going to eat it. Plus, he didn't want thei anger hanging over them at the cabin, so he wanted to try to make peace with her before they left the next morning.

Once he got to her door, he balanced the tray in one hand and raised the other to knock when he heard voices. He felt his anger return since he thought she was talking on her cell phone, even though she knew it was off limits when she was on restriction, but then he heard her say "good boy" and he knew Mudgie must have gone up there at some point and she was talking to him. Feeling the tray begin to de-stabilize in his hand, he knocked on the door. "Belle, can I come in?" There was no answer, so he knocked again. "I'm coming in Katie," he warned as he turned the knob. He walked in to find both his daughter and dog sitting on the floor and Mudgie looked very content as Katie stroked his fur.

"I brought your dinner," he said as he set the tray down on her bedside table.

"Not hungry," she said as she stared at the dog. "I'm on a hunger strike, give the food to Mudgie." The dog's head perked up when he heard his name and the word food in the same sentence.

Dave fought the smile that threatened to overtake his mouth. "Hunger strikes are for political prisoners Katie and you are _not _a political prisoner."

"Don't care," she said, still looking at the dog. "I'm not eating."

"Yes you are," he said as some of his irritation came back. "Don't test me on this Katie, you won't win."

Katie, whose mouth was practically watering at the smell of the food, muttered, "Whatever," and then got up from her sitting position on the floor, ignoring her dad's hand when he offered it to her. She sat down on her bed and began eating quickly; she hadn't had anything since breakfast and she was starving.

Dave sat in her desk chair and studied her while she ate. He knew she could be moody, but today was the first time he'd seen it this bad. No, something must have happened to cause her to act so badly.

"Quit profiling me!" She whined as she ate her dinner. Once she was old enough to understand what he did for a profession, he'd agreed not to use his profiling skills on her but there were times he couldn't help it.

"I wouldn't have to if you would just tell me what's wrong. Did I do something to upset you? And please don't tell me it's about not taking you out to dinner last night, because we both know it's more than that."

Katie was torn; she knew if she didn't talk to him, he'd get even more pissed but her sisters would kill her if she ruined anything between their parents by blabbing that they wanted them to get together, so she was stuck. She finally decided to tell him some of what was on her mind, but not the whole thing.

"It was just weird seeing you with that other woman," she said quietly as she stared down at her plate. "Especially since you and mom have been spending so much time together."

"But your mother and I are just friends," he said carefully as he studied her body language. "And you've seen me date other women before."

Katie shook her head, "Not since we started spending time with mom and my sisters," she argued. "And…I don't know, it just didn't feel right seeing you with Dr. Thompson."

"Okay, I understand that seeing me with other women will take some getting used to for you, but that doesn't give you the excuse to act the way you did towards her last night, or towards me this morning."

"I know," the teen admitted, "And I'm sorry; I'm sorry for calling her the b-word and I'm sorry for calling you a jerk." She wasn't really sorry, but she didn't want to be grounded at the cabin and she knew if she mouthed off to him again, he would have done just that.

Dave stared at her for a moment, unable to tell if she was sincere in her apology or only telling him what he wanted to hear. He finally decided it was a bit of both, but he nodded his head. "Apology accepted," he said as he leaned forward and kissed the top of her head. Seeing she had finished her supper, he took the tray and stood up.

"Dad? Do I really have to stay in my room for the rest of the night?"

Dave nodded, "Yup, and I want you in bed in an hour; that will give you just enough time to pack for the cabin."

"Fine," she pouted. "I don't suppose you'd let me out of here if I told you I loved you?"

He shook his head, "It's a nice try, but it doesn't change your behavior from last night or today. But, for the record, I love you too." That got a small smile from her and, as he left her room, he knew something deeper was going on with her but for the time being there was peace in the valley and he would take it.


	4. Chapter 4

First Christmas-Chapter 4

**~I can't decide if I want Dave and Erin to get together romantically, or if I want them to remain friends in this universe. I put a poll up on my profile so please take a second to vote, or if you have thoughts on the matter feel free to put them in a review or send me a PM. Thanks!**

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><p>The next morning, Erin, Dave and Katie pulled up to the cabin bright and early. Thankfully for everyone in the vehicle, the teen seemed to be over her moodiness from the previous day and the ride up had been fairly cheerful. Dave, who was feeling especially festive, had tuned the car radio into one of the stations that played Christmas carols 247 and he'd gotten many laughs from both his daughter and his former lover for his off-key sing-along with Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. After that, Erin had turned off the radio and they'd made plans for the next few days at the cabin.

First, they had to get the outside decorated as quickly as possible. To Katie, it wasn't Christmas if there weren't lights along the trim of the cabin and all over the trees and bushes out front. Of course she was the one who wanted the décor but Dave knew he would be the one stuck actually doing it but he figured it was a small price to pay to see her happy. A tiny part of him felt bad for the previous day; he'd lost his temper with her and had come down hard on her, but she had to learn he was serious about showing her elders respect.

After decorating the outside of the cabin, the only thing on the agenda was rest and relaxation. While they all wanted to bake, and eat, many Christmas cookies they also wanted to wait until Ellen, Clara and Allie were there so they could make them together as a family. That and cutting down the tree would have to wait until they returned from their grandparents house.

As soon as Dave put the SUV in park, the two women got out and looked around. While he still needed to put up the lights, the front lawn of the cabin was already decorated with various Christmas lawn ornaments and it resembled a winter wonderland.

"Did you do this?" Katie asked her dad in disbelief. The previous Christmas she had mentioned that it would be neat to have something like this out front, but she'd only mentioned it in passing and he'd barely responded.

Dave, who was trying to free Mudgie from the packed cargo area of the SUV, nodded. "You said something about it last year and I thought it would be nice for you." The dog finally freed himself and leapt out of the car. Once loose, he ran around the property sniffing and marking. Dave watched him for a minute and was surprised when his daughter threw her arms around him.

"Thanks dad, this is great!" He returned the hug and smiled at the top of her head.

"I can't take all of the credit for it," he admitted. "I just bought the stuff and planned the setup, but it was the Wenzel kids who put it up before we got here."

"But it was still really nice of you to think of me," she said as she released him. "And I really _am_ sorry about yesterday," she told him, actually meaning it this time.

"I know you are Belle," he said, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. They both stood there for a moment, watching Mudgie run around before Dave said, "Well we should probably-" He stopped mid-sentence as a snowball struck him and landed squarely on the left side of his head, knocking his cap off.

"Gotcha David!" Erin chortled. Dave just stood there in amazement; he couldn't believe the woman had the nerve to throw a snowball at him! He would have retaliated on the spot if it weren't for his daughter's reaction.

As soon as the snowball had hit him, Katie's reaction had also been one of shock, but that had quickly changed to giggles and now, seeing the expression on his face, she was bent over and laughing so hard she could barely breathe.

"Oh my God dad, you should have seen your face!" She exclaimed, still laughing hard. Dave, who had recovered by this point, advanced on her and took advantage of her near hysterics.

"Seriously," she laughed, "it was like-" The rest of _her _sentence was cut off when Dave shoved a handful of snow down the back of her sweatshirt. Katie shrieked and danced around, trying to get the snow to fall out of the bottom of her shirt as the sound of her father's laughter filled the air. Once she had composed herself again, she narrowed her eyes at her dad and said, "You are _so_ dead."

The two Rossi's stared at each other for a moment and then, at the same time, they both reached down and grabbed some snow. For the next few minutes it was a snowball free for all, with Dave and Katie throwing snow at each other with reckless abandonment. During the fight, Dave was impressed with her accurate aim and she was actually winning the snowball fight, but he hadn't gotten to where he was without fighting dirty every now and then, so he stepped out from behind the cover of his tree and advanced on her.

Katie, for her part, pelted him with snowball after snowball, but nothing seemed to stop him, he just kept coming toward her. Finally, when he was less than six feet away from her, she shrieked and began running. He easily caught her and, with a large grin on his face, he pulled her to the snowy ground, unzipped her jacket and began tickling her.

"Do you surrender?" He asked during a pause as he knelt next to her with his fingers poised just above her ribcage.

"Never!" She yelled and then began screaming and laughing as he continued his tickle assault. "I'm…gonna…wet…my…pants!" She gasped through her laughter.

"Well then you'd better give up!" Dave warned as he increased the tickle factor.

"No way!" Katie yelled as she squirmed around. She lasted another thirty seconds before finally shouting, "Okay, you win, I surrender!"

Giving her a triumphant smile, Dave stopped tickling her and waited as she caught her breath. "You fight dirty!" She accused as she continued to lay on the snowy ground.

"You started it!" He retorted as he helped her up.

"No I didn't, mom did!" Katie reminded him.

"You're right, she did," Dave said with mischief in his voice. They both turned around and saw that Erin had been taking picture after picture of both their snowball fight and the tickle fight and they watched as her grin changed to a look of fear.

"Now I don't know what the two of you are thinking, but it's time to stop this nonsense," she said in her strongest 'Erin Strauss, Section Chief' voice.

"But Erin, don't you want to be a part of things?" Dave asked as he and Katie began to advance on her.

"Yeah mom, we don't want you to feel left out," Katie said in a sweet voice.

"That's okay, I had fun just watching the two of you," she said, walking backwards. The three of them did this for another few steps until Dave suddenly said, "Let's get her, Katie Belle!"

The two Rossi's ran towards her but, like Dave, Erin was also in great shape and she began running as well. She might have made it to the cabin, but she'd started out facing them and the split second it took her to turn around allowed Dave to catch up to her. She felt him grab her arm and then suddenly he had scooped her into his arms. "Let me go, David!" She ordered sternly, but Dave just laughed as he walked towards the edge of the wooded area of his property.

"Get her camera, Katie," he ordered and the teen, seeing where he was going, took the camera off of her mother's wrist with a grin.

"Put me down this instant, David!" She insisted.

"Anything you say, Erin," he said with a grin as he dumped her into a large snow drift.

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Later that night, Erin reluctantly got out of the large Jacuzzi tub in the master bathroom and wrapped herself up in her robe. She stepped out of the bathroom and into the large master bedroom and just looked around for a moment; Dave had given her the master bedroom, saying that between her, the four girls and the Jacuzzi, he wouldn't get to use the bathroom anyway and he might as well give it up before it was taken from him.

After she explored the room a little more, she changed into her pajamas and had just slipped between the warm, flannel sheets of the comfortable, king sized bed when there was a soft knock on the door. "Come in," she called out and was not surprised to see her daughter enter the room.

"What's the matter Katie, can't sleep?"

"Um, not really," the teen said, suddenly shy. "I thought…well…"

"What is it honey?" Erin asked as she patted the bed next to her. Katie sat at the edge of it and looked down at the DVD in her hands.

"Well…dad, mom and I…we used to come here for Christmas all the time and mom and I would always curl up in front of the TV and watch movies together after dad went to bed…smarmy Christmas movies that he wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole…" Erin smiled at that; she knew Dave's movie tastes ranged from old black and whites to modern gangster movies and she couldn't imagine him sitting through the type of movie she knew her daughter enjoyed.

"Anyway," Katie continued, still looking down at her hands, "I was, um, wondering if you'd like to watch a movie with me?"

Erin was touched that Katie wanted to continue such a personal and sentimental tradition with her. "Of course I would; what movie do you have?"

Katie smiled and held up the box. "_Love __Actually_," she told her. "I've always wanted to see it, but dad just started letting me watch R rated movies."

"I've never seen it either," Strauss said as Katie put the movie in the DVD player and then climbed into the large bed with her. The movie started and they both got into it, but after an hour or so, Erin heard heavy breathing next to her. She looked over and saw that her daughter had fallen asleep on the other side of the bed, so she turned the movie off, picked up her book and began to read, glancing over at the teenager every once in a while. Shortly after she stopped the movie, there was another knock on the door.

"Come in," she said softly, so as not to wake Katie. Dave entered the room and stopped when he saw their daughter's sleeping form.

"I'm turning in and I wanted to make sure you have everything you need," he told her.

"I'm fine, thanks," she said as she set her book down.

Dave saw the DVD box on her nightstand and smiled, "So Katie re-started the movie tradition with you? You should feel honored, that was a pretty big deal for her and Janet."

Erin nodded, "I can't believe she wanted to re-start it with me."

"I can carry her to her bedroom if you'd like," he said as he started for the bed but Erin stopped him.

"She's fine here, David," she told him as they both stared at the sleeping teenager for a moment. "I've missed so much with her and I was so horrible to her," she whispered, referring to her behavior around the time of Clara's bone marrow transplant.

"But you're here now and you're trying to make it up to her," Dave said, hearing the emotion in her voice. "Believe me, Katie is a forgiving person and she only remembers the good times with you."

"I know, I just…I don't know, I guess I get emotional around the holidays. I'm worried about the girls since it's their first Christmas since Timothy died."

"I know you are, and that's why we're going to make this a great Christmas for all of them, got it?"

Erin nodded and Dave turned to leave the room. "Thanks for all of this Dave, thanks for including my girls and I in your holiday plans."

"I was never _not _going to invite the four of you. I've said it before and I'll say it again; like it or not, we're all family now and families stick together," he told her firmly. "It's gonna be a good Christmas Erin, you'll see." With that, he left the room, shutting the door behind him.

In the silence of the room, Erin fervently prayed he was right.

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><p><em>AN 2: This chapter may be it for the next four or five days. I have massive amounts of academic writing to finish before Thursday and that will be occupying a lot of my time._


	5. Chapter 5

This Crazy Thing Called Life-Chapter 5

**_IMPORTANT, PLEASE READ! _ You're probably thinking, 'I don't remember this story,' and you're right, you _don't_ remember this story because it's new...sort of. It started out as a Christmas story in my 'Family Ties' universe, you probably remember it as 'First Christmas' if you remember it at all since I haven't updated it since December. Anyway, I couldn't think of a decent enough plot line for a stand alone Christmas story but an idea for an epic in this universe hit me so that's what I've decided to write...I've changed the name of the story to reflect this new direction. Christmas for the Rossi and Strauss families will be the beginning story arc in this epic and I hope to update it fairly often. Sorry for any confusion this may have caused. **

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><p>The next morning, Erin woke up to the exclamation of "son of a bitch!" coming from outside of the cabin. The voice was Dave's and he sounded incredibly frustrated and she wondered what the hell he was doing. She was just about to get up and investigate when she heard a giggle escape from the person lying next to her.<p>

"Dad must be putting up the Christmas lights outside," Katie said with a smile as she turned on her side and faced her mother. "Mom and I used to call those his 'holiday words'."

"Does he need our help?" Erin asked with a smile, praying he didn't. The sunlight streaming into the room gave the illusion of warmth, but she knew it was probably bone-chillingly cold outside.

"Probably," the teen said, "But he won't ask us and if we ask _him, _he'll deny it. I say we stay here where it's toasty warm until dad either finishes, loses his mind or asks us for help."

"I think that's a great idea," her mom agreed as she gave a leisurely stretch, still burrowed deeply under the down comforter. "Did you sleep well?" She asked as she turned on her side to face her daughter.

Katie turned to face her as well, "Yup. Do you want to finish our movie while we eat breakfast?"

"Sure," Erin responded. "You stay in the warm bed and I'll go down and get us some food." She reluctantly got out of the comfortable bed and took exactly one step toward the door when she saw a plate of bagels and a carafe of orange juice sitting on a table near the door. She was touched that Dave had left them breakfast _and_ that he'd remembered that she didn't care for a heavy breakfast in the morning. Turning back towards her daughter, she saw the teen had rolled over onto her stomach and was trying to go back to sleep.

"Sorry Katie," she said as she sat back down on the bed and set the tray of food on her bedside table. "Your dad left breakfast for us, so it's time to get up.

"Mmmmm, just five more minutes," she said as she buried her head under her pillow.

"Katie," Erin warned lightly, "Don't make me tickle you awake like I do your sisters."

The teen popped her head out from under the pillow. "You wouldn't!"

"Oh wouldn't I?" Erin grinned as she held her waggling fingers near her daughter's ribcage.

"Fine! I'm up, I'm up! No need for tickles," Katie shrieked as she flipped over and bolted into an upright position in the bed.

"Good," her mother said smugly as she set the tray of food on the bed and then picked up a bagel and dipped it into some of the flavored cream cheese that Dave had included on the tray.

"You fight just as dirty as dad does," Katie grumbled as she also reached for a bagel. She didn't like cream cheese, but her dad had remembered that and had included a jar of strawberry jelly on the tray. As she dipped it into the jelly, her mother asked her what she wanted to do for the rest of the day.

"Well, I should probably go out sometime to see if dad needs a hand, then I promised him I would go duck hunting with him later on."

"Really?" Erin asked surprised; she had known her daughter for over a year and she didn't seem like the hunting type.

"Yeah," she said with a sigh. "Dad has always wanted a hunting buddy and he asks me to go with him every time we come up here. I figured since I was so nasty to him the other day, I should make it up to him by going."

"What was up with that?" Erin asked, raising an eyebrow. "Your father told me about how you behaved with his date and your actions when he called you on it the next day. Did you really think he'd let you get away with that?"

"I plead temporary insanity," Katie mumbled, not wanting to get into it with her mother. Unfortunately she had other ideas.

"C'mon Katie, you were rude to your dad and his date and then when he tried talking to you about it, you swore at him. That's not like you."

"Can we please talk about something else?" She asked as she took another bite of bagel.

Erin shook her head, "Nope."

"Fine," the teen said with a huff, "I just didn't like his date, okay? She tried way too hard with me, asking me about school and everything, and dad acted like an idiot when he was near her. Plus it was weird seeing him go out with her since he hasn't been on a date since-" She stopped suddenly as she realized what she was about to say, but her mother wouldn't let it go.

"Since when?" Katie remained quiet, so Erin repeated the question a little louder. "Since when?

"Since we all started hanging out as a family…since last spring, _okay_?" Katie practically shouted. Erin didn't know what to make of that information, so she filed it away in her brain so she could think about it later that night. While a part of her wanted to pump her daughter for more information, she knew by her tone that she was getting pissy and, not wanting to ruin the entire day so early in the morning, she changed the subject back to a safer topic.

"How about later today we convince your father to play _Scrabble _with us? That will give you the chance to see what a sore loser he is at the game."

"I've already seen it," Katie said with a smirk, her mood lightening. "His biggest words are cat and dog. It's like reading a 'Dick and Jane' book when I play with him."

Erin snorted at that as she finished her breakfast.

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"What…what is it?" Katie asked her dad in a whisper as she poked her fork at the dessert her mother had set down in front of her. Dave had gotten an identical plate of the unidentifiable food and he was poking at it as well.

"I think it's fruitcake," he whispered back. "Just try a bite, I'm sure you'll like it." Katie just stared at him in disbelief so he amended his statement. "If you don't try it, you'll hurt your mother's feelings."

_That_ got through to the teen since the last thing she wanted to do was hurt her mother. The day had passed quickly even though the three of them hadn't done much. By the time her dad had finished putting the Christmas lights on the outside of the cabin, she and her mother had made a warm lunch for him. After they ate, her mom had settled into the comfortable sofa in the great room and had spent the afternoon watching movies and getting caught up on her leisure reading, while she trudged through the woods with her dad, in search of geese to hunt. Due largely to her shrieks of horror every time her dad took aim at a bird, they had come home empty handed and she was fairly certain her dad wouldn't ask her to go hunting again.

Once they got back, the three of them played many rounds of _Scrabble _where, as predicted, the two women beat Dave each time. Between rounds, Erin did the prep work for a large batch of beef stew and, as a result, the three of them had had a wonderful dinner. As a bonus for Katie, instead of having the stew over bread, her mother had made a large batch of mashed potatoes, which was one of her favorite foods. That was why she hadn't immediately turned up her nose at the dessert Erin had set down in front of her.

"But dad," Katie argued softly. "Mom accidentally dropped a small piece of this stuff on the floor and _Mudgie _wouldn't eat it! I've seen Mudgie eat live bugs, but he won't even touch this!"

"Enough Katie," her dad whispered firmly. "Just eat a few bites and then politely tell her you're full."

"Fine," the teen huffed. She wiped the annoyed look off of her face as her mother re-joined them at the table. For a few minutes, everyone ate the questionable dessert quietly until Katie spoke again, this time in a normal tone of voice.

"It's kinda weird with just the three of us here," she remarked as she looked around the room. "I'm so used to having my sisters around…this trip is the first time where it's just been the three of us."

"I guess you're right," Erin told her. While she always missed her daughters while they were away, she was enjoying this one-on-one time with both Katie and Dave.

"What did you first notice about each other?" She asked her parents. She really wanted them to get together romantically and while she knew that asking too many questions might jeopardize things, she really wanted to know about their past as a couple.

"Erin's smile," Dave replied instantly. "Your mother's deep down, truly happy smile can light up a room."

"What about you, mom?" Katie pressed.

"Your father's eyes," Erin responded, a bit dreamily. "You can tell so much about him by gazing into his eyes." Katie privately agreed with that sentiment, but not in the way her mother meant it. No, she always looked at her dad's eyes as a way to read his mood, especially when she was in trouble. It was via his eyes that she could tell just how much trouble she was in.

"Where did you meet?" The teen asked.

"At a Bureau party," her mother told her. "They always hold a 'get to know you' party for each class of recruits the night before the first day of academy training and that's where your father and I met. As I recall, we shared quite a few dances that night."

"That we did," Dave agreed as a soft smile overtook his features.

"Did you ever love each other, or was it always just a fling between the two of you?"

"I can't answer for Erin," Dave told his daughter, "But I loved from the moment I first saw her."

"I loved your father too, Katie," her mother told her. "The timing was just…bad."

"What's with all of the questions, Belle?" Dave asked.

The teen shrugged as she played with her dessert some more. "I dunno, it's just kinda hard for me to ask these things with my sisters around so I thought I'd ask them now. I mean, I know I was a mistake and-"

"Hey!" Both of her parents yelled in unison, cutting off the rest of her sentence. The vehemence in both of their voices startled the teen and she looked up from her food to find two pairs of stormy eyes staring back at her.

"I don't EVER want to hear you refer to yourself as a mistake again, got it?" Erin said angrily.

"You were NOT a mistake, Kate Lynn," Dave said sternly.

Katie was taken aback at both of their reactions. "Oh, come on dad, it's okay, I get it; the last thing either of you wanted was a baby when you were together."

"What we wanted doesn't matter; the fact is that you were never, not for one single second, a mistake. You were a surprise, a wonderful surprise, understand?" He said gruffly. Did she really think that about herself?

"Whatever," she said, not believing him.

"NO, not _whatever,_" Erin said, moving closer to her so she could get in her face. "You are not leaving this table until you understand that the absolute _last _thing you are is a mistake; I don't care if we're here until the new year."

"Come on mom, _you _were the one who called me a complication," Katie shot back at her. "If that isn't code for mistake, then I don't know what is."

For the millionth time, Erin wished she could go back and change how she had behaved towards Katie during the time of Clara's bone marrow transplant, but she couldn't and she had to live with the consequences of that time. "First of all, I deeply regret ever having called you that," she told her daughter as she picked up her left hand and held it between both of hers. "I was out of my mind with fear over Clara's prognosis and I wasn't thinking straight; if I had been, I would have seen that you were a gift from God. You saved your sister's life, for goodness sake!"

"Fine," the teen said placatingly, knowing she had to agree with them if she ever wanted to leave the kitchen. While she felt reassured by her parent's words, deep down inside, she knew that her birth wasn't the joyous event that they wanted her to believe it was.

"Where is all of this coming from, Katie Belle?" Her dad asked in a gentler tone.

She shrugged, "I don't know, I guess all of this time alone with the two of you got me thinking."

"Well you thought wrong," Erin said vehemently.

"Okay, I'm sorry I brought it up. Can I go now? I want to jump in the shower."

"Go ahead," Dave said, still not 100% convinced that their daughter believed their words but he was unable to prove it. He knew both he and Erin would have to work hard to convince her that while she had been unexpected, she was not a mistake.

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Six hours later, Katie awoke to the sound of someone walking on the large balcony that wrapped around the second floor of the cabin. She glanced at the clock as she got out of bed and saw that it was nearly one o'clock in the morning. She grabbed her robe and stepped out into the cold night. To her surprise, she found her mother leaning against the railing as she stared out into the woods.

"Mom?"

"Katie!" Erin said with a gasp as she turned to face her daughter.

"What are you doing out here?" The teen asked as she came over and stood next to her.

"It's snowing!" Erin said as she turned back to face the woods. "Isn't it beautiful?" She asked as she wrapped her arm around her daughter's shoulders.

"It really is," Katie said in awe as she leaned against her mother. It was quiet and they could both hear the snow as it fell from the sky and landed on the snow that already blanketed the ground. They stayed like that until they heard a door open and shut behind them.

"I see we're all up late," Dave remarked as he took up position next to his daughter.

"It's snowing, dad!" Katie said excitedly, but Dave could tell that his daughter was tired.

"I can see that, Belle, but it's also about ten degrees out here, so unless we all want a dose of hypothermia, I suggest we all go back to our own bedrooms."

"Fine," she grumbled as she pulled away from her mom. While she wanted to stay outside to watch the snow fall, she was also really tired and going back to bed sounded like a very good idea to her. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight Katie," Erin said.

"Night Belle," Dave said as he watched her walk into her bedroom. He heard her door close and then moved closer to his one-time lover.

"It really is peaceful here Dave, thank you for inviting me."

"Anytime, Erin," he told her. "I was serious though, you can become hypothermic pretty quickly and I'm sure neither one of us wants that."

"No," she said with a sigh, "We sure don't." She turned away from the railing and walked the few steps to her bedroom door. "Goodnight Dave."

"Goodnight Erin," he replied back. And then, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, he leaned down and gave her a soft kiss on the lips.

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><p><em>AN 2: Sorry if the writing is a bit off in this chapter...I was hit with a major case of writer's block and I've been working on this story for over two weeks. That said, I promise the next chapter will be better. _


	6. Chapter 6

Crazy Thing Called Life-Chapter 6

**~Hey, be sure to check out the new challenges and threads at the Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum!**

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><p>Erin stayed close to Katie the next day and tried to reassure her, in as many ways as she could, that her existence was not a mistake but she could tell the teen didn't fully buy it. What sucked, as her daughters would say, was that Erin really didn't have a way to back up her words. If her life was a movie, she would go up to the attic and pull out a small box of things she kept to remind her of the daughter she had given away but she hadn't kept anything. Not only that, Katie had read the journal she'd kept while she was pregnant with her and it described how much she hadn't wanted her. What could she possibly do to counter all of that? She tried her best by spending time with her and making sure she felt loved, but she knew it wasn't enough.<p>

Dave did the same thing as Erin; whenever he had the chance, he tried to reassure Katie that she had always been wanted by someone. It didn't help that he felt like an ass because he was supposed to be an expert profiler but he'd had no clue that his daughter felt the way she did. He could get into the minds of serial killers but his own daughter, who he thought he knew better than anyone, remained a mystery to him.

While his daughter's words had taken precedence in his mind, the kiss he had given Erin was also vying for attention. It was a nice kiss…a gentle kiss and it had seemed like the right thing to do at the time, but once he had pulled away from her, she hadn't said anything, nor was anything said since; it was as if the kiss had never happened and he wasn't sure if he was grateful for that or disappointed.

Because the three of were spending so much time together, Tuesday went by quickly as did the first part of Wednesday and, before they knew it, they were at the airport picking up Ellen, Clara and Allie. Dave and Erin were able to use their credentials to get the three of them past the TSA checkpoints and they were able to meet the girls right at the gate.

"Do you see them?" Erin asked anxiously as she stood on her tiptoes in order to try to see her girls.

"No, but I'm sure-" The rest of Dave's comment was cutoff by a loud squeal.

"MOMMY!" Allison Strauss yelled as she stepped off of the jet way and into the terminal. She quickly raced over to where the three of them were waiting and launched herself into her mother's arms.

"Allie!" Erin responded back enthusiastically as she hugged her youngest daughter tightly.

"I missed you SO much, mommy!" Allie told her as she continued to cling to her. Erin looked over her youngest daughters shoulders and saw her other two daughters emerge from the plane looking tired.

"Hey mom," Ellen said and then, once she realized that Allie wouldn't be leaving her mother's arms any time soon, she went over to Katie and gave her a hug.

"Hey, how was the flight?" Katie asked as she embraced her older sister.

"Tiring," Ellen replied as she pulled away. "Grandpa thought it would be a good idea to give Allie a bunch of chocolate right before she got on the plane."

As he watched Allie run to her mom and Ellen approach her sister, Dave was surprised when Clara beelined it toward him and threw herself into his arms. "Dave!" She said happily.

"Hey sweetheart, how are you?" He asked as he hugged her back; he felt strangely happy to be included in the family moment.

"I'm good, but I missed you," she said, still hugging him. "Look at how tan I am!"

"You sure are!" he exclaimed as he broke the hug so he could stand back and look at her. "The California sun agrees with you."

At that moment, Allie seemed to remember that there were more people there other than her mother. "Dave! Katie!" She squealed as she leapt from her mother's arms into Dave's. For the next few minutes, hugs and greetings were exchanged all around…until Dave tried to hug Ellen and she backed away from him and gave him a fiery glare. 'Great,' Dave thought, 'She's still pissed at me for threatening her date.' He knew he had to smooth things over with her quickly before her mood ruined their holidays, he just wasn't sure how to do it.

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Over the next few hours, all everyone talked about was the Strauss girl's trip to California. They talked about it as they walked to the baggage claim, they discussed the various outings they had gone on with their grandparents while they waited for the many pieces of luggage to arrive. By the time they hit the SUV, Dave, Erin and Katie had heard about the girls' trip to Disney Land, Knott's Berry farm and Lego Land. On the way back to the cabin, they raved about the nice weather they'd had, the tans they'd gotten and all of the time they'd spent on the beach. No one else could get a word in edgewise, except for Erin who asked them various questions about their trip.

As he drove on the country highway, Dave stole small glances back at his daughter in the rearview mirror and when he saw the sad look on her face, he felt bad for her. She didn't see his glances since she was looking forlornly out the window but Erin did and when she took her own look into the back of the SUV, she also saw that her daughter was feeling left out but she wasn't sure what to do about it. On one hand, she knew it wouldn't be fair to her daughters to put an end to their excited chatter about their trip, but on the other, she didn't want Katie feeling left out of things. She finally decided to let the girls chatter on in the car and then she would attempt to change the subject at dinner.

The family arrived home to a very excited Mudgie. The lab went nuts over the Strauss girls, whom he hadn't seen in months, and to Katie it seemed that even her trusted dog was ignoring her. She made it through dinner, which was chili that her dad had cooked in the Crockpot all day, before finally she finally fibbed about having a headache and excused herself from the dinner table.

"Are you alright, Katie?" Erin asked as she turned away from her other three daughters, who were competing for her attention with their many stories about their west coast adventure.

'Like you really care,' Katie thought. Now that her mother had her 'real' daughters home, she didn't give a damn about her. "I'm fine, my head just hurts," she lied, wanting to keep the peace in the house.

"Do you need some Tylenol, Belle?" Dave asked from his position at the sink. He'd generously volunteered to do the dinner dishes so the girls could spend time with their mother.

"No!" She said sharply, "I just want to go to my room, _okay_?"

"If you're going to have that kind of attitude, maybe it's best that you _do_ go to your room; and maybe you should stay there until you can be nicer to everyone." The Strauss sisters took a break from their storytelling to watch Dave and Katie's argument.

"Fine, I don't want to stay down here anyway!" The teen said as her lower lip popped out in a pout.

"Good!" Dave shot back, "Then you can stay up there for the rest of the night! I want you in your pajamas and in bed by eight."

Katie, humiliated at having been sent to bed early like a naughty five year old, especially in front of her sisters, huffed loudly and then muttered under her breath as she left the room. Dave was about to say something else to her but he saw Erin shaking her head slightly out of the corner of his eye, so he remained quiet as his daughter stormed up the stairs to the second floor.

After he finished washing the dishes, he grabbed the pan of peanut butter brownies that Erin had made earlier in the day and set them on the table, ignoring the icy glare that Ellen shot his way. As expected with four females, they descended on the dessert like a pack of wild wolves; it was all he could do to get one for both himself and his daughter. Once he had finished his bar, he put the other one on a plate and got up from the table. Erin's voice stopped him as he was about to leave the room.

"Dave," she began, but before she could continue, he held up his free hand to stop her.

"I'm just going up there to talk to her," he pledged as he caught yet another dirty look from the oldest Strauss girl; along with Katie, he knew he'd have to make peace with Ellen if he had any hope for a merry Christmas.

"Good," Erin said. "Just remember she's had some long days and she's at that age."

"I will," he promised and then left the kitchen and made his way to the second floor. Once there, he proceeded down the hallway and stopped in front of his daughter's door. Taking a deep breath in order to gear up for a possible battle, he knocked gently on the door.

"It's me, Belle; can I come in?"

"Sure," was the morose answer he received. He opened the door and found Katie curled up in her bed, facing the wall.

"I brought you a brownie," he told her as he set the plate down on her night table and then sat down on the edge of her bed.

"Not hungry," she said into her pillow.

Dave snorted, "_You're _not hungry for Erin's famous peanut butter brownies? I think this signifies the beginning of the apocalypse! What's next? Garcia dressing all in black? Hotch actually cracking a smile? Clara snapping at someone?" His attempt to use levity to ease her out of her rotten mood worked and she turned over and gave him a slight smile.

"I don't think it's the _actual _end of the world until Reid doesn't know the answer to a question," the teen responded as she sat up against her headboard. She silently removed the brownie from the plate and took a big bite.

"It's hard being left out of things, huh?" Dave asked sympathetically.

Katie nodded as she chewed and swallowed. "I wish we could've gone somewhere," she told him wistfully and he felt like an ass. How hard would it have been for the two of them to go down to Disney World for a few days? Hadn't she been begging him to go since she'd seen the _Beauty and the Beast _re-make? But between his and Erin's workloads and the holidays…well, it just hadn't worked out. As he sat there and watched her silently chew the chocolatey bar, he vowed that the next time the Strauss girls visited one of their father's relatives, they would make the journey to the happiest place on earth.

"It would've been nice," he agreed as he mentally berated himself, "But we had fun here, didn't we?" He was expecting a half-hearted shrug so he was surprised when Katie nodded enthusiastically.

"We did! I had a great time hanging out with you and mom, I just got tired of hearing about how great their trip was…I mean, that's all they talked about tonight! I wanted to tell them about some of the stuff we did, but I couldn't even get one word into their conversation!"

"I know, but they were excited about it and they wanted to share their experiences with us; I'm sure everything will be back to normal by tomorrow."

Katie nodded, "You're probably right," she agreed and then looked at him hesitantly. "I'm sorry I was so nasty to you tonight."

He ruffled her hair as he took the empty plate from her, "It's okay honey, I understand and if you can be in a better mood, I'll rescind your eight o'clock bedtime for tonight."

"I'll be nice," she promised.

"It would also be nice if you apologized to your mother for your behavior."

Katie shrugged, "I suppose, although she probably didn't notice what I was doing now that she has her real daughters back."

Dave was about respond to that but he was beaten to the punch by a feminine voice from the doorway.

"Kate Lynn Rossi, _what_ did you just say?" Erin asked as she strode angrily into the room. She pretty much ignored Dave as she sat down on the other side of her daughter's bed and he was glad for it as she looked angrier than he'd ever seen her.

"I just…I just…" the teen trailed off helplessly; this was a new experience for her. Sure she'd annoyed her mother and pissed her off in the past, but she had never experienced actual anger from her. Until now. She looked at her dad for help but he just held up his hands as he got up from the bed and walked backwards toward the door.

"You're on your own, kid," he told her. "I do _not _deal with a pissed off Erin Strauss."

"So much for being a protective father," Katie mumbled, knowing that she'd really made her mother mad with the 'real daughters' comment, but she couldn't help how she felt.

Dave didn't respond to her remark, he just stepped out of the room and shut the door behind him. As he went down the steps to the first floor, he could hear yelling coming from his daughter's room and he knew he would hear about it from her the next day, but right now he had bigger fish to fry.

He found the Strauss girls in the kitchen, washing the dessert dishes. "I don't know," Clara said. "They seem closer, but Dave _did_ go out on a date right before we left. What if he-"

"Do you _mind_?" Ellen asked snottily as she spotted Dave in the doorway. "This is a private conversation."

"Sorry," he said as he came fully into the room. "I was just coming to see if you wanted to take a walk with me. It's snowing out and the property is really pretty at night." That wasn't the only reason, or even the main reason he wanted to walk with her. No, he wanted to work things out with her before it spilled over into their holiday plans.

Ellen snorted rudely. "Are you insane? It's colder than a witch's tit out there!"

"First of all, watch your mouth," he admonished. "Second, I'm sorry if I made it sound like you have a choice, because you don't, so get your jacket on and let's go."

The teen shook her head forcefully. "No, I'm not going so just leave me alone."

Dave counted to ten in his head before speaking again. "Don't forget your hat and gloves," he told her and then turned toward the other two Strauss girls. "Your mom is upstairs talking to Katie; can you keep an eye on Allie until she comes back down?" He asked Clara, who nodded wide-eyed.

"Screw you Dave; there is no way in hell I'm going out in the freezing cold just so you can lecture me about the guys I choose to date."

"I'm going to give you one more warning about your language, one more slip and you'll be sucking on a bar of soap," he growled.

"Whatever," the teen answered back with a roll of her eyes, "Like mom would let you do that."

"Do you really think your mother would stop me?" He asked rhetorically. "Why don't you go up and ask her?" At that moment, Erin's loud and angry voice carried down to their location and Ellen knew it was not the time to look to her mother for sympathy.

"Fine," the teen snapped, realizing she had no other choice than to go out in the cold weather with the man she was still pissed at. She set her dishtowel down and stomped off toward the front foyer so she could get all of her winter gear on.

"Are you two going to be okay until your mom comes down?" Dave asked Clara. The ten year old nodded her head and Dave joined Ellen in the foyer and also put on his cold weather gear. Once he was ready, he held the front door open for the teen and watched as she stalked out. Taking a deep breath, he followed.

The two of them walked down one of the trails that led to the creek. It was a tense walk and Dave tried to relieve some of the stress by pointing out a few of the constellations in the clear, winter sky. After about ten minutes of both stargazing and walking, Ellen had had enough. She stopped dead in her tracks and turned to face him.

"Are we out here for a reason, or did you drag me from the warm cabin in order to give me an astronomy lesson?" She asked snidely.

"I brought you out here so we can work out our differences without your sisters and mother interfering," Dave told her. "I know you're still angry with me for interfering with your relationship with your boyfriend, but-"

"Interfering?" Ellen asked in disbelief. "Is that what we're calling it now? Because most people would call what you did a threat, not 'interfering'!"

"Ellen," Dave began, but the girl kept talking.

"You completely humiliated me! Do you really think that what you did wouldn't get out? All of my friends knew that you threatened Edward, they all knew that he was afraid to even touch me! You also really scared him with your intimidation; what if he breaks up with me? What if he decides that I'm not worth having a psycho, Italian, FBI agent gunning for him? Do you even care that I really like him?"

"Of course I do but I'm not going sit by and just let some random guy take you out without talking to him first," Dave fired back.

"You make it sound like you have some kind of stake in my life, but you don't! You're not my father which means you don't have the right to do _anything_ in my life, so just stay out of it!"

"That's _not_ going to happen, Ellen," Dave said firmly. "I may not be your father, but I care about you too much to let you go out with a guy without talking to him first. Did I overstep my bounds? Maybe, but like it or not you're part of my family now and I _always _watch out for my family! And if you think this is the only time I'm going to 'talk' to one of your boyfriends, then you're dreaming; as long as I'm still breathing I'll always check out anyone who wants to take you out on a date! I love you too much to let you walk into a dangerous situation." He'd expected her to start screaming at him, but instead, she looked up at him with a confused look on her face.

"You…you care about me?" She asked in a soft voice.

"Of course I do," Dave replied, as if she was crazy for even asking such a question. "That's why I put the fear of God into Edward; I wouldn't have done that if I didn't love you." To his surprise, tears sprung to the teen's eyes and she quickly turned away from him. "What? Did I say something wrong?"

"No, it's fine," she said in a strained voice. Dave, having raised a daughter for fourteen years, knew the difference between fine and _fine_ and Ellen Strauss was anything but fine.

"Ellen, talk to me; what's the matter?" He asked as he gripped her arm and gently spun her toward him. Once he did, he saw that a few tears had spilled over and were sliding down her face.

"No one, other than my mother and sisters, has ever told me they loved me before," she said in a small voice. "Even my own father never said those words to me."

Dave was caught between a rock and a hard place; Timothy Strauss had both physically and psychologically hurt Erin and his daughter while he'd kept them captive for a day and he had NOTHING nice to say about the man. In fact, he wanted to tell Ellen that he thought her father had been a talking pile of pigshit but he knew it wouldn't help in this situation. No, what the girl needed right now was reassurance and in order to do that, he would have to hold his tongue about her dead father. "Ellen, I'm sure your dad loved you."

She shook her head forcefully, "No, he never said it, _ever. _I think he liked the _idea_ of us and I'm sure the 'family man' image helped him in his career, but he didn't love us…hell, I don't think he even _liked_ any of us, if he did he never could've hurt mom and Katie."

"Ellen, your dad was sick when he did that."

"Whatever," she said, shaking her head. "Katie lucked out when she got you as a dad."

Dave snorted, "I'm sure there have been _many _times when she would've disagreed with you about that," he said. "And I'm sure there will be many times in the future as well, especially since she'll be dating in a few years and, just like with you, I'll be interrogating her potential suitors to within an inch of their lives."

"You're just not going to back off, are you?" Ellen asked as some of her anger came back.

"Nope," Dave replied, unapologetically. "I'll make you a deal, though; if you let me meet the guys who want to take you out _before_ they take you out, I won't show up unannounced at their school or places of work. Deal?"

"You'd actually show up at school to terrorize them?" The teen asked in horror.

Dave nodded, "You bet I would; I would do that and a lot more to keep you safe."

She knew she should be mad at him for trying to control her life but she was still really moved by the fact that, even though she wasn't his daughter, he still loved her like one…that was the only reason she didn't start arguing with him again. "Okay," she agreed with a sigh. "I guess that's the best I'm going to get from you."

"It is," he said with a smile as he pulled her toward him and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "What do you say we head back before we both freeze to death? I'll make my world-famous hot chocolate to warm us up." Ellen nodded in agreement with his plans and they started back toward the cabin, but this time it was a happier walk.


	7. Chapter 7

_This Crazy Thing Called Life-Chapter 7_

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><p>While Dave and Ellen were making peace out in the cold, snowy night, Erin and Katie were battling it out in her bedroom. For Katie, this was a new experience. Sure, she'd annoyed her mother before and they'd had small arguments, but this was the first time Erin was truly angry with her and she wasn't quite sure how to react to it. She finally decided that honesty was the best policy. Was it a shitty thing she'd said? Yeah, but she really didn't feel like a true Strauss daughter and she'd said it to her dad in relative privacy, so it's not like she'd shouted it in her mother's face, she overheard it, so this argument really wasn't her fault, right?<p>

As soon as Dave scuttled out of the room like a rat deserting a sinking ship, Erin stood up from her daughter's bed and began pacing. "I don't know how many different times and in how many different ways I can say this, but you ARE a real daughter to me! Do you want me to apologize again for my actions a year ago?" She asked, her voice growing louder with each word. "Fine, I'm sorry! I am deeply sorry for how I acted towards you! But whether you realize it or not, you ARE my daughter, you are my 'real' daughter and I won't have you saying otherwise. Do it again and there WILL be consequences!"

"Well God mom, I'm sorry for having my own feelings; I guess I'll hide them from now on!"

"You know that's not what I want!" Erin shot back loudly. "I just wonder if you know how much it hurts when I hear you say things like that! And it doesn't just hurt me; it hurts your sisters as well. We've spent enough time together over this last year that I thought you knew how important you are to me and to this family!"

"I didn't mean to hurt you, but I can't help how I feel!" Katie yelled, as she jumped up to her feet to face her mother, who by this time had stopped pacing and simply towered over her. "You and dad always want me to tell you what I'm feeling but now that you know, you're angry and upset. I can't win! God, why did I have to be born to a couple of profilers?" While she didn't use the skills much since she wasn't active out in the field, Erin had taken the profiling courses and she could hold her own in reading her children's behaviors. "You, Clara, Ellen and Allie are all together during the week, whereas I maybe get to see you on the weekends and when dad goes out of town. Plus, they've been in your lives since they were born but I _just_ became a part of it, so do you maybe understand why I sometimes feel like I'm not a 'real' daughter to you?"

Erin realized she had a point; while she and Katie were growing closer, she was still a relative newcomer to her life and she _was _only with them part of the time and maybe that was the problem. "So what are you saying?" She asked her daughter much more calmly. "Do you want to move in full-time with us?" She knew Dave would never, in a million years, allow that, but the question had to be asked.

"No," Katie responded and Erin breathed a mental sigh of relief; it wasn't that she didn't want her daughter with her full-time, she simply knew Katie would be better off with her father. "Not really, I just wish I felt like I was more a part of things with you guys! Whenever I spend time with all of you, I have to get caught up on everything and there are trips I can't go on with my sisters, and you all have your own memories and it just all got to be too much tonight!" Katie was in tears by the end of her tirade, so Erin put her arm around her, sat down on the bed with her and let her cry on her shoulder.

"I know it's rough, honey, and we'll figure something out, okay? I'm not quite sure how, but it'll happen." She promised, as the teen sniffled loudly.

"Don't worry about it," Katie told her as she wiped her face with the back of her hand, "I know you love me and I know it's just the way things are; I think part of my feelings tonight are because I'm PMSing really badly."

"Your period is due soon?"

Katie nodded, "It arrived this afternoon."

"Bad cramps?" Erin asked, concerned.

"Yeah, really bad," Katie responded with a small smile; this was what she loved about having her mom and sisters around, she _never _would have told her dad she was PMSing and he sure as _heck _wouldn't have inquired about cramps and stuff like that. It was nice to be able to talk about girl stuff without wanting to die of embarrassment.

"Why don't you change into your pj's while I go get you some ibuprofen?"

Katie nodded and moved toward her dresser. Even though her dad had rescinded her early bedtime, she knew better than to cross her mother so soon after pissing her off. "I really am sorry, mom," she said as she grabbed her comfy, flannel pajamas out of the top drawer. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"I know, sweetie," she said as she kissed her forehead. "Don't worry, we'll figure this out somehow." With that, she moved to the door and left the room to get the medicine for her daughter. As she was making her way down to the first floor, she was surprised when the door opened and her daughter and Dave walked in. She was even more surprised to see the two of them smiling and laughing.

"Hey mom. Dave is going to make his wonderful hot chocolate for everyone tonight," Ellen said excitedly, but Erin could see the exhaustion in her eyes.

"Honey, you look really tired; how about we save the hot chocolate for tomorrow night and you go up to bed?" She suggested.

Ellen thought for a minute and then nodded, "You're right, Allie was a bundle of energy on the plane and I could use some sleep."

"Do me a favor? Bring Katie some ibuprofen."

"No problem," Ellen told her.

"Thanks. Allie and Clara are in their room watching a Disney movie; can you check on them for me too?" Erin asked and her daughter nodded.

"I will. Goodnight you guys."

"Night Ellen," Dave said, glad that their argument was over.

"Goodnight honey," Erin said. She watched her daughter climb the stairs and she waited to hear hers and Katie's bedroom door shut before she turned to Dave and said, "We need to talk."

Dave mentally sighed; it seemed all he had done that night was talked to irritated females, although why Erin seemed miffed at him, he didn't know. As he followed her to the sofa, he racked his brains for what he might have done to her and the light bulb finally turned on as he thought back to their kiss a few nights previous. Still, he tried to play dumb.

"How did it go with Katie?" He asked conversationally.

"Fine, although we need to talk about a few things at a later time. No, right now we need to talk about us. About what happened the other night. About the kiss we shared," she told him as he looked at her with an infuriatingly blank look on his face.

"Ah, the kiss," he finally said. "What about it?"

"What does it mean?" She asked, exasperated. "Was it a one-time thing? Do you want something more? Was it because-"

"Erin, I think we both realize that whatever we have together has moved past a simple friendship, past a co-parenting relationship. It's changed back into something that we're both familiar with."

"Actually David, I _wasn't _under that impression, at least not until you kissed me and even then I wasn't too sure since you didn't seem to want to talk about it!"

"Okay, first of all, you sure as _hell_ did know that," he said testily. "I don't know if you remember this Erin, but I read people for a living and I've picked up on the signals you've been sending out."

"David, I-"

"Was I wrong?" He asked, gentler this time. "If you can honestly tell me that I've misread the situation, I'll go back to being your friend and pseudo father to your kids."

Erin really wanted to tell him that his profiling skills had let him down…she wanted to tell him that she didn't think of him romantically, that she was perfectly fine to remain friends for the rest of their lives. The problem was, she _didn't _think that way; she wanted something more but was confused about it.

"You weren't wrong," she confessed softly, not looking at him. "I nearly died when I heard you were going out with another woman last week."

"Why didn't you say something?"

"Because I wasn't sure if I should act on my feelings; hell, I'm _still _not sure! You and I, David, we tried it once and we didn't work. I can't go through another breakup with you, not now, not when we have kids involved."

"I know it's a big risk, and I'll be the first to admit that I'm not 100% sure this is a good idea, but…" He trailed off.

"But what?" Erin asked, intrigued at the normally self-assured and well-spoken David Rossi at a loss for words.

He took a deep breath; it was time to lay all of the cards on the table. "But I'm falling in love with you again, Erin, and I think we owe it to ourselves to try again."

"A large part of me wants to," she admitted, "But a larger part of me doesn't want to get hurt again. You have a somewhat sordid past with women, Dave."

"I know I do," he admitted somewhat sheepishly, "And I can't change my past, but I can say that after Janet's death I went on kind of a bender. I know that's not an excuse, especially considering I had a ten year old daughter at the time, but I was looking for someone who would fill the void in my life…I was looking for someone like you."

"Really?"

Dave nodded, "Really. Look, I know that I am a hell of a bad risk, and we have a lot at stake here, but-"

"We _do _have a lot at stake here," she agreed, getting back to the main issue. "This isn't just about us; we have four girls to think about."

"I know that but I think it's because of them that we'll be able to remain friends even if a romantic relationship doesn't work out between us. We did this once before and we were able to maintain a functional relationship, and now that we have kids involved, I think a post-breakup relationship would be more than civil."

"I don't know, Dave. I want to try, really I do, it's just-"

"I'm not going to pressure you, Erin; I'm not that guy anymore. Think it over and if you want to pursue something with me, just let me know, okay?"

"Okay Dave," Erin said softly.

"Well then," Dave said as he stood up. "On that note, I think I'll go to bed. Goodnight Erin." He took two steps before he felt a hand on his back and he turned back to face her. "Erin, what are-" the rest of his words were cut off as her mouth crashed against his in a passionate kiss.

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The next morning, Alison Strauss woke up to the sound of the wind whistling through the forest outside. It was a new and scary sound to her and she wanted her mommy to make it all better, so she jumped from her bed and ran down the hallway to her mother's bedroom. Her fright caused all of her mother's rules to fly out of her head and, instead of knocking on the door, Allie burst into the room. To her great surprise, her mother was not alone in her bed; no, Dave was in there too and they didn't have any clothes on! She was about to wake both of them when she heard her sisters downstairs in the kitchen, so she decided to join them instead. She closed the door behind her and took off for the steps.

"Mmmm, what was that?" Erin asked as she was pulled from her sleep…her very comfortable sleep as she had a 175 pound heating pad underneath her head and chest.

"What was what?" Dave mumbled as he tried to cling to the last vestiges of sleep. The previous night's activities had lasted well into the wee hours of morning and he knew he would need all the sleep he could get in order to face the day.

"Dammit, it sounded like the bedroom door closing," Erin told him as she sat up. "Shit, do you think one of the girls saw us?"

"Dunno and don't care," he said sleepily as he pulled her back down to him. "It is _way_ too early in the morning for one of our kids to be up and around so go back to sleep."

Erin struggled out of his clutches and reached for her phone on the bedside table. "It's _not_ too early," she told him as she shoved the phone in his face. "It's nine o'clock in the morning and both Clara and Allie are usually up by that time. And with Ellen being jet-lagged and Katie going to bed early last night, it could have been any one of them!" By the end of her rant, Erin's voice had become unnaturally high-pitched with panic. It didn't help that her lover didn't share the same feeling.

"So what if it was one of them?" He asked with a shrug as he joined her in a sitting position. "Would it really be so bad if they found out about us? Were you planning on keeping this from them?"

"No, of course I wanted us to tell them, I just didn't want them finding out by walking in on us naked!"

While Dave was trying to calm Erin down upstairs, the four girls were discussing them in the kitchen.

"What are you guys doing?" Allie asked her sisters as she skipped into the kitchen. The other three girls were busy doing things at each of the counters.

"We're cooking breakfast for everyone," Ellen responded. "Wanna help?"

"Sure!" Allie replied excitedly, happy that she wasn't going to be left out.

Katie pulled a chair up to the counter, helped Allie stand on it and then handed her a stack of bread slices. "You're in charge of making toast, okay?"

"'Kay," the little girl responded. For the next ten minutes it was largely quiet in the kitchen as each girl worked on their assigned breakfast task. Finally, as Ellen prepared to pour the beaten eggs into the hot frying pan, Allie spoke up again. "Why did Dave sleep with mommy last night?"

"WHAT?" Three voices exclaimed simultaneously.

"Ellen, the eggs!" Clara said as she moved quickly to her sister's side and righted the bowl that had tipped precariously downward in her hand.

"Mom and Dave were in bed together?" Ellen asked as the three of them advanced on their youngest sister for more information. "Were they sleeping, or doing something else?"

"What else would they be doing in bed?" Allie asked, confused. She knew she sometimes jumped on her bed, but her mom usually put a stop to that pretty quickly. "Mommy was nekkid though…I don't know if Dave was."

"Mom was _naked_?" Katie asked loudly and then clamped both hands over her mouth. The absolute last thing she wanted was for her parents to walk in on this conversation.

Allie nodded, wide-eyed; she hadn't known this would be such a big deal. "Uh huh, her head and top part was lying on Dave's chest and they were both sleeping."

All three of the older girls just stared at her for a moment and then let out simultaneous squeals. Erin and Dave, who had just made their way to the first floor, stopped for a moment.

"I'm not sure, but I think they already know," Erin said sarcastically. "None of our girls can keep anything to themselves for very long."

"Well, we're going to have to face the music sometime, it might as well be now," he told her with a smirk. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him and she gallantly resisted the urge to elbow him in his ribs.

"This isn't funny David!" She insisted. "One of the kids _saw _us! What if they don't want this to happen? What if they react badly to our new relationship? What if I traumatized one of them for life by flashing my boobs at them? What if-"

"Stop with the 'what ifs,' Erin," he commanded, barely able to contain his laughter at her last thought, "You're going to drive yourself crazy. We are two consenting adults, so I suggest that we walk into that room with our heads held high. Agreed?"

"I must be crazy for agreeing to _any _of this," she mumbled, "But yes, I agree." And the two of them did just that; they walked into the kitchen as though nothing was out of the ordinary. Unfortunately, their façade lasted for all of about three seconds or, in other words, it crumbled as they walked in and the entire room went dead silent.

The eerie silence lasted for almost ten seconds as the girls stared at their parents and Erin and Dave stared back at them. Then, all at once, the girls let loose a volley of questions.

"How long have you two been together?" That was Ellen.

"You always told me that only married mommies and daddies should share a bed; how come you were in one with Dave?" Both Dave and Erin blushed at Clara's question.

"What happens if you guys break up?" Katie asked, worried about her tenuous place in the family.

"How come you and Dave were nekkid, mommy?" Allie asked innocently. "Did you get hot last night?"

"I knew I heard something last night, I just didn't quite know what it was!" That was Ellen again.

"Shouldn't you-"

"Enough!" Dave said loudly as he cut his daughter off mid-sentence; hell, he'd been at Congressional investigations that were less brutal than this!

"So as you may have guessed, Dave and I have decided to pursue a romantic relationship," Erin said, somewhat unnecessarily.

"Yeah, we heard it from Allie," Ellen said with a smirk and Erin immediately knew which daughter it was that had seen her and Dave sleeping together.

"Are you kids okay with it?" Dave asked seriously. "Because if you're not, then your mom and I won't go any further, we'll simply remain good friends."

"You two would do that for us?" Katie asked, surprised. A year after her mom died, her dad had a whirlwind romance with a woman half his age and they had married. Katie couldn't stand the woman, and she'd begged him not to marry her, but he married her anyway. The marriage lasted less than six months but Katie had never forgotten the way he had refused to break up with woman at her urging, which was why she was so surprised that he was taking their feelings into consideration now.

"We would," he said firmly, also thinking of his ill-fated marriage. He would always feel bad for that one; Stephanie had treated his daughter horribly while they were together and he should have listened to her when she begged him not to marry her.

The three Strauss girls enthusiastically gave their approval of the relationship, but Katie hesitated. "What is it, Belle?" Her dad asked.

"I'm just scared of what will happen if you guys break up."

"We'll always be a family, Katie," Erin responded. "I promise that if things between me and your father don't work out, we'll still go on family outings and spend time together. Okay?"

Katie thought for a moment. Sure, she'd been hoping for months that her birth mother and her father would get together, but now that it had happened she wasn't too sure about things. They could promise that things wouldn't change if they broke up, but she remembered the animosity between her dad and her bitch of a stepmother after they divorced; even now they only spoke to each other when it was absolutely necessary. Still, it had been a long time since she'd seen her dad this happy and she could see her mom was practically glowing with happiness, not to mention all three of her sisters would kill her if she blocked this relationship. With that in mind, she slowly nodded her head.

"I'm happy for you both," she said sincerely.

"I'm pretty happy for us too, honey," Dave said with a grin as relief flooded over him. He'd meant what he had said before, if Katie had been seriously against the relationship, he would have backed off, but he was glad he didn't have to.

"Why don't the four of you get washed up for breakfast?" Erin suggested, changing the subject. "Dave and I will finish making breakfast." Four heads nodded and suddenly the kitchen was deserted.

"That went better than I thought it would," Dave said happily as he pulled Erin into his arms and dropped a kiss onto her lips.

"It really did," she agreed as he pulled out of his arms and started cooking the eggs. "But my discussion with Ellen, Katie, and Clara isn't over yet." She caught Dave's confused look and smiled wryly. "I'm going to have to talk to the three of them about safe sex and about not following the horrible example I set for them this morning."

"I'll watch Allie for you while you do that," he laughed. "That's one of the best things about having you in Katie's life; I no longer have to have those kinds of horrifying talks with her."

"Yeah, right," she said as she transferred the eggs into a large serving bowl. "I'm sure you foisted _that _particular duty onto Haley or Penelope Garcia."

"I usually did," he admitted sheepishly, "But back when Katie was twelve, she accidentally picked up a copy of _Playboy_ that I had lying around, which I was using for a case," he quickly defended himself. "Anyway, it opened to a particularly steamy photo shoot and it led to some questions that I had to answer. Anyway, since Haley was out of town, I used the questions as a jumping off point for a discussion about the birds and the bees. Let's just say it was an uncomfortable discussion."

"Well, get used to it," she told him. "Because next time _you're _giving them the talk from the male perspective." With that, Erin headed for the bathroom, leaving Dave in a horrified silence.


	8. Chapter 8

_This Crazy Thing Called Life-Chapter 8  
><em>

**~THE AWARDS SEASON HAS COMMENCED! Nominations have opened for the third annual Profiler's Choice Awards for Criminal Minds' fandom! Please visit Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum for the nomination ballot, rules and guidelines and category definitions. Please review all of the information and rules before submitting your nomination ballot. Ilovetvalot, Tonnie2001969, and HxChick are NOT eligible for ANY awards.**

* * *

><p>The holiday season went by quickly for both families. Dave, who was not used to spending so much time in such close quarters with five other females, had worried about keeping his sanity while at the cabin with them, but things went fairly smoothly. Sure, Katie and Clara had gotten into a huge argument over which Christmas cookie recipe should be used and they actually had to be sent to their separate rooms to cool off before agreeing to make batches with each recipe but after that, everything went well. On Christmas Eve day, they'd all trekked out to the forest behind the cabin and, after much discussion, the perfect tree was found, cut down and dragged back to the house. Somehow, that particular 'family job' had turned into his and his alone, but it wasn't a huge tree so he was able to handle it. Christmas Day had dawned bright and sunny it had been a day filled with gifts, eating and relaxing and it was one of the nicest Christmases any of them had ever had.<p>

After the holidays, life resumed for all of them; the girls returned to the drudgery of school while Dave and Erin returned to work, refreshed from their mini-Christmas break. The two of them discussed Katie's feelings of not fully feeling like a Strauss daughter and they agreed that she would spend every other Wednesday night at the Strauss house and they made more of an effort to have her spend more weekend time with her mother and sisters as well. One way they did that was to have Saturday date nights. Dave would bring Katie over to Erin's house on Saturday evenings, pick Erin up and then Katie and her sisters would spend the night together. Since Ellen had a boyfriend, whom Dave had finally met properly, Katie ended up babysitting a lot but she didn't mind too much because even though she loved her younger sisters, Dave gave her ten bucks every night she did it, although if Ellen was home, she got the ten dollars. Also, her parents usually let her invite her best friend Kayla over to the house when she was babysitting, so she had a lot of fun, as did her sisters.

After their dates, Dave usually stayed the night at Erin's place but, knowing they had to set an example for their kids, he slept on the living room couch. Okay, he started out on the couch but he usually snuck up to Erin's room after the girls were asleep. Both he and Erin were mindful of the faux pas they had committed at the cabin with their kids, so they always made sure to be quiet in their lovemaking and they also triple locked the bedroom door before starting anything. Then, afterwards, Dave would sneak back down to the sofa where he fell into a satisfied slumber. On Sunday mornings, he would either make brunch for everyone, or he would take them all out to eat and it gave Katie more time with her mother and sisters.

Both Erin and Dave found it weird, at first, to be back in a romantic relationship with each other. Their first few dates had been awkward without the girls there to focus on but, after a few romantic dinners they were able to talk about things other than work and their kids. Once that happened, they quickly re-discovered the passion they had felt for each other many years ago. Dave loved getting to know Erin on a romantic level again as he had for gotten just how loving and passionate she was and, fortunately, she shared that passion with him. Unfortunately, both of them had felt the repercussions of their relationship at work. Dave had gotten a rash of shit from his team members, and he'd had to swear that he would not turn into Strauss's mole, but other than that his team was happy for him and they all promised to try to get to know their Section Chief a little better since she was an important fixture in his life. While the repercussions for Dave were minor and off the record, Erin faced more intense scrutiny and questions from the higher ups and she was warned about problems that might come if she and Dave ever broke up but, for the most part, they were left alone to enjoy themselves.

If Dave had known just how badly things were about to get, he would have appreciated the happiness a bit more.

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It was a sunny day in late January when Dave's world began to crumble beneath him. It had been his turn to get the team's lunch from the deli near work and he'd been waiting in line, mentally planning his upcoming date with Erin in his mind, when his cell phone rang. He glanced at the caller ID and was surprised when it popped up with the name 'John.' With a sigh, he answered it. "Rossi."

"Dave, it's John; we need to talk."

"John, I'm back at the FBI, so I really can't-"

"Rossi, meet me at the usual place at six tonight," the man on the other end of the line said curtly before he hung up.

Dave sighed again and shook his head slightly; he would have to rearrange dinner with his daughter, but he knew he needed to make it to the mysterious meeting.

xxxxxxxxxx

At six o'clock that evening, Dave walked into a dimly lit bar and immediately saw the man he was supposed to meet sitting at a booth near the back. He quickly slid into the opposite seat.

"John," he said with a nod.

"Dave," the other man greeted him. "I took the liberty of ordering a Talisker scotch for you."

"Thanks," he said, taking a sip as he studied the man sitting across from him. John, whose last name he didn't know, worked for the CIA and he was someone Dave got to know during his retirement from the FBI. When Katie was two years old, Dave had published his first book and it made enough money where he could retire from the bureau and still bring in enough income to support his family. While writing was rewarding for him, every once in awhile he got the itch to go back into the field and that's where John came into the picture.

John worked for the CIA and had approached Dave about doing an off the record, top secret consultation three years after he'd retired. With his wife's blessing, Dave had temporarily returned to field work and profiling, this time for CIA. While he'd enjoyed his two weeks in the field, he had been more than happy to return home to his wife and daughter safe and sound. After that, he assisted the CIA every few years and it was just enough to keep his skills sharp and his adrenaline pumping. Sitting across from his friend, he began to get a bad feeling in his gut and he suddenly wished his wife had put up a fight about him consulting for The Agency.

"How are things?" John inquired politely. "Katie must be what? Thirteen? Fourteen?"

"Fourteen," Dave affirmed. "John, what's this all about? I'm back at the BAU now, so if this is about a job-"

"It's not about a job, Dave, it's about Dmitri Lazlov."

Just the mention of that name made Dave's blood run cold. His last job for the CIA had lasted over three weeks and it had involved profiling and tracking the Russian mobster Dmitri Lazlov. Dave had met some ruthless and evil people in his life, but Lazlov was one of the few who had actually scared him. The man took pleasure in torturing and killing anything and everyone who got in his way and it was his profile that had eventually led to the man's capture. Dave and his CIA team had interrogated Lazlov for a full week but was unable to get any information from him, other than threats against their lives. The CIA had finally turned the evil man over to the Russian government in a very secretive and unofficial fashion and, as far as Dave knew, he was still imprisoned there.

"What about Lazlov?" Dave asked, throwing the rest of his scotch back in a large shot.

"He broke out of prison," John told him.

There was a silence and then Dave reacted. "WHAT? How the _fuck_ did that happen? The Russian government assured us he would never see the light of day again!" In his head, he mentally cataloged where all of the members of his family were at the moment, starting with his daughter who he hoped was safely ensconced in their townhouse.

"He was in a high level, secret Gulag in a remote part of Siberia, Dave! No one has ever broken out of there and lived to tell about it…until now," John said grimly.

"Maybe he didn't make it," Dave suggested, shaken by the news of the madman's escape.

"Oh, he made it; our satellites show that his goons broke him out using armored helicopters."

Dave paled further. "We have to warn the rest of the team, John." The team he worked with at the CIA was nothing like the one at the BAU; they were not close and he hadn't kept in contact with any of them, but they deserved to know about the escape.

John shook his head. "That's not necessary, Dave."

"What the fuck do you mean it's not necessary? It sure as hell IS necessary!" Dave exploded. "For Christ's sake, John! Dmitri Lazlov swore revenge on everyone who had anything to do with the case! Of course we need-"

"We don't have to warn them because they're all dead," John said quietly. "We're the only two left."

* * *

><p><em>AN 2: I know that I was somewhat following canon in 'Family Ties,' but I'm not in this story. In this 'verse, the whole thing with Emily and Ian Doyle never happened, but you'll see a similar storyline with Dave._


	9. Chapter 9

_This Crazy Thing Called Life-Chapter 9_

**~Thanks for all of the reviews, they keep me motivated!**

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><p>Dave's blood ran cold at his friend's news. "What do you mean they're all dead?"<p>

"Exactly what I said; everyone who was on the team that took Dmitri Lazlov down has been killed."

"Why in the hell didn't you tell me before now?" Dave exploded. "I have a daughter, I have a family! Did it ever occur to you that I might need to protect them?"

"No one connected the dots until now, Dave," John told him. "I'm not in contact with them anymore, so it's not like I was in the loop when it happened. Plus, you know The Agency; everyone is so paranoid they barely talk to anyone."

"How did you find out?"

"I was going to tap Anna for a job on my current team when I was told she was dead. That, coming so soon after Dmitri escaped, got my antennae up and I investigated the rest of the team. By the time I got through all of the secrecy, I found out that Steve was hit by a car while vacationing in Jamaica, Bob had been assigned to Egypt and was killed during an uprising in Cairo, and Tyler simply went missing for a few days before his body was found in a lake close to his house. The only person who wasn't dead was Sarah, but that changed before I could talk to her."

"What happened to Sarah?" Dave asked as he fought back nausea; Sarah had been the youngest on the team and had had her whole life ahead of her.

John sighed, "She was found in her house; she had been violently raped and then shot through the head and heart."

"Jesus," Dave breathed.

"Dave, you should also know…" John trailed off, not knowing how to say what he needed to.

"What? What do I need to know?" When his friend wasn't immediately forthcoming, he banged his hand on the table. "Tell me!" He barked.

"Sarah's husband and daughter were both killed as well…both were found in the same room as Sarah and they had gunshot wounds to the head. The medical examiner put their times of death as two hours before Sarah's."

"Christ, he killed them in front of her." Other than him, Sarah was the only person from the team who'd had a family and John's revelation shook him to his very core.

"He might not be after you, Dave," John tried reasoning. "You weren't technically a part of the team, so he might leave you alone."

"I can't take that chance," Dave said as he threw a couple of bills down on the table to pay for his drink. "I might not have technically been a part of the team, but it was my profile that ultimately led to his capture."

John followed Dave's lead and stood up when the profiler did. "I'll let you know if I hear anything else," he promised. "Take care of yourself, Dave, and be careful."

"You too, John," Dave said, shaking the other man's hand. After that, they parted ways and Dave sped toward his home, where he knew his daughter was alone. Once there, he pulled into the garage, cut the ignition and sprinted into the house.

"Hi dad," Katie said from her position at the kitchen stove. "You're just in time; I made chicken a la king and mashed potatoes."

"Smells great, Belle," he said with a relieved sigh as he kissed the top of her head. Five minutes later, they were sitting at the table enjoying the meal and talking about their days.

"So after that, the cafeteria got quiet because there aren't many fights at my school," Katie said. She looked at her dad, who seemed a million miles away, and decided to have a little fun with him. "Then we learned on the news that aliens had landed on the White House lawn."

"Mmmm hmmm, that's nice," Dave said distractedly.

"Then we decided to have a keg party in one of the classrooms," she told him but he was still not listening, "And then I came home and found out I'm pregnant."

That snapped him out of his fog a little. "Wait, what?" He asked, confused.

"God dad, you haven't listened to a word I've said for the past fifteen minutes!"

"Sorry, Katie Belle, I've got a couple of things on my mind," he told her apologetically as she stood up and began clearing her place. "You ate fast tonight; what's the big hurry?"

"Kayla wants me over there by eight-thirty and I still haven't packed," she told him.

"What are you talking about?" He asked with a frown.

"I'm sleeping over at Kayla's tonight. I asked you yesterday and you said it would be fine," she told him when she saw his blank look.

"Sorry Katie, it's not happening tonight," he said. There was no _way_ she was setting foot outside of the house without him until he figured out a way to protect her from Lazlov's henchmen.

"What? Why not?" She whined loudly.

There was no way he was going to tell her the about the probable threat against them, so he grabbed and hung onto the first excuse that popped into his head. "Is your room clean?"

"No," she said in confusion, "But it never is. You always told me that as long as you can't see the mess and there aren't bugs, I can keep my room as clean or messy as I want!"

"Well, I've changed my mind," he told her. "You're not leaving this house until your room is clean." He knew that particular job would take her the rest of the night and most of the next day, so he was safe for a little while.

"WHAT? That's not fair!" She shouted as tears sprung to her eyes. It would have been one thing if he'd nicely _asked _her to clean her room, but to ground her until it was clean? That was crap!

"Tough, that's how it's going to be," he said, knowing he _was _being completely unfair, but not knowing what else to do.

"You're a jerk!" She yelled and then ran out of the room. Normally he wouldn't let her get away with name-calling, but she was right, he _was _being a jerk but he would do that and more to keep her safe. A moment later, the loud slam of her bedroom door shattered the silence in the kitchen.

xxxxxxxxxx

The ride to the Strauss residence was largely silent the next night. Katie had been giving Dave the silent treatment all day and it had gotten even worse once she was done cleaning her bedroom and had started hanging out in the living room. If there was one thing Dave couldn't stand, it was his daughter's silent treatment and she had learned it well from her adopted mother, Janet. It didn't help that, in this case, she had every right to be angry with him. As pissed as her silent treatment was making him, he also felt genuinely bad for what he had done.

"Are you ever going to speak to me again?" He asked her as they pulled up to a red light. She remained silent and stared out the passenger window.

"What do you want me to say?" He asked gently. "That I was an ass last night? Well, I was and I'm sorry." Katie whipped her head around and stared at him in open-mouthed shock. "What, I can admit I'm wrong."

"Yeah, but you usually don't," the teen said, still astonished that her dad would refer to himself as an ass.

"Anyway," he said with a smile as the light turned green and he accelerated. "I'm sorry that I was in such a bad mood last night."

Katie, seeing an opening, decided to go for broke. "I know how you can make it up to me."

"Oh?" Dave asked in amusement, thinking she would ask him for a new dress or something. "What do you want?"

The teen took a deep breath. "So there's a formal dance next month and I really want to go. Kayla said she heard from Becky, who heard from Maddie, who heard from Jane, who heard from Anna's sister's best friend's boyfriend that Billy wants to ask me and, if he does, I want to go with him."

It took Dave a minute to follow the convoluted train of information his daughter had given him, but when he did, it finally dawned on him what his daughter was asking. He hit the turn directional wand, pulled over to the side of the road and then faced her.

"No. Absolutely not. You are _not _dating until you're at least 16 years old; we've talked about this!"

"But daaaaaaaad," she whined. "That's totally unreasonable! You owe me!"

"I'm sorry Belle, but that's my rule. I know I owe you and if you want to take a trip to the mall in order to collect, then fine, but you are NOT going on a date at 14," he said firmly.

"Don't you trust me?" She asked loudly, her anger from earlier quickly returning.

"Of course I trust you," he told her. "It's the hormonal high school guys I don't trust. It's not happening Katie, end of discussion." With that, he hit the turn signal again and pulled back out into traffic while Katie huffed and returned to giving him the silent treatment.

Ten minutes later, they pulled up to the Strauss house. Katie got out of the car as soon as it stopped and practically ran to the door, letting herself in.

"Hi honey," her mother as she walked out of the living room.

"Hi," she said tightly as she made her way to the stairs. All she wanted was to be left alone and the only way to do that would be to barricade herself in her bedroom.

"Hey, where are you going? I thought we were doing 'make your own tacos' tonight." Instead of their normal date night, Dave and Erin were staying in and spending time with the kids.

"There's no way I'm eating with _him_," she said, nodding toward her father who had just walked through the front door. "I'll be in my room." With that, she ran up the stairs and into her bedroom, where she slammed the door behind her.

"What was that all about?" Erin asked, surprised at her daughter's behavior.

"I was a jerk to her last night and as payback, she wanted permission to go to the formal dance next month with some guy and she was less than happy when I said no."

Shaking her head, Erin said, "She is _much _too young to date; I'll go up and talk to her."

"Actually, I need to talk to you first."

"Let's go to the kitchen, we can talk while we get everything prepared for tonight," Erin suggested and Dave followed. On the way he stopped in the family rec room and said hello to Clara and Allie.

"No Ellen tonight?" He asked Erin as they entered the kitchen.

"No, she's out with some friends," Erin responded as she got two cutting boards out of the cupboard. She handed one to Dave, along with a knife, and the both of them began chopping vegetables. While they worked, Dave gave her the abbreviated version of what had happened to his old CIA team. By the end, Erin was suitably freaked out.

"My God, David! Do you think this man will come after you? What am I asking, of course he will!" She said panicked. "I've got to call Ellen and get her back home!"

"Erin, calm down," he said. "I know what you're feeling, it's the exact same thing I went through last night, but Ellen is fine."

"We have to tell the kids! I have to get protection set up for them!"

"I'm way ahead of you," he told her. "When everything happened with Hotch and The Reaper, I hired a couple of guys to protect Katie from afar. She never knew they were following or watching her so it didn't scare her. I called the same firm and the two men will start their protection detail first thing Monday morning and I arranged to have to people on each of the girls as well. If they set foot outside of the house, there will be eyes on them but they won't know what's going on, so they won't be afraid."

"You did that for my girls?" Erin said, deeply touched by the way he had thought of their safety along with Katie's.

"Of course I did, they're my family," he said with a shrug. "You need protection too."

She shook her head, "I'll be fine, Dave; I work in a secure federal building _and _ I carry a gun."

"So did all of the members of my team," he snapped.

"Be that as it may, I'm not going to have agents following me around." Seeing he was ready to argue with her about it some more, she beat him to the punch. "Are _you_ going to ask for agency protection?"

"No," he huffed, knowing she'd won the argument. "At least let me assign some of my guys to your house when you're home. You won't even know they're outside."

"Fine," she said, knowing it would give him peace of mind. "What are we going to do about this, David?"

"Don't worry Erin, I'm going to find Lazlov and take care of him before he gets anywhere near us," he told her, not knowing just how wrong he would be.

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><p><em>AN 2-THE AWARDS SEASON HAS COMMENCED! Nominations have opened for the third annual Profiler's Choice Awards for Criminal Minds' fandom! Please visit Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum for the nomination ballot, rules and guidelines and category definitions. Please review all of the information and rules before submitting your nomination ballot. Ilovetvalot, Tonnie2001969, and HxChick are NOT eligible for ANY awards._


	10. Chapter 10

_This Crazy Thing Called Life-Chapter 10_

**~_Nominations have opened for the third annual Profiler's Choice Awards for Criminal Minds' fandom!_ Please visit Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum for the nomination ballot, rules and guidelines and category definitions. Please review all of the information and rules before submitting your nomination ballot. Ilovetvalot, Tonnie2001969, and HxChick are NOT eligible for ANY awards.**

* * *

><p>Two weeks went by and nothing happened. Every time his phone rang or there was a knock on the house door, Dave's heart leapt into his throat as he expected the worst, but nothing happened. He checked with the guys who were following all of the girls around and they hadn't noticed anyone out of the ordinary. It was as if Dmitri Lazlov had disappeared into thin air and Dave began to cautiously hope that John had been right, that Dmitri wouldn't come after him because he hadn't technically been part of the CIA team that took him down. Unfortunately, that illusion was shattered soon after it had taken root in his brain.<p>

His world exploded on a Thursday, the day after Valentine's Day. He had come into work late because he and Erin had celebrated the romantic holiday by eating dinner at an overpriced but wonderful restaurant. They had gotten home late and, after discovering that all of their daughters had gone to bed early, they had continued their celebration until the early morning hours. They celebrated for so long that it was only minutes after Dave had tiptoed down to the couch that Allie was up watching cartoons. Needless to say, he hadn't gotten much sleep with the little girl sitting on the floor in front of him watching her shows with the volume cranked, so after the girls had left for school, he and Erin had celebrated a little more before grabbing a few hours of shut eye.

As he entered the office via the bullpen later that morning, there were no sly looks, there was no ribbing him about coming in so late after Valentine's day, instead everyone looked shaken and a bit somber.

"What happened?" Dave asked Emily as he walked through the unusually quiet bullpen.

"Anderson was shot last night," she told him.

"What?" He asked incredulously. "Was he on a case?"

The brunette shook her head, "No, someone busted into his house and shot him before he could react. He's in the ICU right now, but it doesn't look good."

"Jesus," Dave said in disbelief; if something like that could happen to a desk agent like Anderson...well, it could happen to any of them. He shook that thought out of his head as he made his way to the conference room for the team's late daily briefing.

After the briefing, Dave was weighed down in paperwork and he didn't look up from it until around four o'clock, when Erin walked into his office and shut the door. "I'm going to head out; will you and Katie be okay on your own this weekend?" Katie had forgiven him quickly for not allowing her to attend the formal dance, mostly because she had known he would say no, and their house had been fairly harmonious in the weeks since.

"We'll be fine, but we're gonna miss you," he told her as he got up from his desk and pulled her into his arms. The girls all had the next day and the following Monday off from school due to a large teacher's convention and the Strauss women were attending a Strauss family reunion in New York City. Erin had invited Katie to the event, but she didn't feel comfortable attending family functions yet, so the two of them were on their own for the long weekend. He wasn't sure what they were going to do, but he wanted to make it a nice father/daughter weekend and he had arranged to have a long weekend as well.

"I'm going to miss you too," she told him as she looked up at him. Without warning, their lips came together in a passionate kiss. She finally pulled away from him and caught her breath. "So much for remaining professional at the office."

"Hey, we closed the door, that's professional," he argued with a grin.

"You're incorrigible," she said as she pulled out of his tight grip and headed for the door. "I'll see you on Tuesday."

"Be careful on the roads and make sure to keep an eye out for things," he told her, thinking about Anderson.

"You too Dave," she said as she answered her ringing cell phone. After she left, Dave decided to call John to check on the status of the escaped Russian mobster. He tried the man's listed cell phone number and his unlisted, private number without success. Finally, he tried his CIA office phone and was surprised when an unfamiliar voice picked up.

"Hello," the baritone said.

"I'm looking for John," Dave said without explanation. If there was one thing he'd picked up on his consultations for them, it was that the CIA didn't mess around with introductions and explanations; they liked it when people were direct and to the point.

"He's not here," the person said.

"Do you know when he'll be back?" Dave asked.

"What is this in regards to?"

"None of your damn business," Dave said, getting agitated. "Just put John on the line."

"We're in a heightened state of security here, so I'm going to need John's secret phrase before I can give you any information," the man said.

"Jesus Christ, you people take paranoia to a whole new level," Dave said exasperated. "How do I know you're not some turncoat who will use the phrase against him?"

"Well you'll have to take your chances, won't you, asshole?" The voice snarled at him.

Dave closed his eyes and shook his head; he weighed his options and decided he had no choice. "Live each day as though it were your last; one day you're sure to be right." His CIA friend was a fan of obscure movie lines and that was one of his favorites.

There was silence at the other end of the line for a moment. "Okay, you're legit," he finally said.

"No shit, so can I talk to John now?"

"No, he's dead."

"What the fuck happened to him?" Dave asked, panicked.

"Assassination; one to the head, one to the heart."

Dave didn't even bother saying goodbye, he just hung the phone up and sat there in shock. John was dead, Lazlov hadn't forgotten about them and now he was the last one alive. Fuck, this was really bad. He grabbed his keys, said a quick goodbye to Hotch and left the building. As he made his way home, he called Katie under the pretense of checking in with her, but he really wanted to make sure she was okay. She answered and reminded him she would be home late that afternoon since she was at the mall with friends. He almost made her come home but as he glanced at his watch, he realized that by the time he got home, she and her friends would be leaving the mall themselves so she would only get home a few minutes earlier than planned, but she would be angry with him for the entire weekend, so he let it go.

Once he got home, he beelined it for the liquor cabinet, but he stopped abruptly when he saw an unfamiliar laptop on the kitchen table. There was a note taped to the top that said 'open me.' Dave knew at once that the laptop belonged to Dmitri and the knowledge that he, or one of his men, had been in his house made him draw his gun and sweep the entire place. Once he was certain he was alone, he sat down at the table and opened the computer. As soon as he did, a video conference program opened up and soon he was face to face, or screen to screen, with Dmitri Lazlov.

"Ah, Agent Rossi, we meet again," the Russian said in heavily accented English.

"Dmitri," Rossi said, schooling his features so the mobster wouldn't see how rattled he was. He had interviewed Manson, Dahmer, and Bundy yet Dmitri Lazlov scared him more than all three of those men combined. Lazlov had absolutely no conscience and he was the most ruthless man Dave had ever profiled.

"Your team is dead, Agent Rossi. I saved John for last but I wish I'd saved that young one. She had spunk, fought to the end to save her family but it was all for naught. Tell me Agent Rossi, have you ever seen a child die? It is strangely peaceful."

"What do you want Dmitri?" Dave asked, pushing his horror at the man's words into a box in his mind.

"Ah, so we're on a first name basis, are we? Let me ask you something, _Dave_; do you know what a Russian Gulag is like? Anyone who says hell is hot is wrong; hell is a Siberian prison cell in the dead of winter and I had four years to experience it."

"Am I supposed to feel sorry for you?"

"Oh, by the time I'm done with you, you'll be sorry, don't you worry," Dmitri said arrogantly. "I was stuck in that hellhole for four years! And then, when I finally broke out, do you know what I found?" He asked rhetorically. "I found out that my wife and son had been killed by one of my enemies. The only thing that had kept me going in that god awful place was the thought of seeing them again and it turns out they had been killed right after I'd entered the prison!"

"I'm sorry Dmitri," Dave said genuinely. "No one should have their family taken from them."

"And if it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't have!" Lazlov shouted, banging his fist down on the surface in front of him. "The CIA was clueless as to where I was, but then you came on scene and within _weeks_ they had captured me! My capture, my sentence, and my family's death is your fault, which is why I saved you for last."

"You can blame me all you want Lazlov, but you're the scumbag criminal, not me," Dave said with a confidence he didn't feel.

"Tell me Dave, how is Agent Anderson doing?"

"You son of a-" Dave started angrily, but the mobster cut him off.

"You're going to die, Agent Rossi, that's a given, but you're not going to be the first to die…no, you took my family and now I'm going to take yours, I'm going to take _all_ of your family," he said almost gleefully. "Maybe I'll start with Agent Hotchner and his son, they like going to the park in the mornings. Or maybe that pretty technical girl; it would be pretty easy to get her while she's walking home from the Metro station. Hmmm, or maybe your girlfriend should be my first target. No, I think your daughter-"

"If you _touch_ her, I'll-" Dave wasn't able to get his entire threat out before Dmitri interrupted him.

"You'll what? You don't even know where I am! You're getting rusty in your old age, Agent Rossi. Hell, even when you weren't so…seasoned, you still couldn't do anything to stop me," he told him. "Did you ever wonder about your wife's car accident? How she was run off of a seemingly deserted road? Didn't that ever seem suspicious to you?"

"What are you saying?" Dave asked in a deadly voice.

"What I'm _saying_, Dave, is that I had some time in a regular Russian prison before I was transferred to that hellhole in the north, and while I was there, I made some arrangements, payback for your ingenious profile. I was angry when I learned she was alone, as I had also hoped to kill your daughter as well, but it seems as though I'll get a chance now."

Dave sat stunned at his table; Janet had been killed because of him, and it was only by the grace of God that his daughter hadn't been with her. Jesus.

"Here's how this will work, Agent Rossi. I _am_ going to start killing people you know and love and it will be at random intervals so you cannot predict it. If you are as good as you once were, then maybe you'll be able to stop me before you lose too many people, especially since I'm older now."

"I swear to God, Dmitri-" Once again, Dave wasn't able to finish his sentence.

"There are rules to this game, Dave," Lazlov interrupted. "The main rule is you cannot tell _anyone_ what is going on. I have all of your people watched and if I notice that one of them has gone into hiding, or they are all varying their routines, I'll have my men kill them all at once. I have your phones, your email and your internet tapped, so don't think you'll warn anyone that way either. And if you think your precious FBI building is safe from my surveillance, you're mistaken. But I'm a nice man; I won't start this until Tuesday, that way you can spend the weekend with your daughter, like you had planned and you won't have to worry about anything happening to Erin, Ellen, Alison or Clara while they're in New York, but don't try going online for any of your files because, again, I have everything tapped."

"What about Agent Anderson? Was he just a warning?" Dave asked tightly.

"Agent Anderson was proof that I'm not bluffing."

"I'm going to find you Dmitri, and when I do, you won't have to worry about prison. No, I'll kill you slowly and painfully," Dave said scarily but the mobster just laughed arrogantly.

"Good luck with that, Agent Rossi," he said jovially. "But we should end this conversation; your daughter is just walking up the path to your home. Tell her she should have gotten the blue blouse as well, it looked good on her." With that, the connection went blank and all of the fear Dave had been holding back, came bubbling to the surface.

Sure enough, Katie walked through the door a moment later and she was holding a Gap bag. "Hi dad," she said brightly. "Wanna see the cool pink top I got today?"

He stared at her for a second and knew he had to get her out of there, if only for the weekend. He couldn't stand the thought of both of them being watched and Dmitri said the 'game' wouldn't start until Tuesday, so he should be safe in getting her out of town for a few days. But where should he take her?

"Pack your suitcase!" He ordered abruptly, which startled Katie.

"What do you mean?" She asked as dropped her bag. "Where are we going?"

"Disneyworld." The idea came to him out of nowhere. It was far away and crowded so he could potentially lose their tail, but not so crowded that it would be dangerous for his daughter.

"WHAT?" Katie asked incredulously. "When did you decide this?"

"About two seconds ago."

"But…but we don't have plane tickets, or reservations, or-"

"Belle, if we leave within the next hour and I drive through the night, we'll make it to Orlando by noon tomorrow. We can sleep tomorrow afternoon and then go to the park in the evening and we'll have all day Saturday and most of Sunday. Then we'll leave Sunday night and be back here by noon on Monday. Besides, it's February so we shouldn't have a problem getting a room," he told her. "So what do you say, you wanna go to Disneyworld with your old man?"

"You're crazy," she laughed, wondering if he'd lost his mind, but she didn't care. "Of course I want to go! Give me twenty minutes and I'll be ready."

"Don't forget your swimsuit," he told her as she ran up the stairs. He hoped he could manage to keep up his carefree façade because he was going crazy inside and, truth be told, he knew it would take him some time to catch Dmitri and while he would somehow keep her, her sisters and Erin safe, he knew it was going to get ugly and, truth be told, he wanted to give Katie one last happy memory before the proverbial shit hit the fan.

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><p><em>AN 2: I won't be writing the Disneyworld chapter simply because I have never been there and I don't think I could do it justice. _


	11. Chapter 11

_This Crazy Thing Called Life-Chapter 11_

**~Don't forget to submit your nominations for the third annual Profiler's Choice Awards! Visit the Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum to get the lowdown on the rules and categories.**

**~Thanks again to everyone who has reviewed this story!**

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><p>Dave rubbed his face tiredly as he worked on a profile for their current case which, thankfully, was a local one. Someone was killing the spouses of high-profile, Washington politicians so the team was in the spotlight and they were under the gun to find the unsub quickly. Because of that, Erin had been assigned by the director to personally oversee the case, so they were working together for the first time since they had gotten together as a couple and he was nervous at the thought of her being in the field.<p>

While Erin working in the field wasn't doing anything to calm his nerves, it was the conversation he'd had with Dmitri Lazlov the week prior that had caused his lack of sleep. He had worked on re-profiling Lazlov during every free moment he'd had, and he couldn't catch a break. It didn't help that he was also terribly worried about everyone around him and he wondered who Lazlov would target next. Unfortunately, he was about to find out.

"Did someone's alarm clock not go off this morning?" Emily teased Derek as he entered the conference room nearly two hours late.

"One of my properties burned down," Morgan said angrily.

"What?" Dave asked, with a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Yeah, I bought the place a few months ago and I went there last night to finish up a couple of small repairs before the open house on Saturday. I had planned on spending the night, I even brought my go bag in with me, but the repairs went quicker than I thought, so I went home. The fire chief called me this morning to let me know what happened and I've been there since."

"Do they know what caused the fire?" Reid asked.

Derek nodded. "The inspector said it was too soon to tell, but it looks like arson."

"Who would want to burn down your empty house?" JJ asked in confusion but before Derek could answer, Hotch got the team back on task and gave them a deadline for the profile.

As much as he wanted to help with the profile, Dave sat at the table in a shocked silence; if Dmitri's men had been watching the house and saw Derek go in, they might have been too busy setting up the arson to see him come out, especially if he'd parked in the garage. Good God, it was starting and he had absolutely no idea what to do about it. Little did he know that the solution would come in the form of a bullet.

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The next day, after the team had given the profile to DC Metro PD and the media, they got a tip from a possible witness and Hotch and Dave went to check it out. They hadn't thought much of the tip which was why they were caught off guard when they got to the address and heard screaming from inside the house. They quickly called for backup and then busted in through the front door. They quickly subdued the unsub, cuffed him and were about to lead him out of the house, when his partner burst out of a closet and fired his handgun, hitting Rossi in the left shoulder.

Dave went down like a ton of bricks and, as he lay there on the floor, he heard Hotch shoot the second unsub. He heard Hotch yell "Officer Down! Officer Down!" into his microphone, and then his world went black.

He came to as the paramedics were loading him into the ambulance and his eyes met Hotch's. "How bad?" He asked.

"You'll be fine," his friend told him as the medic started an IV. "It looks like you got hit in the shoulder."

"Easy for you to say," Dave said around the oxygen mask that had been placed over his mouth and nose. "You're not the one with a bullet in him. Where are they taking me?"

"Walter Reed, we're only about 5 minutes away,"

"How's the victim?"

"She's fine, the two unsubs had her stashed in a closet and they hadn't gotten around to doing anything to her before we got there," Hotch responded as his phone rang. "Shit, it's Strauss; what do you want me to tell her?"

"The truth, but tell her not to kill herself getting to me; I'll wait for her." Dave listened to his unit chief's conversation for the first minute or so, but then he tuned it out as he formulated a plan. Thank God they were taking him to the large military hospital, otherwise his plan wouldn't have a chance in hell of working. As it is, it was going to be iffy. And with that, Dave passed out again.

This time when he regained consciousness, he found a pair of gorgeous blue eyes staring down at him. "You took ten years off of my life, David Rossi!" Erin Strauss exclaimed shakily.

"Erin, where am I?"

"Walter Reed ER," she told him. "You're going to be fine." She moved aside so the surgeon could take a look at him.

"Agent Rossi, you sustained a gunshot wound to your left shoulder. However, the bullet did not exit your body, it's still inside of you, so we're going to have to do surgery to get it out. Fortunately, the x-rays show it's not close to any major blood vessels, it just seems to be nestled in some muscle, so it is not life threatening at this point," the doctor told him. "We're prepping you for surgery and we'll probably take you up in the next fifteen or twenty minutes."

Dave saw Hotch standing near the corner of the exam room and gave a sigh of relief. "Doc, I've gotta talk to my two colleagues for a minute. Can we have the room?"

The doctor could see he looked serious, so he checked his vitals on the screen and then nodded. "You've got ten minutes," he said and then cleared all of the medical personnel out of the room.

"Were those assholes the unsubs?" Dave asked as he raised the bed into more of a sitting position.

"It sure seems that way," Hotch told him. "The guy who made it out alive is trying to pin everything on our dead unsub."

"I'll let you deal with that," Dave said. "I've got to talk to the two of you about something else."

"If you're worried about the surgery, don't; you're going to be fine," Erin told him as she took his hand.

"That's just it, sweetheart, I have to die on that operating table and I need both of your help to do it." He saw the confused looks on their faces and told them about Dmitri Lazlov, everything from his CIA assistance to the conversation that had taken place the previous week. At the end, their looks changed from confusion to horror.

"If I die, he'll have no reason to come after anyone since he gets off on my suffering. My death would let the team and the girls stay safe," he told them.

"So, what?" Strauss said loudly, "You're willing to die for us?"

"You're damn right I am! Wouldn't you do that for your kids?" He asked. She had no response to that, so he continued. "I'm not really going to die, you two and those nice military doctors are going to fake my death."

"That's actually not the worst idea," Hotch said thoughtfully. "It would keep everyone safe and you would have uninterrupted time to hunt for Lazlov. If we get you out of here right after your surgery, it might just work."

"What are you saying?" Erin asked in a high pitched voice. "We're just going to send him away because he's being threatened?"

"I don't like it any more than you do, Dave's my best friend but there are a lot of people to think of, including our kids!" Aaron shot back and then looked at his friend. "You're sure his threats are legit?"

Dave nodded. "He's the one who arranged Anderson's shooting and I'm sure he's the one who burned down Morgan's house. Who knows what he'll do next? You and I have seen a lot of evil people, Aaron, but Dmitri Lazlov scares me more than any of them and I'm afraid of what he'll do to our families."

Hotch nodded, "Okay. I have some contacts in the State Department; I'll call in some favors and get you set up with a new identity, a residence somewhere in the world and some cash. You just work on finding this bastard."

"Wait, what? No, I did _not _give that order, Agent Hotchner, and I never will!" Strauss shouted.

"Aaron, will you give us a minute?" Dave asked softly as he reached for Erin's hand.

"Sure Dave," he said and then left the room.

"Honey, this is the only way I'll know that you and the girls are safe," Dave told her as he reached for her hand.

She thought about it for a moment and then nodded but as she did, tears spilled from her eyes. "I know, it's just so horrible. What am I going to do without you?"

"You're strong Erin, you're the strongest woman I've ever met and you'll get through ths, but honey? It's got to be believable. Dmitri and his men will probably watch all of you for awhile after my supposed death and they need to see sincere grief. You can't tell anyone else about this, including Katie."

"God," she breathed, already defeated. "It's going to break her."

"No it's not, she's also strong, but you're going to have to watch her," he told her. "She retreated into herself after Janet died and there were times I had to literally drag out of her bed or she would have stayed there all day, but she got through it, you're just going to have to stay in her face. She's going to be in emotional pain and you're going to have to watch her go through it, knowing you're lying to her. Can you do it?"

With a pained look on her face, Erin nodded. She would do whatever she had to in order to keep her daughters safe and if it meant causing undue emotional pain to Katie, then that's what she would do. She could recover from the damage to her psyche; she couldn't recover from being killed by Lazlov's men.

"I love you _so _much, Erin and I'm sorry it took me this long to do anything about it. I wish we'd had more time together."

"We will," she said firmly, as she wiped the tears from her face with her free hand. "You're going to catch him and you'll come home and we'll be a family again. I love you too much to let you go for good."

"It might take awhile," he cautioned. "It could take years."

"Then we'll re-start our relationship in a few years. I'll wait for you," she told him.

"Okay then," he said, trying to push the emotional part out of his head. "We only have a few minutes before they wheel me up to surgery and we have to talk about things like my will and the townhouse and stuff. Can clear your head enough to do it?"

"I can, but Agent Reid is on his way to get Katie and the girls; do you want to see her first?"

"I do, but I can't," he said as he choked up. "It would be too hard for me and I think it would be better for the façade if she's told my wounds were too severe for her to see me before hand. Make sure she knows how much I love her."

"Always," she said as she gave him a kiss on the mouth. After that, they talked about his will and other financial items and then the surgeon came back in.

"Agent Hotchner explained to me the secrecy surrounding this surgery and I've received orders from my commander that you should 'die' on the table. Rest assured, Agent Rossi, that my team and I have high security clearance and we will make your death very believable." The surgical team began gathering up his IV tubes and the cords for the electrical equipment.

"Shit Hotch, who did you have to bribe to get this done so quickly?"

"You're not the only one who has friends in high places, Rossi," Aaron said and then gave him a sad smile. "After your surgery, you'll be dealing with a Melissa Taylor from the State Department. She's going to get everything arranged for you. You have all of my numbers, so you'll be able to get in touch with me when you find the son of a bitch, but don't call until then."

"I understand."

"Take care of yourself, old man and don't worry about things here, I'll be there for Katie."

"Thanks Hotch, for everything," he said as he felt someone release the brakes on his bed. He knew it was time for him to 'die,' and he wanted to see Erin one last time.

"Hey beautiful," he said as he reached out for her again. "I'll see you soon, okay?" He studied her face so the memory of her beauty could sustain him until he found the Russian Mobster.

She nodded as more tears spilled down her face. "I love you, David."

"I love you too Erin, more than you'll ever know." With that, he let go of her hand and let the surgical team wheel him into the nearby elevator.


	12. Chapter 12

_This Crazy Thing Called Life-Chapter 12_

**~Don't forget to submit your nominations for the third annual Profiler's Choice Awards! Visit the Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum to get the lowdown on the rules and categories.**

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><p>'God, could this class be <em>any <em>more boring?' Katie thought as she sat in her fourth period history class, listening to the teacher drone on and on about the causes of WWII. Who cared about the German invasion of Poland? Who cared who was on the Allied side and who was in the Axis? Didn't her teacher realize that all of that stuff happened 80 years ago? Ugh, was the freaking clock stuck? As she stared at it, she began to believe that it was actually ticking backwards.

In order to escape the boredom of her class, Katie let her mind wander back to her trip to Disney World the previous weekend. After she'd gotten over the initial shock of the impromptu trip, she'd quickly thrown some of her summer clothes into a suitcase and she and her dad had hit the open road. He'd thrown a pillow and blanket in the backseat of the car, so she had been able to sleep on the way down there and she'd fallen asleep to the sound of her dad singing along with the Rat Pack, which was actually comforting.

Once there, he had gotten them a really cool hotel room at the Polynesian Resort and the first she'd wanted to do was go swimming, since it was 75 degrees out, but her dad wouldn't let her go alone. Instead, he made her stay in the room while he slept, but it wasn't too bad since she had been able to sit out on the balcony and enjoy the nice weather. Once her dad woke up, she had assumed he would want to take it easy for the rest of the day since he had driven all night, but he'd surprised her by wanting to go into the Magic Kingdom.

They had gotten an early start the next day and, by the end, it felt as if they had seen all the Kingdom had to offer, but they knew that wasn't possible. On Sunday, they also started early and they stayed at the park until late in the afternoon. Then, they got in the car and drove back to DC. Her dad had wanted her to sleep in the backseat again but she stayed up front so he wouldn't get lonely. Besides, the closer they had gotten to DC, the quieter he had gotten and she knew something was up with him. although when she'd asked him about it, he'd changed the subject.

Just as she was about to start doodling in her notebook, Katie was pulled from her reverie by the click of the PA system in the classroom. "Mr. Burke, please send Katie Rossi down to the office," the voice said.

All eyes turned toward her and there was a murmur of whispers. "What'd you do?" Her friend Kayla asked from behind her.

"I don't know," she mumbled as she got up from her desk.

"You might as well take your things since it's nearly the end of class," her teacher told her. She gathered up her book, notebook and pen and left the classroom. As she made her way down to the principal's office, she ran through the last few weeks in her head and couldn't think of anything she had done wrong. As she entered the office, she saw Reid standing near the reception desk and her nervousness changed to outright fear.

"Katie," he started, but she didn't let him get any farther.

"Who is it?" She asked. "Which one of them is hurt?"

"Your dad," he responded, looking uncomfortable; why hadn't they sent JJ to do this? She was much better with kids than he was. Hell, she was much better at emotions than he was.

Katie took a deep breath, "What happened? Is he…he's not…" Thankfully Reid's genius brain let him catch on quickly.

"He's alive," he told her as he helped her sit in one of the chairs near the office doors. One of the staff members brought over a bottle of water for her. "He went to check out a lead with Hotch and was shot. I don't know how bad it is."

"Well then, let's get going!" She said, jumping to her feet. Adrenaline and fear were coursing through her body and she needed to move, she needed to get to her dad, she needed to know he was okay.

"Hang on, we have to wait for your sisters and then we'll head to the hospital." While Ellen and Katie were in high school and the two younger girls were in the elementary grades, the small, private school shared a central office.

"Fine, but they'd better hurry," Katie said, meaning it. If her sisters weren't there in the next ten minutes or so, she would take the Metro to the hospital if she had to. Thankfully, they arrived at the office five minutes later and, after that, they all made their way to the waiting Bureau SUV.

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Thirty minutes later, Katie, her sisters, and Reid stepped off of the elevator and into the surgical waiting room. "Mom!" She exclaimed running toward her. "How is he?" She asked her mother as she wrapped her arms around her.

"He's in surgery, but honey? The doctor said it doesn't look good," Erin said, trying to prepare her daughter for the news she knew she would get.

"No, he can't die!" Katie exclaimed as she pulled out of the embrace. "He's not going to! He'll fight to live."

"Sweetie," Erin started as she tried pulling her back in for another hug.

"NO! He's going to be fine, you'll see," Katie said stubbornly, pulling away from her. Erin let her go and watched as she sat down in an empty bank of chairs in the farthest corner of the waiting room, not wanting to talk to anyone.

"God mom, how did this happen?" Ellen asked, near tears. While Dave wasn't her father, he was the closest thing she had to one and she couldn't imagine losing him.

Erin put her arm around her oldest daughter's shoulder and walked her and her other daughters, to some chairs near Katie. "There was a bust and one of the bad guys shot him." She simplified the terms for her younger daughters who were too young to understand terms such as 'unsub.'

After that, the room was mostly silent as they waited to hear from Dave's surgeon. Finally, after another two hours, he arrived in the waiting room. Erin and Hotch had talked to the surgeon beforehand and they had all agreed that Dave's 'death' would be more believable coming from him.

"Are you all waiting for David Rossi?" He asked with a sad look on his face.

Katie jumped up from her chair and nodded. "I'm his daughter. How is he?"

"I'm sorry to say that, despite our best efforts, your father wounds were too severe. He didn't make it."

"What?" The teen asked in disbelief, feeling her world begin to crumble beneath her.

"Your father died on the operating table," the doctor told her. "I'm so sorry."

"No," Katie whispered. "You're talking about the wrong person…my dad…my dad has a goatee and dark hair and-"

"I assure you, Miss Rossi; I operated on your father. I am so sorry for your loss." With that, the surgeon's pager went off and he quickly left the room.

Everyone in the room was stunned but they immediately turned their eyes toward Katie, who collapsed back into her chair.

"No, it can't be," she whispered as she wrapped her arms around herself. "He can't be dead; he _can't_." She felt panic and despair begin to wash over her and, as she exhaled, she felt like a part of her died and left her body with her breath; the part that would ever know unconditional love and happiness again. As she continued to exhale, she felt her lungs begin to deflate and she could feel her brain begin to shut down and it was as if she forgot how to inhale.

Erin, who had made her way to where her daughter was, saw a look of hopelessness and anguish come over her face. "Honey," she began gently, sitting down next to her. "You need to breathe." She rubbed her back to try to comfort her, but it didn't work.

"She's going into shock," Hotch said as he saw her face pale.

"Katie, honey, breathe!" Strauss ordered, more forcefully this time as she pushed her daughter's head down so it was between her knees.

The teen barely heard her mother's voice and she was hardly surprised when she was suddenly looking at the floor. All that went through her head was the idea that her father was gone, that she would never see him again. The man who used to sit her on the bathroom counter and sing with her while he shaved, was gone. The man who taught her how to ride her bike wouldn't be around to teach her anything else. The man who stood with her at her mother's gravesite and held her tightly as they lowered the casket into the ground wouldn't be there for her to lean on again. The man who battled her biological mother when they first met and tried to protect her from getting hurt wouldn't be her protector anymore. The man who told some of the corniest 'dad jokes' wouldn't be around to make her laugh anymore. The man who…she nearly blacked out, both from shock and a lack of oxygen but suddenly Aaron crouched down and got in her face.

"Katie, breathe!" He ordered sternly, hoping she would listen this time. "Your dad wouldn't want you to do this to yourself." His words…his voice, which sounded so much like her father's, cut through her fog of despair and got her lungs working again. She inhaled deeply and a little bit of the lightheadedness disappeared.

"Here, drink this," she heard Penelope say. A hand with shockingly orange colored nails shoved an open can of Pepsi in her face. "The sugar will help." She brought her head up and, with shaking hands, took a drink of the sugary beverage before handing it back to the technical analyst.

"I'm all alone," she said and everyone could hear the anguish in her voice. "I don't have anyone anymore."

Erin threw her arms around Katie and her eldest daughter did the same thing on Katie's other side. Together, along with Allie and Clara who had wedged themselves into the family hug, they held on tightly to her. "You're _not_ alone!" Erin said forcefully. "You're going to live with us at our house full-time. You will _never _be alone and you will _never _be unloved."

"Everyone in this room loves you and cares about you, Katie," Hotch said, patting the girl on the head; her mother and sisters had every other part of her body covered. "And we are _all_ here for you."

"It'll never be the same, though," Katie said softly. "I miss him already."


	13. Chapter 13

_This Crazy Thing Called Life-Chapter 13_

**~Don't forget to nominate your favorite authors and stories for the third annual Profiler's Choice awards! The nomination form and information can be found at the Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum.**

* * *

><p><em>Dear Diary,<em>

_God, what a stupid way to start an entry…I wouldn't even be writing in you if mom hadn't made me. After our kidnapping last spring, the therapist was worried that I wasn't 'showing my emotions,' and she made me keep a diary so I could have an emotional outlet. She acted as if I should have screamed and cried in front of everyone. Yeah, that wasn't going to happen. Mom is also talking about sending me back to said therapist, which I hope to God she doesn't do. _

_Anyway, the same thing is happening now…dad died and mom is worried because I haven't gone off the rails yet; she thinks I should act like the main character in some Lifetime movie and have some sort of emotional breakdown…if only she knew what I was holding back. My fear right now is that once I start crying, I'll never stop. I mean…my dad's gone. The one guy who knew me best in this world is just…gone and I never got to say goodbye. Sure, I believe in heaven and I know I'll see him and mom again someday, but I want him here! I want to be able to talk to him like I used to, I want to be able to hear him swear at bad calls during a football game, I want to hear his reassuring voice that could calm me down whenever I freaked out about something, but most of all, I just want him back. I already miss the safe feeling I had knowing he was nearby._

_I want to scream and cry and rail at the world. I want to ask Aaron why in the hell he hadn't been watching my dad's back that day. I want to meet the douche bag partner of the guy who killed my dad and I want to kill him. I want my mom to tell me that everything will be all right and I want to believe her, but I know that's a fantasy; I know that nothing will ever be the same again. But I can't do any of this, so I just lie in bed and try to block everything out._

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"Come in," Hotch said when he heard a knock on his office door. He was surprised when it opened and his unit chief walked in. "Ma'am," he said as he got to his feet. "I wasn't expecting you to be here today."

"I just came to get my laptop and some files," Strauss told him as she shut the door behind him. "How is your team doing with everything?"

"We're all just finishing up some paperwork that can't wait and then we're all taking the next week off," he told her as he sat back down behind his desk. "It's standard operating procedure when a member of the team dies."

"I understand, Agent Hotchner and I wasn't going to question it," she said as she sat down in one of the chairs in front of his desk. "I understand that Dave was a valued member of this team, he was like a trusted uncle who gave out both career and personal advice, and if you and your colleagues need more time to come to grips with his death, please allow them to take more than the standard one week." Obviously, the two of them knew Dave wasn't really dead, but they agreed never to speak about it, especially in public where anyone could hear them. Sure, the FBI building wasn't exactly public, but they never knew what kind of moles Lazlov may have placed in the building and they were determined to keep everyone safe.

"Thank you ma'am, I'll keep that in mind. Are you going to take your own advice?" He asked her, knowing Dave's 'death' had to be hard on her as well.

"I am," she said. "But I actually came here for another reason. I need a favor."

"A favor?" Hotch repeated with a furrowed brow.

Erin nodded. "Yes; I need help getting custody of Katie."

"What do you mean?"

"When Janet Rossi adopted Katie, she and Dave changed her birth certificate to list Janet as her mother. While I am biologically Katie's mother, I don't have any legal rights to her."

"You and Dave didn't think about fixing this earlier?" Hotch asked in amazement. Most members of law enforcement named a guardian in their will for their children as soon as they were born; the nature of the work was too risky to leave things to chance.

Strauss sighed. "It was stupid, I know. Dave wanted to keep the custody informal and out of the court system and after the kidnapping, he had no problem sharing custody with me, even though I had no real claim to it. A few months ago I had talked to him about officially adopting Katie, but we always had to be careful of Clara, Allie, and Ellen's feelings. We were worried they would be upset that Katie was being adopted but they weren't and we kept putting it off."

"Who's listed as her guardian in his will?" Hotch asked, still amazed that she and Dave hadn't taken care of the whole 'custody issue' earlier.

"Actually, Dave _did_ change his will and I am one of two people listed as her guardian."

"Who is the other person?"

"You are," Erin responded. "Apparently you and Haley had agreed to be her guardian after Janet died, and then once Haley passed away, Dave added me."

"Oh," Hotch said as he thought for a moment.

"Obviously I'll want you to remain a part of her life, but-" Aaron interrupted his boss with a shake of his head.

"No, I'm not going to seek official custody of her. I mean, I love her and all but you are her mother and she needs stability and normalcy in her life right now and she won't have that if she is constantly going from your house to mine," he said and Strauss sighed in relief.

"Thank you for that, Aaron."

"How is she doing?" He asked, not sure if he really wanted to know. He felt horrible for lying to the girl but he knew it was the only thing that would keep all of them alive, at least until Dave hunted Lazlov down.

Erin sighed, "She's…I'm not sure how she's doing. She's barely shown any emotion since she learned about Dave's death. When we got home from the hospital, all of us went into the living room and cuddled and Katie just…she just sat there like a robot. At first I was worried she was going into shock, and she probably was, but now it's just not healthy. It seems as if the only time she's left her bedroom was for the funeral. I know my daughter and she isn't shy about showing her feelings, and for her to be so quiet and dry-eyed throughout this…well, again, it's not natural."

Hotch nodded, "I saw her at the funeral yesterday; I think she was the only dry-eyed person there."

"She didn't even react when her grandfather and uncle left to go back to Italy this morning," Erin told him. "I let her stay in her room today on the condition that she starts writing in her journal again; I want her to let her feelings out somewhere, even if it's not with me."

"She did the same thing after Janet died," Hotch remembered aloud. "She held everything in and camped out in her bed until Dave finally took the tough love approach and dumped her off of her mattress and forced her to rejoin the world. Once he did that, she broke down and finally grieved for her mother. Dave said it was one of the hardest things he had to do, but he wasn't willing to let his daughter give up on life."

"Do you think I should do that?" She asked, willing to try anything if it meant Katie would do _anything _other than hole up in her room all day.

Hotch thought for a moment. "I would give her a little more time; she must have a lot going on in her mind. You have to remember that the past year has been full of changes for her; you and your daughters became a big part of her life, she was kidnapped, she watched as you were shot, she recovered from injuries, she had to re-adjust to the new family life and, once you and Dave started dating, she had to learn how to share him with you. All of those changes would be hard for anyone, but now her father is dead and that makes everything so much worse for her, especially considering how close the two of them were."

"Did that happen after Janet's death?"

"Somewhat," Hotch answered, "They were close before Janet died, since Katie was their only child, but they grew even closer after her death."

Erin felt horrible; she knew she could take most of her daughter's pain with just a few words, but she knew if she said those words, she would be putting everyone's life in danger. "I'd better get back," she said with a sigh as she stood up.

Hotch nodded, "One of my old college buddies is a judge and he owes me a few favors; I'll have him push your custody paperwork through as quickly as he can."

"Thank you," She said gratefully. "I already have social services sniffing around and there is no WAY I'll let them take her, even temporarily."

"JJ has some contacts within DCFS, I'll ask her to get them to back off of you."

"Again, thank you so much Aaron."

"It's what we do, ma'am. You and Katie are part of the BAU family and we take care of our own," he told her firmly. Even though she still wasn't one of his favorite people, the fact that she was the mother of Dave's child was enough to bring her into the BAU family fold.

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Erin arrived home an hour later and found the house as somber as she had left it. While Dave wasn't the father of her other daughters, he had filled that role over the past year and they had come to see him as another parent, which is why it was hard on them now that he was gone…it felt like they had lost another father.

"How is she?" She asked Allie, Ellen, and Clara as she walked into the family room. The two youngest girls were sprawled out on the couch, while Ellen was lying on the floor. The TV was on, but she could tell that all three girls were lost in their own thoughts.

"She hasn't left her room," Clara said as she sat up to greet her mother.

"And she yelled at Ellen," Allie tattled. "She was really loud!"

Erin raised an eyebrow at her oldest daughter and waited for her to explain. "I went up there with a sandwich, since it was lunch time. She wouldn't take it, so I sat down on the other side of her bed, just so I could be there for her, and she screamed at me to get out of her room."

"She didn't mean to do that, honey," Erin said as she took a seat between her two youngest girls on the couch. "She's just hurting right now."

"I know and I'm not pissed, I just really feel bad for her and I'm worried about her; the only time she's left her room was for the funeral and to go to the bathroom. Is she even eating?" Ellen asked, concern flooding her voice.

"A little," her mom told her. "Not as much as I would like, but she eats a little when I bring meal trays up to her."

"Mom, she didn't even cry at his funeral," Ellen said softly. "For someone who was so close to him, don't you think that's weird?"

"It is, but I want to give her a little more time to figure things out on her own. If she doesn't snap out of it soon, I'll take action."

"Okay," Ellen said, trying to understand her mother's reasoning.

"Mommy?" Allie piped up. "I miss Dave."

"I know sweetheart, me too," Erin said as tears sprung to her eyes.

"Remember when he made me Mickey Mouse pancakes for my birthday?" Allie asked with a smile.

"I do," her mom responded with a smile of her own.

"And then remember how he got maple syrup on his hand and forgot about it and then itched his face and his goatee got all sticky?" Clara added.

"And then he sweared a _lot_," Allie said in awe.

"Remember when we all went apple picking?" Ellen asked. Erin smiled sadly as the four of them began reminiscing. She wished Katie would come and join them, but she knew it would most likely take some action on her part to get the teen to rejoin the world.


	14. Chapter 14

This Crazy Thing Called Life-Chapter 14_  
><em>

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><p><em>Dear Diary,<em>

_Well, I'm writing this while sitting at my desk…if I had my choice, I'd still be camped out in my bed, but mom pulled a 'dad' on me and made me go downstairs for dinner tonight. Yeah, I'll bet she didn't realize what she was getting into when she put THAT plan into action…_

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"Did everyone wash up?" Erin asked as Clara, Allie and Ellen came into the kitchen for supper. They all nodded as she set the large pot of beef stew down on the table and then grabbed the bowl of mashed potatoes and brought it over. She was about to sit down when her youngest daughter's voice stopped her.

"Is Katie eating with us tonight?" Allie asked innocently. "I miss her."

"Me too, honey," Erin said gently as she thought for a moment. It had been a week since Dave had died, and it had been two days since she'd talked to Hotch. As much as she had hoped Katie would snap out of things on her own, she hadn't and Erin knew she was going to have to do something about it. It's not as though she expected her daughter to be bright and sunny, but she couldn't let her stay in her room anymore. If she wanted to be sad and mourn her father's death, that was fine...hell, she hoped like hell she would see _some_ sort of emotion from her, but she was going go through it alone, she needed to be surrounded by people who loved her.

As if reading her mother's mind, Ellen said softly, "It's been a week, mom."

"You're right, it has been," Erin agreed. "I'll go up and get her." She left the kitchen, made her way up the stairs and paused in front of her daughter's room. She prayed that Katie wouldn't fight her on this, because she didn't want to have to use Dave's tough love approach, but she would if that's what it took.

She inhaled deeply and then knocked on the door in front of her. She hadn't expected an answer, so she wasn't surprised when she didn't get one. She pushed the door open and walked into her daughter's dimly lit bedroom. The drapes were closed, so they blocked out most of the setting sun, and there was only a small, bedside lamp providing light for the entire room.

"It's dinnertime, Katie," she said gently to the lump under the covers. "Why don't you come down and join us?"

"Not hungry," came the muffled response.

"Come on honey, you haven't eaten with us in almost a week; your sisters miss seeing you at the dinner table." There was no response from the teen. "Katie, this is no longer a choice," her mother said firmly. "You are going to join us for dinner tonight, end of discussion."

"Fine," Katie said monotonously. She'd heard that tone of voice before and she didn't have the energy to argue with her mother. She figured she'd go down, sit at the table for half an hour and then escape back into her cocoon of blankets. She slowly extricated herself from all of the bedding and sat up on the side of her bed. "Do I have to?" She asked in the same monotone voice that scared the hell out of her mother.

Erin nodded, "It will do you some good to get out of your room for a little while and rejoin the land of the living." As soon as she said it, she wished she could take it back as it was a slip of the tongue, but her daughter didn't react to it in the slightest, which actually worried her more than if she had screamed and cried.

Katie slowly got to her feet and followed her mother down the stairs and into the kitchen. Once she arrived, she dropped her gaze to the floor as she sat down in her usual seat at the table. She knew she must look horrible since she hadn't showered since the funeral. She could feel how greasy her hair was and, judging by the way her youngest sister had scrunched up her face as she sat down, she figured she must not smell the greatest either but she didn't care; all she wanted to do was get through the meal and then go back into her bedroom where she could be alone with all of her swirling thoughts.

Everyone was uncomfortable at first; other than the funeral, this was the first time Katie had joined her family for anything since her father had died and the girls were all shocked at how pale, thin and just…hopeless and sad she looked. Ellen had spoken to her sisters while her mom had gone up to get Katie and she'd warned them not to say anything about her appearance; she told them to pretend that it was just a normal family dinner and they were doing exactly that and Erin was grateful for it. She knew if dinner went badly, it would take an act of God to get Katie to leave her room again.

While she piled Katie's plate with food, Erin asked her other daughter's about their day's activities. While the three Strauss girls had been deeply affected by Dave's death, they weren't mourning him as deeply as Katie was and they were doing other things during their bereavement time off from school. Ellen, knowing their mother wanted to be nearby for Katie, had taken her sisters to the mall and a movie that afternoon and the three of them were planning to return to school the following week.

As she listened to her sisters chatter on about the shopping they had done and the movie they had seen, Katie began to seethe inside. Her father just died, couldn't they have some fucking respect? Couldn't they at least _pretend _to be broken up about it? What the fuck was _wrong _with them? How could their lives have returned to normal so soon after one of the greatest guys in the world had just died? And her mother! She had professed to care about her dad; how could she get over him so quickly? What's more, how come it was so easy for their worlds to return to normal while hers was just darkness? Ever since she'd learned about her dad's death, she had felt like she was in a fog…like everything in her life was muffled, but now a fire was burning through that fog and it threatened to burst out of her.

By all outward appearances, Katie didn't seem any different; she was quiet, her eyes were downcast and she wasn't touching her food. "Did you hear me, Katie?" Erin asked. The teen simply swung her eyes towards her mother and gave her a questioning look. "I suggested that we all attend mass at Father Jimmy's church on Sunday in honor of your father, I think he would've liked that."

Katie just shrugged and looked at her plate…the plate that was still full of food; there was no way she was going anywhere ever again. If she had her way, she would hide out in her room for the rest of her life. There was a silence after her non-reaction and she could feel everyone staring at her, like she was a zoo animal, so she began to nervously tap her fork against the plate.

"Katie, you need to eat your food instead of playing with it," Her mother told her, as though she was a five-year old. Katie just stared at the food, knowing that she wouldn't be able to choke any of it down.

"Do you want me to make you something else?" Erin asked. She would make her whatever she wanted, just as long as she would eat something…and maybe snap out of the current state she was in.

Katie just shrugged and shook her head slightly in response to her mother's question. She was incredibly angry with all of them for moving on with their lives and she knew if she opened her mouth, bad things would happen. Unfortunately, her mother didn't stop talking, it was as if she just _had _to push her buttons.

"I wish you would actually _say_ something, instead of just shrugging and shaking your head," she said with a sigh.

At that moment, something inside of Katie snapped. She jumped up from her seat, grabbed her plate full of food and flung it to the floor. As it broke into hundreds of pieces, Katie screamed "FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" at the top of her lungs. "How was _that_ for saying something, mom?" She asked snidely and, before Erin could answer, she ran out of the room and up the stairs, where she slammed her bedroom door hard.

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><p><em><strong>AN 2: Don't forget to nominate your favorite authors and stories for the 3rd Annual Profiler's Choice Awards! Visit the Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum for the official rules and nominating form.**_


	15. Chapter 15

_This Crazy Thing Called Life-Chapter 15_

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><p><strong>~Don't forget to nominate your favorite authors and stories for the 2012 Profiler's Choice Awards! Check out the Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum for the nomination form and rules.<strong>

_Dear Diary,_

_I feel…drained…like I've just run a marathon (although I've never actually run one, so that's kind of a stupid comparison). I should have known better than to think that mom would let me get away with what I did at dinner, but I didn't expect her to be so determined to get me back into the real world again. I can't believe the way she broke through all of my barriers…the one's I worked so hard to build so I could get through dad's funeral. Part of me wants to swear at her even more than I already have since it seems like I can't stop crying anymore…_

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All four of the Strauss women sat in a stunned silence for a full minute after Katie's violent outburst and departure. As she sat in her chair, all Erin could think of was, 'be careful what you wish for because it might just come true.' Yes, she had wanted her daughter to show her emotions, but the way in which she had was totally inappropriate and she knew she couldn't let her get away with it.

Taking a deep breath, in order to fortify herself for the upcoming scene that was sure to take place, she stood up and pushed her chair up to the table. "I'm going upstairs to talk to your sister, you three stay down here and eat your dinner." With that, she started purposefully up the stairs.

"Katie was really mad," Clara said. "Do you think she'll be okay?"

Ellen nodded, "She's just really messed up right now. You remember how we felt after dad died?" Both Clara and Allie nodded. "We didn't even like dad that much and we were sad; can you imagine how it is for Katie? Dave was a great dad to her and now he's gone."

"But I miss Dave too and I'm not yelling and swearing at everyone," Allie said.

"Right, but it's different for her; she and Dave were really close and she misses him a lot. She's going to need us to be really nice and really understanding for awhile. Do you think we can do that for her?" Ellen asked.

Both of her sisters nodded. "Of course," Clara said. "She's our sister."

While her daughters were discussing things in the kitchen, Erin strode up the stairs and into her daughter's bedroom without knocking. Unsurprisingly, the teen had burrowed back into her cocoon of blankets. She walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge of it.

"Get out," a muffled voice said from under the blankets.

"No, you need to come out of there so we can talk," her mother said firmly.

"Leave me alone," Katie responded, actually using something other than the monotonous voice Erin had heard the past week.

"That's not going to happen, Katie." To Erin's surprise, Katie knocked the covers off of her and sat bolt upright.

"Get the fuck OUT of my room!" She screamed before burrowing back down into the layers of bedding.

Erin sat there for a moment in stunned silence, not quite sure of what she should do next but then Hotch's words flooded her brain. She stood up, moved to the other side of the bed, grabbed the mattress and quickly lifted up. The end result had Katie on the floor in a matter of seconds.

"Jesus Christ!" She said as she scrambled to untangle herself from all of the blankets. "What the hell, mom?" She yelled as she got to her feet.

"You can't keep doing this, Katie," she said as she moved closer to the teen. "You can't keep hiding from the world; you need to allow yourself to feel things and for the last week you've been trying frantically to ignore your emotions and it's not working." Katie glared at her but Erin kept going. "I know you're hurting and I want you to express your feelings and emotions but the way you just did it was totally inappropriate-"

"Well maybe if you would have left me the fuck alone like I'd asked, I wouldn't have been _inappropriate_ at the dinner table. But no, you just had to push, and push, and PUSH!" Katie shouted.

"You're damn right I did," Erin responded loudly. "Whether you believe it or not, I'm trying to _help_ you! I love you too much to let you waste away in your bedroom. I know you're sad and grieving and I don't want to stop you from doing that, but it needs to be done in a healthy way. So, from now on, you're only allowed to be in your bedroom during normal sleeping hours. If you want alone time, you can have it but it will be downstairs and not up here. Also, when we're done talking here, you're going to take a nice long shower and then you are going to rejoin the rest of your family downstairs for dinner _and _you're going to watch your language. Grieving or not, you know you're not allowed to talk like that and you know if your dad was here, he would be having a fit over what you've said tonight."

"Yeah, but dad's not here, he's DEAD!" Katie screamed. "And now I'm stuck here with a mother who never wanted me and a family I don't fit into! The worst part is how all of you have gotten over him so quickly. I thought you loved him, but I was wrong about that, wasn't I?"

"Katie, we all loved your dad quite a bit and we are still grieving over him, but you're right, as much as your sisters and I loved your father, we weren't as close to him as you were and it's been a little easier for us but that doesn't mean we don't understand what you're going through; if you would just let us in a little, you would see that. And you are NOT alone and you are NOT unwanted. I love you more than you could possibly imagine and we're going to get through this, honey, I promise." Erin watched as her daughter's anger seemed to drain from her.

"I miss him so much, mom," the teen whispered brokenly. Erin crossed the room, gathered her up in her arms and held her as she began to shake. "Everyone I love dies. Mom died, Haley died, dad died…what if you guys die too?"

"Oh honey," Erin breathed as she fought back her own tears.

Katie pulled out of her mother's arms and moved closer to her bed, which was still askew. "NO! I can't let you in, I can't get too close to any of you because it's going to hurt really badly when all of you leave too! I can't take this kind of hurt again!" Her legs buckled and Erin got to her just in time to catch her in her in another embrace. As they both sank to the floor, she tightened her grip around her daughter so she couldn't get away again.

"None of us are going anywhere, honey," she told her as tears poured down her own face. She felt like a monster…she knew that four words would make everything better for Katie…all she had to do was say 'your father is alive' and her pain would go away, but she knew she had to keep up the lie in order to keep everyone alive. She prayed that Katie would someday forgive her for what she was doing. "We're going to be a part of your life for a long time, I promise."

"But what if you're wrong?" Katie asked hysterically through her sobs. "After mom died, dad promised me that he'd be here for me, he promised that nothing bad would ever happen to him, but it did and now he's gone forever!" The teen was crying so hard, she was gasping for breath in between sentences. "Now he's not going to see me graduate from high school and college, he's not going to walk me down the aisle at my wedding, he's not going to play with his grandkids and it's not fair! It's not fair that I won't be able to turn to him for help or advice anymore! It's not fair that I only got to spend fourteen years with him!"

"I know sweetie, I know," Erin said soothingly as she rocked her slightly. She could feel Katie's tears soaking through her blouse and she was grateful that her daughter was finally letting her emotions out in a natural way.

"Why did it have to happen, mom?" She asked. She was crying so hard that her mother barely understood her. "Why did he have to die? Why didn't Aaron protect him? Why did that guy have to shoot him?"

"I don't know, sweetie. These things…I just don't know," Erin told her.

"Why-" whatever question Katie was going to ask next was drowned out in another, even harder, torrent of tears. She stayed in her mother's arms for the next half-hour or so, just releasing all of the emotions that she had held back since her father had died and, when she was done, she was beyond exhausted.

Erin, whose heart had broken as she held on to her sobbing daughter, finally felt her breathing begin to normalize. While there was still some hitching in her breathing, due to the amount of crying she had done, she had calmed down considerably. "Feel better," she asked as the teen pulled out of her embrace.

Katie nodded as she moved away from her mother slightly so she was out of her embrace and then rested her head against her shoulder. "I'm sorry mom, I've been acting like-"

"Like someone who lost someone who was very important to them," Strauss said as she wrapped her arm around her daughter's shoulders and pulled her closer to her. "You don't have to worry about apologizing to me for anything you've said or done, okay?"

"What about my sisters?"

"They know you're hurting so they'll forgive you too, although it would be nice if you went downstairs for a little while so they know you're okay. They've missed you."

Katie just nodded as she stared at the ground. "Okay," Erin said as she got up from the floor, "I'm going to draw you a bath and we'll get you nice and clean and then we'll go downstairs. Sound good?"

She nodded, "Yeah, but I can just take a shower, I don't need any help."

"I know you don't honey, but humor me, okay? You haven't eaten properly in a week, nor have you slept much and I don't want anything happening to you." Erin extended her hand and was relieved when her daughter took it and hauled herself up from the floor.

"Thanks mom," she said quietly as tears still leaked from the corner of her eyes.

"We'll get through this, Katie…you'll be okay."

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David Rossi hobbled into the rustic cabin and groaned. While there was electricity and indoor plumbing, the entire cabin was sterile and austere. The bedroom, living room and kitchen all shared the same space but luckily the drafts were minimal, as it was February in a tiny town in Maine, about 50 miles from Bangor. They had put him here because it was out of the way, yet he was close to a decent sized airport should he need to make a fast getaway.

As he sat down at the desk, he felt the stitches pull in his shoulder and he was reminded, yet again, of the gunshot wound he had sustained earlier in the week. While it hadn't been serious enough to keep him hospitalized, it wasn't as if the pain had suddenly disappeared, but it was better than being fully laid up due to the injury. At least this way he could begin his search for Dmitri Lazlov and end this whole thing sooner.

He opened the wide upper drawer and smiled when he saw a new model laptop there. He pulled it out, opened it and waited for it to boot up. He knew he would have internet access because he had seen the small satellite dish attached to the roof of the cabin when he'd walked in. Thanks to the three CIA agents who had escorted him to the cabin, he also had a truck, a wad of cash and a house full of groceries and supplies.

The log in screen popped up and he entered the username and password that was given to him by the agents. He pulled up a session of Firefox and immediately wanted to search for his own obituary, but he didn't, nor did he go to his daughter's Facebook page or any other familiar websites. He knew Dmitri's men would be monitoring everything and he didn't want to give himself away by making a stupid mistake. Instead he accessed the very secure CIA database and began perusing the files they had for Lazlov. He knew his daughter must be going through hell grieving for him and he already missed her, Erin, the girls and his former life and he knew the sooner he got Lazlov, the sooner he could return to everything familiar.


	16. Chapter 16

This Crazy Thing Called Life-Chapter 16_  
><em>

* * *

><p><em>Dear Diary, <em>

_Well, we cleaned out the townhouse this weekend…it's weird to know that I am never going to live there again. I've lived there with both my adopted mom (that still sounds so weird since I know her only as 'mom') and my dad and now both of them are gone. Yeah, I have my bio mom and my sisters, but it's different. I love them, but I really miss my dad and mom…I wish everything could go back to the way it was. It doesn't help that since mom has dishes and furniture and stuff, we gave most of dad's and my things away to charity. Even my bed and most of my bedroom furniture was put into storage since I have all of the stuff I need at mom's house. I just…I want...it really sucks._

xxxxxxxxx

As Erin pulled into the driveway of Dave and Katie's townhouse, she felt almost overwhelmed with dread at the task that lay ahead of them; both she and Aaron Hotchner had decided that in order to keep up appearances that Dave was actually dead, they needed to clean out and put the townhouse up for sale. Hotch would have it listed at an insanely high price so no one would actually buy it and Dave would have it once he was able to return, but it would be a pain in the ass getting it ready to be put on the market, not to mention the fact that Hotch would also secretly be putting all of Dave and Katie's belongings into storage. It was a large undertaking but it needed to be done.

Erin was also worried about what the day would do to her daughter's emotional stability. It had only been a week since her emotional breakdown and, while she was doing better now that she wasn't holding all of her feelings inside of her, she was worried that the emotional impact could set her back. Thankfully, Father Jimmy had been over to their house for dinner earlier in the week and he seemed to think that cleaning out the townhouse might actually help Katie with her grief; he thought it might give her some closure and allow her to begin moving past her father's death. Either way, Erin knew she would be keeping a close eye on her daughter throughout the day.

As Katie stepped out of the car with her sisters, she was surprised to see her dad's entire team there, and it looked as though Derek had brought a large, self-moving truck with him. While it was nice seeing all of them again, she couldn't help but notice the gaping hole her dad's absence left in the group. While she was fairly comfortable with the BAU team, she had never hung out with them without her dad and it was weird not having him there.

"Hey Katie, how are you doing sweetie?" Garcia asked as came up and gave the teen a hug. She hadn't seen the girl since her father's funeral and, while she knew things between her mother and sisters had gotten better over the past year, she still worried about her well-being with them. Thankfully Katie gave her a small smile.

"I'm…okay," she said as she pulled out of the embrace. "I wasn't at first, but mom, Ellen, Clara, and Allie have all been helping me and I'm doing better now."

"That's good to hear, Katie," Derek said as he approached them. The rest of the team followed and soon the group was standing there awaiting instructions. Thankfully, Erin took charge of the situation.

"All right everyone, thank you for coming today," she said. "Katie and I talked last night and here's what we decided. She's going to pack up her bedroom and bathroom while the rest of us get the rest of the house packed. All photo albums and knick-knacks from the living room should be saved and we have a list of items from the kitchen that will be going to our house. Anything not on the lists will be sold or donated to charity, including most of the furniture."

"Father Jimmy will be coming by at around one with sandwiches," Hotch said to the group. "Ideally, we should be finished with everything by then, except for Katie's bedroom." He then turned to the teen. "No one is going to rush you with your packing; you take as much time as you need, okay?" Katie nodded silently; now that this was actually happening, the sadness over packing up the house that she and her father had shared was beginning to hit her.

"Are you all right, honey?" Erin asked as she wrapped an arm around her daughter's shoulders.

Katie took a shaky breath, "Yeah, I'm fine, let's just do this."

"Okay, you heard the girl, let's get this done!" Derek said and they all started for the house.

"I'll pack up all of Mudgie's things and give them to Derek today," Katie told her mom as they walked toward the front door.

"Why?" Erin asked with a puzzled look on her face.

"Well…I just thought…" Katie let her sisters get farther ahead of them before she spoke again. "I just figured with Clara's compromised immune system and all that, you wouldn't want Mudgie living with us."

"Katie, if Mudgie was going to make Clara sick, it would have happened by now."

"But why has he been at Derek's all this time then?" The teen asked.

"Everything has been a little crazy since your dad died and I wanted it to settle down a bit before we brought Mudgie back home. I was actually going to ask Derek to bring him to the house tomorrow, if that's okay with you?" Erin asked. Sure, the dog added to her domestic workload and he could be smelly and needy, but he was part of the family and he belonged with them.

"That sounds great, mom," Katie said with a smile. "Thanks."

"There's no need to thank me, honey," she said as they walked through the front door of the townhouse. "He's part of the family and it's what your father would have wanted."

Katie nodded and then looked around in a daze; the last time she'd been at the townhouse was with her dad on the morning he died. She kept expecting to see him walk out of his office to greet them, but obviously that wasn't going to happen. Tears pricked at her eyes and she tried swiping them away without anyone noticing but, since she was in a room full of profilers, that was a pipe dream.

"You okay, Katie?" Emily asked and they all turned to look at her.

"Um yeah, I just haven't been back here since dad died; mom came to get most of my clothes and stuff for me."

"I can pack up your room and everything," Ellen told her. "You don't have to be here for this."

"Yes I do," Katie said softly. "I need to do this one last thing." She knew that by packing up the house, it would help her say good-bye to her dad and her old life. She knew she needed to do this in order to help her fully transition into living with her mother and sisters full-time. "It's okay, really," she said to everyone, since they were all staring at her worriedly.

"Do you mind if I take a look at your dad's book collection?" Reid asked. "I'm sure he has some fascinating criminology texts."

"Sure, take what you want," she said, "but could you leave his books for me?"

"Definitely," he said as he grabbed some boxes and headed for the den.

"I'll clean out his desk," Hotch called after the younger agent, who nodded in return. Hotch wanted to go through the papers that Dave had left behind and he didn't want the younger agent to see what might be in them.

"Okay everyone, let's get to work," Erin said and they all scattered to the various rooms.

xxxxxxxxxx

Five hours later, Katie was pulled from her reverie by a knock on her bedroom door. While Ellen, Garcia, her mother, Hotch, JJ and Emily had all offered to help her clean out her bedroom, Katie had turned down all of their offers and was working on it by herself. The problem with that, however, is that it let her get way too far into her head.

"Come in," Katie called out as she wiped her face; she was _so _freaking sick of crying! She was surprised to see Father Jimmy enter her bedroom instead of her mother.

"How are you doing, Katie?" The priest asked as he sat down next to her on the floor.

"I'm okay," she lied. What she really wanted to do was curl up on her bed and cry for the next few days. As much as she loved her mom and sisters, she really didn't want to move to their house; she wanted to stay in the townhouse with all of the memories of her dad and adopted mother.

"I have something for you," he told her and then handed her a silver coin. "It's a St. Michael medal, he's the patron saint of law enforcement officers. I gave this to your dad the day he graduated from the FBI academy and he's carried it in his wallet ever since."

Katie looked at him wide-eyed. "Really? I don't remember ever seeing it."

"He had it tucked away in a small pocket so he wouldn't lose it; Hotch got it out of his wallet for me at the hospital. Anyway, I thought you would like to have it."

"Thanks," she said as she ran her index finger along the surface of the medal. Seeing it reminded her of something else. She got up from the bed, gave the priest a hug and then headed for the door. "I'll be right back, I have to go ask mom for something."

"I should actually get back down to the kitchen, so I'll see you there." They both went their separate ways; Jimmy headed for the stairs while Katie made her way to her father's bedroom since her mother was in charge of cleaning it out. She just stood in the doorway for a moment as she took in the room. She saw her dad's jewelry and pocket stuff on the dresser, his slippers near his bed and his pajama's hanging out of the hamper and almost lost it. The room still smelled like him and it was as if he was there with them. At that moment, all she wanted was for him to walk out of the bathroom so she could hug him, but her mother came out instead.

"Katie, what's up?"

"Um, I was wondering if I could have dad's FBI ring. You know the one he made out of his twenty-year pin?"

"Of course you can," Erin responded gently. "I also came across your both your mother's and your father's wedding rings; I think they would want you to have those as well."

"Thanks," Katie said softly as she took the small box that held the rings.

"Your dad's FBI ring is actually at our house; he was wearing it the day he died and it was in the bag of his things I received from the hospital."

"Okay," the teen responded, barely holding back her tears.

"Come on," Erin said as she led her to the door. "Let's go down and eat some lunch."

"I'm not really hungry, I think I'll stay up here," Katie said and wasn't surprised to see her mother shake her head.

"Nope, no more skipping meals; you need to eat."

"Fine," Katie said with a sigh. Soon after, she joined up with both her blood family and her FBI family and mindlessly ate a sandwich.

xxxxxxxxxx

"I'm exhausted," Ellen said as she shut the front door of their house. "I'm so glad that Derek and Reid lugged all of Katie's boxes into the house because I don't know if I could have done it."

"Oh, I think we could have," Erin argued as she scratched Mudgie behind the ears. "We're women, we can do anything." Ellen rolled her eyes at her mother's feminist rhetoric while Allie and Clara smiled. Katie hadn't been paying much attention and had missed the exchange entirely; her mind was still on the townhouse and all of the stuff they had gotten rid of that day. It was almost as if her old life was done and she was starting over from scratch. She knew that wasn't quite accurate, since she'd known her mom and sisters before her dad died, but she felt disjointed about everything and she needed time to get it straight in her head. She was glad she had the next day to recover before returning to school on Monday.

School. She was nervous about going on Monday since it would be her first day back since her dad died. She knew all of her teachers would be understanding, but she was worried about how far behind she'd be. She also didn't want all of the questions and pitying stares she knew she would get from the other students. Thankfully, she'd have her older sister with her and Ellen had promised to watch out for her and run interference if necessary.

"How about we order a pizza for dinner tonight?" Erin suggested, not wanting to cook.

Clara, Allie and Ellen all perked up at the suggestion and began discussing various pizza toppings, while Katie remained silent. Mudgie correctly read her mood and came up and leaned in for a cuddle from the teen. Katie knelt down and threw her arms around the dog; she was so happy to have him there.

"Katie, is pizza okay with you?" Erin asked.

"Actually, I think I'm going to go to bed, I'm really tired." That's not why she wanted to go to bed, especially since it was only six o'clock in the evening, but she knew her mom wouldn't let her bury herself in a nest of blankets again, so she needed a cover story. Unfortunately, the older woman saw through her excuse.

"Sorry Katie, that's not going to happen," she said gently. "First, like I told you earlier today, you need to eat regular meals. Second, we agreed that you would only use your bedroom for sleeping for the time being." Seeing her daughter open her mouth to interrupt, Erin continued on. "And don't even try to tell me that you're going to bed; you and I both know you want to go up there to escape from the emotions of today."

"I hate profilers," the teen muttered and all of her sisters started laughed at that, which cut the tension that had been building in the room.

"I know, right? We can't get away with anything!" Ellen commiserated.

"Plus, mom always knows what I'm thinking," Clara added. "It's spooky."

"Hey, I'm not that bad!" Erin protested good-naturedly, which caused the girls to laugh harder. Even Katie smiled a little. "If you need some time to yourself, you can use my office," Erin continued, "But you will eat dinner with us, okay?"

Katie nodded and was about to respond, when Allie spoke up. "Can we watch movies while we eat? Ooooh, and can we put on our jammies and have a slumber party?"

Erin nodded, "That sounds fun, doesn't it?" She asked her other daughters. Clara and Ellen nodded enthusiastically, while Katie thought about it for a moment before she agreed.

"Katie, why don't you call Kayla and invite her?" Her mother suggested. "It's been awhile since you've seen her." Katie pondered her suggestion; she hadn't seen her friend since her dad's funeral and she kind of missed her. Plus, it would be nice to see her before school on Monday, since she would be another person who could run interference for her with well-meaning students.

"Okay, I'll see if her dad can drop her off."

"Great, everyone get changed, Katie you call Kayla and we'll meet in the family room in 15 minutes." The girls scattered as she picked up the phone to order the pizza.

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David Rossi was going nuts in his glorified shack in Maine. He hadn't been able to get online in days due to a snowstorm and he knew that every day he was stuck twiddling his thumbs, Dmitri got further away from him. Plus, everyday he was stuck in limbo was another day away from his family. In order to keep up appearances that he was actually dead, all of his belongings had been given to Erin, which meant he didn't have any pictures of his daughter with him, not even the small one he carried in his wallet. He missed her unbearably and, since he didn't have cable television or many books to read, he frequently thought of her and Erin and the other girls in order to get through the boring days.

It also didn't help that he'd been following a lead that could have led him to Dmitri's whereabouts when the internet went out. He used the satellite uplink the CIA had set him up with but, because of the cloud cover and the wind, it had been spotty for a few days before finally going out completely. The weather was supposed to clear up in the next day or so, but all he wanted to do was find the bastard before he somehow found out he wasn't dead and went after his friends and family. Dave knew it was a race against the clock and it was a race he intended to win, as long as the fates helped him out.


	17. Chapter 17

This Crazy Thing Called Life-Chapter 17

**~Wow, so I never meant to go so long without updating! Soon after I posted the previous chapter, I interviewed for a job in Asia and I got it! So between the holidays, moving home for a little while, getting my Visas and everything settled in the States and then actually moving to Asia and getting settled with my new job, fanfic kind of took a backseat. I'm not going to promise to updated this on a daily basis, but right now this story is speaking to me so I'm guessing it's the one I'll update most often.**

**~Thanks to everyone who has been following this story and for all of your kind reviews!**

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><p><em>Dear Diary,<em>

_I can't believe it's been three months since dad died…sometimes it feels like he's been gone forever and other times I miss him so much it hurts. There are times when I hear a song, or I see something on TV and I want to run and tell him about it, and then I remember he's gone and it makes me cry. I wonder if I'll ever get used to not having him around? Thankfully, mom, Clara, Ellen, and Allie have been patient with me and it's been nice being part of a larger family. My sisters also come in handy sometimes. Sure, we fight a lot, especially over the bathroom since there's just one for the four of us girls, but we help each other out a lot too._

xxx

Katie looked up from her history book when she heard the knock on her bedroom door. "Come in," she called out.

Clara popped her head in. "Sister meeting. Two minutes. My room," she said cryptically and then quickly shut the door behind her.

Katie smiled as she stuffed her notes into her textbook and then closed it; one of the things she had learned soon after she had moved in full-time was that her sisters took their meetings seriously and if one of them called one, all of the others were expected to drop what they were doing so they could attend. The meetings were called if one sister wanted to do or get something that they knew their mom wouldn't approve of and the goals of the meetings were to build a strong case for the sister to present to her. So far, Katie had taken part in a conference regarding a later curfew for Ellen, which their mother eventually said yes to, and one in which Allie wanted to get a hamster, which had been unsuccessful. It would be interesting to see what Clara's issue was.

Less than a minute later, Katie entered Clara and Allie's room and took a seat on the floor. Ellen walked in a second later and sat down next to her. Allie plunked herself between her two oldest sisters and waited for Clara to begin speaking.

"Thanks for coming to this meeting," she said as she passed a bag of Twizzlers around. While it wasn't required, the sister who called the meeting usually supplied junk food to her other three siblings.

"What's up Clara?" Ellen asked as she bit into the red licorice. "Mom's almost done cooking dinner, so she'll be calling us down pretty soon."

"I know, so I'll make this quick," she said and then took a deep breath. "I want to join the soccer team next fall."

"Good freaking luck," Ellen said as she grabbed another Twizzler. "You don't need a sister meeting for that, you need a miracle!"

"Why?" Katie asked, confused. "What's the problem with Clara joining the soccer team?"

"She's afraid I'll get sick again," her younger sister told her with a sigh. "Or hurt."

"Can soccer really make you sick? Didn't my bone marrow cure that?" If playing sports could make her younger sister have a relapse, there was no way Katie would support her.

Clara nodded; "It did, I'm cured, I even checked with Dr. Meiko about it and he says it's fine if I play soccer, but…" she trailed off.

"But mom's always been super overprotective of you," Ellen finished. "And you and I both know that this is a lost cause."

"Come _on_ Ellen!" Clara begged. "I went up against mom for you when you wanted to be able to stay out until 1230am on the weekends. You owe me!"

"Hey, I never said I wouldn't back you up on this, I'm just saying mom isn't going to go for it. I'll help you out, but don't get your hopes up."

Clara sighed. "I know you're right, but I have to at least try."

"I'll help you too," Allie piped up.

"How about you, Katie? Are you in?" Clara asked. "Because if you're on my side, it might carry more weight with mom since you're the one who donated the marrow."

"You're sure it won't cause a relapse in your disease?" Katie asked.

Clara nodded emphatically. "Like I said, I talked to Dr. Meiko and he said it would be fine for me to try out for the soccer team. In fact, he wished me luck."

"Okay then, I'm on your side."

"Great! Ellen, can you help me look online really quick?" Clara asked excitedly. "I want to see if I can find stories of people with my old disease who have played sports."

"Sure," Ellen said as they all moved into her room since she was the only one with her own computer. While Katie had a laptop, her mom stuck with her dad's rule of only letting her use it in the family room so she could be supervised. She hated that rule and she couldn't wait until she was as old as Ellen so she could have more freedom too.

A few minutes later, they all heard their mother's voice call up the stairs. "Girls! Dinner's ready!"

Ellen shut her laptop and they all thundered down the stairs in search of food.

Erin looked up from the stove as she saw all four of her girls come down the stairs at the same time. As she looked at their faces, she could tell that they were all thinking about something and that's when she realized they'd had one of their 'sister meetings.' Crap, that was never good; it was much harder to say no to one of them when they presented a united front. She wondered which one of them had called the meeting and what they wanted. She suspected she would find out in a short while.

Sure enough, once everyone had spaghetti on their plates and they'd said grace, Clara cleared her throat and began to speak.

"Mom, we had a sister meeting and…well…um…"

"Just tell her, Clara," Katie encouraged and Erin smiled; her daughter had come through the worst of her grief over Dave and she had adjusted well to living with them full-time.

"I want to try out for the soccer team next fall," the ten year-old said quickly.

Erin responded automatically, "No."

"But mooooom," she whined, stretching the word into numerous syllables.

"I'm sorry Clara, but you are not strong enough to play team sports and even if you were, I'm not going to risk you getting sick again."

"But I talked to Dr. Meiko and he said that playing sports wouldn't put me in danger of a relapse or of rejecting Katie's bone marrow," Clara protested as she handed her mother some printed sheets. "Here, you can read his emails!"

"It's not just relapse and rejection I'm worried about, Clara," her mother said loudly. "I'm worried about your strength; you still get tired very easily and your anti-rejection medications sometimes make you feel sick."

"But I'm getting stronger," she protested. "And I'm getting used to the way the medicine makes me feel! I really, really, REALLY want to do this, mom," she said pleadingly as she looked at her sisters for help.

"Seriously mom, if the doctor doesn't have a problem with it, why should you?" Ellen asked as she reached for the salad.

"Yeah mom, it used to be my bone marrow and I don't have a problem with her trying out for soccer," Katie said.

"You should see her, mommy; she's really fast on the field!" Allie chirped excitedly.

Erin took a deep breath so she wouldn't lose her temper with her daughters; as much as she loved the fact that they turned to each other for help by calling sister meetings, she always felt ganged up on when they approached her as a group. "I'm glad you all want to support your sister in her sporting activities, but you're not her mother; I am and what I say goes and right now I'm saying that Clara is not ready for the soccer team next fall. However-"

"You never let me do anything!" Clara interrupted loudly as she flopped back in her chair and began to pout.

"However," Erin continued, ignoring her daughter's behavior for the moment. "If you are still interested, I will let you try out the following fall."

Clara, who was near tears, thought for a moment. "So not next year, but when I start sixth grade?"

Erin nodded. "As long as you are stronger and in good health, I'll let you try out. Deal?"

"Is that the best I'm going to get?" She asked and her mom nodded. "Okay. Thanks mom."

"You're welcome, sweetie."

After that, they all talked about their days as they shared the meal. Erin learned that Allie had gotten 100% on her spelling test, that Katie continued to hate her algebra class, and that Ellen's crush had asked her out on a date for the following weekend. All in all, her girls seemed happy and that what was important to her.

As the meal wound down, Katie was the first one finished and she stood up to take her plate to the sink. "Hang on, Katie," Ellen said.

"What's up?" She asked as she sat back down. She began to get a funny feeling in her stomach as her mother and sisters looked at her with a sense of purpose in their eyes.

"We had another sister meeting last night and we invited mom," Ellen said, not making eye contact.

"What? Why wasn't I invited?" Katie asked, a bit indignant; they had a sister meeting without her but they invited their mom? That pretty much ruined the whole point of a _sister_ meeting!

"Because the meeting was about you," Ellen told her.

"Me?" Katie squeaked in a surprised voice. "What did _I_ do?"

Xxx

The days were dragging along for Dave as he attempted to locate Dmitri. He had messages out to all of the contacts he could trust and he hoped someone would get back to him soon since he didn't know how much longer he could live in his drafty shack without going insane. He had tried cooking as a way to relax while waiting to hear back from his people, but he found that the tiny little grocery store in town didn't have many of the basic ingredients he needed in order to make some of his favorite Italian dishes. He'd also tried writing as a way to pass the time, but he'd been struck by a massive bout of writer's block and he knew the only thing that could cure it would be to find Lazlov, kill him and then return home to his family.

As he plunked away on his laptop, trying to trace various transactions and meetings of Dmitri's, he wished for the millionth time that he could've let Garcia in on his secret. He had no doubt that the technical goddess could've found Dmitri by now, but that would have put her and everyone he loved in danger and he wasn't willing to do that. No, he would go the slow and steady route if it meant keeping his daughter safe. He prayed she had gotten over his death without too many emotional scars and that she was happy living with her mother and sisters and he hoped he would be able to re-join them soon.


	18. Chapter 18

_This Crazy Thing Called LIfe-Chapter 18_

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><p><em>Dear Diary,<em>

_You know what really sucks? When your mom and sisters totally gang up on you out of the blue! Sure, dad used to go after me about things he wasn't happy about, but at least he was just one person! And my sisters! They're supposed to be on my side and they had a sisters meeting with my mother about me? What was that all about? And, yeah, okay…they might have had a point with some of their things, but still! _

Xxx

No one seemed to want to answer Katie's question. As her mother, Erin knew she should probably step in and start speaking, but her other daughters had come to her to ask her for advice about Katie and she thought she should let them lead. However, she wondered which one would step up and speak first in their mini-intervention. Clara, who had already stood up to her about trying out for the soccer team, didn't seem interested in speaking up right now. Ellen, who was the one who had invited her to the sister meeting, was staring at her plate, and Allie was still stuffing her mouth with spaghetti. After a minute of uncomfortable silence as Katie glared at them, Ellen finally spoke up.

"We're worried about you, Katie," she said softly.

"Worried about me?" Katie repeated, surprised and confused. "Why are you worried about me? I've been doing fine lately! I've been doing all of my school work, I've only been sleeping at night, I've been going out with my friends, and I've been writing in that stupid diary you gave me." She glared at her mother as she listed the last item on her list. "So why are you so worried about me that you would gang up on me like this?"

"The diary isn't stupid, Katie," her mother admonished gently. "It's so you can let your thoughts and feelings out in a healthy way."

"Whatever," the teen muttered, still thinking it was a dumb idea.

"And we're not ganging up on you, honest!" Ellen protested.

"Well it sure _feels _like you are," Katie said as she sat back in her chair with an angry huff. "So again, why are you all worried about me? What did I do now?"

"You're getting too skinny!" Allie said from her place next to her mother.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"You haven't been eating, Katie," her older sister told her.

"Yes I have!" She protested indignantly as she held up her empty plate. "See? I cleaned my plate!"

"Yeah, but you hardly took anything to begin with!" Her sister argued.

"It's not just that," Clara said softly as she looked up from her plate. "It's like you're trying to change yourself into someone new."

"Remember last week when I had to stop you from changing your hair color?" Ellen asked. "You were in the bathroom with the bottle of blond dye all ready to go!"

"And you're dressing funny," Allie piped up. "You're not dressing like _you_ anymore."

"You all are crazy," Katie snapped. "You all are the ones with the problems, not me!"

"We're all worried about you, honey," Erin said gently. "We're all seeing you change and we're wondering why."

Katie let out an angry sigh, "It's not a big deal, I just want to look more like I am a part of this family."

"What do you mean?" Her mother asked.

The teen shrugged, "I don't know...when we're out as a family, it's always obvious that I'm the one who doesn't belong; I have dark hair, I'm chunky, and I dress differently than all of you do. I guess I just want to look like I actually belong here, not that I'm here because of an accident."

"Wait just a minute, young lady," Erin said sternly. "You _are _a part of this family and you most certainly belong here! No matter what you look like and no matter the circumstances that led you to living here full-time, you are just as much a member of this family as anyone else at this table."

Katie looked around and saw she was getting the evil eye from just about everyone, so she decided to backtrack a little. "I know that," she said, "But I guess I want to look like all of you too."

"But if you looked like us, then you wouldn't be _you_!" Allie exclaimed.

"Yeah," Clara piped up. "You're already beautiful, you shouldn't change anything!"

"And you are _not_ 'chunky'," her mother told her.

Katie shook her head, "Compared to all of you I am, that's why I've been eating less; I want to lose weight."

"Sweetie, you have a different type of body than we do," Erin explained. "You need to eat more to stay healthy."

"I don't care," the teen said stubbornly. "It's my body, so I can do whatever I want with it, even if it means dyeing my hair or going on a diet."

Her mother had had enough. "The hell you can! I'm your mother and I _do _have a say in what you do with your body, and if you think you're going to drastically alter your appearance, you have another thing coming. This ends now. You are not fat, or 'chunky,' or even the tiniest bit overweight and you are going to go back to eating your normal portions. You're also not going to change your hair color and you're going to dress the way you normally do. You do _not _have to change to be a part of our family!"

"But mom-" Katie started whining, but Erin would have none of it.

"I'm not joking, Katie," she warned. "If we have to sit at this table for hours every night until you eat a healthy dinner, then we will. Got it?"

Katie was shocked at the way her mom sounded so much like her dad but she also knew that, like her dad, her mother rarely made promises she didn't plan on keeping. "Fine," she said, glaring at everyone at the table. As soon as dinner was over, she retreated to her bedroom where she stayed until it was time for bed.

"So are you pissed at us?" Ellen caught her as she was brushing her teeth in the bathroom. Since all four girls shared the bathroom, it was an unspoken rule that unless someone was showering or using the toilet, the door remained open so they could share the sink and mirror.

"What do you think?" Katie snipped as she spit out her toothpaste. "The three of you totally ambushed me tonight _and _you brought mom into it! I thought sisters were supposed to stick together!"

"We were worried about you and we didn't know what to do. Hell, I'm _still _worried about you!"

"Why? What the hell is your problem?" Katie asked her older sister as she shoved past her and made her way into her bedroom. "Or do you want me to get mom so you can tell _her_?"

"God Katie, get over it!" Her older sister snapped. "Was it shitty to go to mom? Yeah, but we didn't know what else to do! And I'm worried about you because you never talk about Dave anymore."

"So? You never talk about your dad."

Ellen rolled her eyes at that. "That's because my dad was a psycho asshole who kidnapped and hurt you and mom. Plus, I wasn't very close to my dad, but you were to Dave."

That seemed to take the wind out of Katie's sails. "I know," she said as she crawled into bed. "I just…I don't know, it's been a few months and I just figured people were tired of me being sad about him."

"Wow, no," her older sister said. "No one got sick of you being sad; hell, everyone in this house understands that you miss him and that you loved him. Dave was a great guy and we _all _miss him and you can always talk about him, okay?"

Katie nodded. "Okay. Thanks El; I'm still pissed that you guys went and talked to mom behind my back, but I know you did it to help me."

"And I'm still going to help you," she said. "How about I talk to mom and see if she'll let you put some blond highlights in your hair? That way you won't be completely blond, but your hair will be lighter."

"That would be awesome!" Katie squealed as she gave her older sister a hug.

Xxx

Three weeks later, as he attempted to cook a small lasagna, Dave heard a ding from his laptop. He set the tray down on one of the small counters and took a few short steps to the living room. He picked up his computer and saw that he had a message from one of his CIA contacts in Rome. The message contained a video attachment and, as he watched it, Dave gave a loud whoop of happiness; the video contained security footage of Dmitri Lazlov outside of the Coliseum. He finally had an idea of where the lunatic was and if he knew that, he could track him.

Dave knew he had to be careful in his tracking, because if Lazlov even had a slight suspicion that he was alive, he wouldn't hesitate to kill everyone he knew and loved. No, as much as he wanted to fly to Italy to take this asshole out, he knew he had to play it safe, but at least now he had a solid lead. He prayed that he would be able to return home to his daughter very soon.


	19. Chapter 19

_This Crazy Thing Called Life-Chapter 19_

**~Don't forget to sign up for the May challenge at the Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum!**

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><p>The next three months were busy ones for the members of the Strauss family. As the school year ended, Clara and Allie had end of year field trips, while Katie and Ellen completed papers and studied for finals. For Katie, the end of year finals were a way for her to make up for some of the work she had missed while grieving for her father. Sure, teachers were not holding her time of bereavement against her, but she knew her teachers were expecting her to do her best. Ellen's final grades were also important to her, since she was finishing her junior year of high school she needed a high grade point average to attach to her college applications the following fall. Tensions ran high in the house for well over a week and they were all glad when the school year finally ended.<p>

Once the girls were on summer vacation, Erin took a week of vacation and the five of them spent a week on the beach in South Carolina. It was a nice getaway and it let them all relax for a little bit, but Katie couldn't help but feel like there was a big hole in their family vacation…a David Rossi sized hole, to be exact. She kept remembering all of the vacations she had taken with him and how he would chase her down the beach and throw her in the water, or how he would let her bury him up to his neck in the sand on the beach. Sure, she had fun with her mother and sisters, but it wasn't the same, nothing had been the same since her dad died. She tried to hide her feelings while on vacation because she didn't want them to think she didn't like vacationing with them, but her profiler mother had picked up on her emotions and she'd held her while she cried one night.

After their vacation, the three Strauss girls were off to camp for most of the summer. In the hills of Pennsylvania, there was a camp for the children of high-level government employees. While it was a normal camp experience for the kids, it was a very secure location and many of the campers had their own security details on top of the security offered by the camp. The Strauss girls had a detail of private guards, thanks to Dave's bank account, but they were not aware of it and their detail managed to blend in with all of the other security personnel.

Erin had wanted to enroll Katie in the camp, along with her sisters, but she steadfastly refused to go. Nothing her mother or her sisters said could get her to change her mind; not Allie's excitement over the platform tents they stayed in, not Clara's happiness over not having to be in the 'sick kids' camp for the first time, and not Ellen's enthusiasm at being a counselor in training. When Erin pushed the issue, Katie finally admitted that her dad had enrolled her when she was eleven and she'd been so homesick that he had to come and get her three days later. It was not an experience she wanted to try again and Erin didn't force her. Instead, while her sisters were away at camp, Katie worked part time in a bookstore that one of her mother's friends owned and she spent the rest of the time with her best friend Kayla.

It was weird for Katie to spend much of the summer alone with her mom; ever since they had met there were usually three other girls, not to mention her dad, clamoring for attention. It was weird, but nice and she found herself falling into some of the old routines she'd had with her dad. One of those routines was packing a lunch for her mother to take to work, since she knew the woman often skipped lunch during the day. Her father used to do the same thing and, once she found out about it, Katie began packing him a sandwich everyday and she started the same routine with her mother. She also found herself waking up early, even though she was on vacation, so she could have breakfast with her mom. Katie felt like she owed her mom for being so understanding and patient with her while she had grieved for her dad, so she tried to repay her by doing those little things for her.

xxxxxxxxxx

"Why can't I stay here by myself," Katie whined to her mom as she watched her pack a small suitcase.

"You're only fourteen years old Katie, I can't leave you alone overnight," Erin replied as she packed her cosmetics. She was taking a red-eye to New York City to give a speech at a law enforcement conference as a fill-in; the agent who was supposed to give the speech had been injured in the line of duty and she was a quick replacement. Thankfully, she had given many of the same types of speeches before, so she was confident she could recycle one and tailor it to the specific conference.

"I'm almost fifteen," she argued with a pout.

"Well right now you're acting like a five-year old," Erin shot back as she zipped up the bag. "Besides, you like Aaron and Jack, so what's the problem?"

"I _do _like them but I don't need a babysitter."

Erin sighed, "Aaron is not going to babysit you, he's just going to watch out for your safety," she said and then saw her daughter open her mouth to respond. "_Please _don't argue with me Katie; this isn't exactly how I envisioned my weekend either."

That took some of the wind out of Katie's sails. "But you'll be back on Sunday, right? We can still go to the museum?" The Smithsonian had an exhibit that both Katie and Erin wanted to see and it's last day was Sunday.

"Yes, I'll be back by noon, so we'll have plenty of time to see the exhibit, okay?"

"Okay," the teen said, knowing she had no choice in the matter.

"Derek will come by later tonight to pick up Mudgie, and Aaron should be here for you in about an hour," Erin said as she picked up her suitcase. "Make sure you're packed and ready by then."

"I will be," Katie said as she walked her mom to the door.

"Okay, I will see you on Sunday," Erin told her as she hugged her. "I love you."

"I love you too mom."

xxxxxxxxxx

An hour later, Aaron and Jack were standing in the foyer of the Strauss house waiting for Katie to finish packing. She finally came down the stairs carrying a large duffel bag.

"You know you're only going to be at our house for a day and a half, right Katie?" Hotch asked as he saw how much she'd packed.

The teen rolled her eyes, "I know, but I need all of this stuff," she told him.

"Okay, let's get going so we can head to dinner," he said as he hefted the bag onto his shoulder. As they walked out to the car, he could see a black car across the street and the two people in it were watching them intently.

"Daddy, can we get pizza?" His son's question pulled his attention away from the two men in the car, but he still had a bad feeling that he couldn't quite place.

"Sure buddy, as long as that's okay with Katie."

Katie nodded and Jack gave a whoop. "Yay! Pizza!" Hotch smiled at the two kids as he got Jack into his car seat and then got behind the wheel. As he pulled away from the curb, he noticed the black car following them. While he was driving, it hit him where he had seen one of the men before; he was a known associate of Dmitri Lazlov! Before he had 'died,' Dave told him where to find the copies of his files and he remembered seeing the guy in one of the pictures of Lazlov's gang. He almost swore out loud when he realized what was going on, but he knew he had to stay calm for the kids.

"Change of plans," he said as he accelerated and pulled onto a major highway. "I have to go to the office for a little while." He saw both Katie's and Jack's faces fall when he glanced at them in the rearview mirror, but it couldn't be helped since he knew he was racing the clock in getting them to somewhere safe.

"But daddy," Jack whined. "We were going to get pizza!"

"I'll order pizza to be delivered to the BAU," he promised. "And then I'll get you both set up with a movie, okay?"

"Fine," the seven year old pouted.

"Whatever," Katie said, knowing that she had a book and her iPod in her duffel bag.

Hotch got them to Quantico in record time and, as he turned into the FBI academy, he saw the black car drive by but the driver wisely did not try to enter the complex. As soon as he pulled into his parking space, Hotch whisked both kids out of the car and into the elevator as fast as he could. Once on the sixth floor, he moved them into Erin's office since he knew he would need absolute privacy to make his next telephone call. He got a movie set up, instructed them not to leave the room, and then left.

"Anderson," he said gruffly as the young agent passed by the office.

"Yes sir?"

"Do you have plans for tonight?"

The junior agent did, in fact, have a date for the night but he wanted to work on a BAU team so he said, "No sir."

"Good," Hotch said quietly, not wanting the kids in the office to hear him. "I have my son and Katie Strauss in Chief Strauss's office. Anderson, no one and I mean _no one_ other than myself, Erin, and the members of my team are to enter that office, understand?"

"Of course, sir," Agent Anderson said with wide eyes.

"And neither of those kids should _leave_ the office. Erin has a bathroom in there and a mini fridge stocked with water. If one of them has a problem, call me but do _not_ let them leave."

"I'll protect them with my life," Anderson promised.

"Thank you," Hotch responded, hoping that it wouldn't come to that. As he walked down the hallway, he pulled up an unfamiliar number in his contacts list. Once he got to his office, he closed the door and pressed the send button.

"Aaron, what the hell?" A familiar voice rumbled at him. "You know better than to call me! Is something wrong? Did something-" Aaron cut him off.

"Katie, Jack, and I were followed by one of Lazlov's men just now," he said. "Dave, I think they're onto us."

"Fuck! I must have set off an alert with my investigation," Dave said. "I had one of the CIA techs doing some heavy digging and he must've found out. Aaron he's in the DC area and I think I know where he specifically is. I'm coming home."


	20. Chapter 20

_This Crazy Thing Called Life-Chapter 20_

**~Thanks to everyone for the reviews, they feed the muse!**

**~Some of the lines in this chapter are taken directly from the episode 'It Takes a Village.' All credit should go to the writers of that episode.**

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><p>"Are you sure you want to do that, Dave?" Hotch asked his friend as he sat down at his desk. "You'd be putting yourself in a world of danger, not to mention the rest of us."<p>

"Aaron, if he has men watching my daughter and following you, then Lazlov knows I'm alive, which means all of you are already in danger," Dave told him firmly. "I'm heading to the airport; hopefully I'll be there in about three hours."

Hotch nodded, forgetting his friend couldn't see him. "I'll see you soon, Dave." They disconnected the call and, over the next hour, Hotch made many more phone calls. Once he was done, he checked on the kids and then added three more guards around Erin's office. After that, he looked at his watch and realized Erin's plane must have landed, so quickly made his way back to his office and called her.

"Hello Aaron," Strauss greeted pleasantly.

"Chief Strauss, you need to come home right away," Hotch said urgently.

"Why, what happened?" She asked as panic crept into her voice. She turned around to go back to the ticket counter. "Did something happen to Katie?"

Hotch gave her the lowdown about Lazlov's men following them and Dave's information and reaction. "Good God, my other daughters are in danger too!" She said, distraught at the idea of being so far from her children. "We have to bring them home!"

"I've spoken to the camp and the girls' security detail about this new threat and we all agree that, for right now, it's best to keep them where they are," he told her.

"Aaron," she started but he continued on.

"They are safe there, ma'am. Right now there is enough security staff to keep them safe from just about anything, but once they're on the road with only a few security guards, it will be much harder to protect them."

Erin released a shaky sigh and rubbed her forehead. "Are you sure, Aaron?"

Hotch recognized the abject fear in her voice and he knew he would feel the same way if he and Jack were separated during this event. "Erin, whether you believe it or not, you and _all_ of your daughters are a part of this family and I do not take chances with family. Your daughters are much safer remaining at camp than they are coming back here."

"All right," she said. "I'm going to buy a ticket for the return shuttle; I should be back in Quantico in less than two hours."

"We'll be here, ma'am."

xxxxxxxxxx

True to her word, one hour and forty-two minutes later, Erin Strauss strode into the BAU bullpen. "What's the latest?" She asked Hotch, who had come down from his office to greet her.

"Nothing new, ma'am," he said. "Lazlov's men haven't made a move and it's been quiet here," he told her as he led her into his office. "As you can see, the rest of the team is here and I was just about to brief them." He closed his office door. "Dave called me and he should be here within the next hour."

"The team is going to be mad that we lied to them, but will they be able to put their feelings of betrayal and anger aside to help us?"

"Erin, as soon as they hear that all of us, and our kids, are in danger, it will be more of a struggle to keep them from lining up to kill Lazlov. If anything, I'll have to stop the team from doing something reckless."

She nodded. "Good, that's what we need right now; please assemble them in the conference room, I'm going to go talk to Katie and then we can all meet."

With that, Erin strode out of the bullpen and down the hallway to her office. Once there, the guards moved aside and she entered the large room. She found Katie lying on the small sofa and Jack was curled up in the small wing chair. There was a Disney movie playing on the TV, but Jack was asleep and Katie was reading a book.

"Mom!" The teen exclaimed when she looked up from her reading. "You're supposed to be in New York!"

"I know, but I came home early."

"What's going on?" Katie asked as she sat up and Erin could hear the fear in her voice. "There are agents outside the door and they won't let us go anywhere, not even to the vending machines. Plus, Aaron drove here really, really fast and he looked worried, and no one will tell me _anything_!"

"I know honey, and I'm sorry about that," her mom apologized as she sat down next to her on the sofa and put her arm around her. "There have been a couple of threats made and, for right now, this office is the safest place for you and Jack."

"Threats? What kind of threats?" Katie asked as even more fear entered her voice.

"It's nothing specific," her mother lied. "It's simply based on some intel we received but for right now, we need you and Jack to stay here."

"What about Ellen, Allie, and Clara?"

"I talked to Aaron and he agrees that the best place for them is at camp; it is a very secure location," Erin told her.

"Are you going to stay here with us?" The teen asked in a high-pitched voice.

"I have to go out and catch the men who are making this threat, honey," she said.

Katie tightened her grip on her. "No!" She exclaimed. "You have to stay here! I can't lose you too!"

"Sweetie, nothing's going to happen to me," Erin said soothingly.

"That's what dad said, and then he died!"

Erin could barely understand the teen as she talked through her tears and she felt like a monster, both for scaring her, and because she knew that Dave would be walking into the building at any minute. "Katie," she said firmly, "This is not going to kill me; I am going to go meet with the team and we are going to figure out how to neutralize this threat. What I need you to do is stay in my office, no matter what. Can you do that?"

Katie nodded as she wiped her face. "Yeah, I have all of my stuff in my overnight bag."

"Good, because this is the safest place for you right now. Can you also keep an eye on Jack?"

"I will," she said. "But you have to promise to come back safely, okay?"

"I promise, honey," she said as she gave Katie a hug and then left the room.

Thirty minutes later, she walked into the roundtable room and faced the rest of the BAU team with Hotch.

"Everyone take a seat," Hotch said as he stood next to her.

"What's going on?" Derek asked as he read the body language of his leader. "Is everything all right?"

Hotch launched into an explanation about Dmitri Lazlov and how he and Dave had managed to cross paths. He told them about their history, how Lazlov had killed Janet with the hope of also killing Katie, and how the man had made serious and credible threats against all of them. He showed them the files he had and he had Garcia put his picture up on the plasma screen. Then he got to the part he was sure the team would not like.

Hotch took a purposeful breath. "Five months ago I made a decision that affected this team," he started and then was interrupted by his section chief.

"We," Strauss corrected. "_We_ made a decision that affected this team." She would be damned if she let Aaron take the fall for this by himself.

"We made a decision that affected this team," Hotch corrected. "As you all know, Dave was shot while we were questioning a group of suspects. He had lost some blood, but the bullet wound was not severe and the doctors were able to stabilize him and he was airlifted to Bethesda in a covert operation. His identity was strictly need to know. He was taken by the CIA to an undisclosed location and he was left to build a new profile of Lazlov and to search for him via the internet and tips from his most trusted contacts. He was given a new identity, none of which we had access to, for security."

They all stared at him incredulously and it was JJ who spoke first. "He's alive?" She asked in disbelief.

"But we buried him," Reid added in the same tone of voice.

"As I said, I take full responsibility for the decision. If anyone has any issues, they should be directed toward me," Hotch said.

"To us," Strauss clarified. "Both of us, along with Dave, made this decision."

"Any issues?" Garcia said angrily. "Yeah, I have 'issues'! It's bad enough you lied to us, but you lied to Katie?" The technical analyst screeched. "You let her believe her father died! You made her grieve for him! Do you know what it feels like to lose a parent at such a young age? Do you know what that did to her?"

"I know it must have been hard for her," a deep voice said from the door. "And I am going to spend the rest of my life making it up to her." David Rossi strode into the room and stood next to Hotch and Strauss, but it wasn't the David Rossi the team remembered. No, this David Rossi was wearing faded jeans, a threadbare flannel shirt and his facial hair had turned from a well-trimmed goatee into a full beard. "But I did what I had to do, and I don't think there is a parent alive who wouldn't die for their child."

"Dave, welcome back," Hotch said as he clasped his mentor's hand and shook it.

"David," Erin breathed, wanting nothing more than to fall into his embrace, but they had work to do and the reunion would have to wait until they had less of an audience.

"I know I owe all of you an explanation, but right now we need to focus on Lazlov. He is a very dangerous man and we are all in his crosshairs."

"I briefed the team," Hotch told him. "Where do you think he is?"

"The bastard bought a high-end apartment building in DuPont Circle and he's using as an underage whorehouse. He kidnaps girls between the ages of ten and sixteen and then his wealthy clients pay him a large sum of money to spend the night with them. He drugs the girls during the day and wakes them at night so they can be active participants in the sex act."

"Good God," Emily exclaimed, disgusted.

"Dave, how reliable is your intel on this?" Hotch asked.

"It's very reliable, Aaron," Rossi responded. "I was about to contact you when you called me and told me you were being followed. My guess is that my investigation set off some alarms for Lazlov and his cronies."

"Okay, I'll need some time to coordinate a raid. We'll all meet back here in two hours." With that, Hotch left and the team followed. As angry and betrayed as they all felt, they all welcomed Dave back as they left, and Garcia even gave him a hug.

"Alone at last," he said once the room was empty.

"Yes we are," Erin said. They both stood awkwardly for a moment and then, as if they'd had the same thought at the exact same time, they fell into each other's arms and shared a long, passionate kiss.

"I've dreamed about doing this for more than five months," Dave told her when they finally came up for air.

"Me too," Erin told him as she gazed into his eyes. All of the lonely nights she'd spent praying for their nightmare to be over, and now it was finally drawing to a close. They stayed like that for a few minutes, until Dave finally broke the silence.

"How's Katie?" He hoped Erin would keep the answer simple since he didn't know if he could bear to hear all of the gory details of her grief and how it had affected her, especially right before he went on a raid to take down a major crime figure.

Thankfully, she read his emotions and simply answered, "She's fine. She knows something's up and she's worried, but she's fine overall. Do you want to see her?"

A look of sadness came over his face. "More than you can possibly imagine, but I can't right now. This raid is going to be dangerous and I don't want her to have to mourn me again if I don't make it out alive."

"Stop that kind of talk!" Strauss said sharply as she swatted his shoulder. "You're going to be fine! If you think I'm letting you go again, you're crazier than I ever gave you credit for."

"There's the Erin Strauss I know and love," Dave said with a grin. "Bossy to your very core, aren't you?"

"You're damn right I am," she told him in a gentler tone of voice. "I have Katie and Jack holed up in my office under guard, but it's probably best if you stay in Aaron's office with the door closed and the blinds drawn. I'll tell the rest of the team to keep your life status under wraps."

"Okay, but after this is all over, you owe me some alone time, since you won't let me take you right here on the table."

"Trust me David, that is one debt that I will gladly pay," she said with a smile.


	21. Chapter 21

_This Crazy Thing Called Life-Chapter 22_

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><p>"Easy, JJ!" Dave exclaimed as he sat nervously in his boss's office. "It feels like I'm being shorn back there!"<p>

"Good God Dave, quit being such a freaking baby! My son behaves better than you when getting his haircut," JJ said as she cut off a lock of his hair.

"But you're cutting too much off," he whined as he saw more hair fall on the ground.

"When you finally see your daughter, do you want her to think you've turned into some kind of wild mountain man? Because right now, that's what you look like," JJ told him as she continued to cut his hair.

Dave opened his mouth to rebut her description, but the office door opened and a feminine voice said, "She's right David, you look much better with shorter hair. Besides, JJ is doing a great job."

"Thank you ma'am," JJ said as she studied Dave's head to make sure the sides were even. "You're good," she told him as she removed the towel she'd wrapped around him.

He grabbed the hand mirror and studied his reflection. "Hmmm, not bad JJ, not bad at all," he said, impressed by her skill.

"Thanks; I cut both Henry's and Will's hair, so it wasn't that hard."

"Now all I need is a shave and I'll be back to my old self," Dave said, still looking in the mirror.

"Well, you have just enough time for that," Hotch said as he entered his office and looked distastefully at the hair on the floor of his nice, clean office. "Everything is organized and we leave to raid Lazlov's place in twenty minutes."

"Okay, I'll make it quick," he promised. "Got a razor I can borrow?"

Hotch opened a desk drawer, pulled out an electric razor and tossed it to his friend. "Use the bathroom down the hall please." Dave nodded and Hotch continued. "Do you have a Kevlar vest, ma'am?"

Strauss nodded, "I had one of the agents grab it from my outer office so as not to worry Katie."

"Vest?" Dave asked confused. "Why do you need a vest?"

"Because I'm coming with you," Erin told him as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Like hell you are!" He yelled. "This is going to be a dangerous raid and I'm not going to risk your safety!"

"I'm sorry you feel that way David, but I assure you that I _am _going on the raid, whether you like it or not," Strauss said calmly, even though she was boiling mad on the inside. Who the hell was he to tell her what she was and was not going to do?

"Think again Erin; you're staying here and that's final!" With that, Dave strode out of the office, down the hall and into the men's room. Erin stayed in Hotch's office for a few seconds before the anger and frustration she was feeling took over her brain. She followed her lover's path and, without a second thought, barreled into the men's room. Two agents were in there using the urinals, but once they saw the furious section chief, they zipped up and quickly left the room.

"I don't know where you get off thinking you can issue me orders David, but I assure you that I _am _going on the raid," Strauss said in a steely voice.

Dave narrowed his eyes at her in the mirror. "Erin-"

She didn't let him get any further in his protests. "If anyone shouldn't be going on the raid, it's you. Technically you are not an agent, so you really have no place on the team right now," she reminded him.

Dave turned to face her. "If you think I'm going to wait on the sidelines while the team takes down Lazlov, you're out of your fucking mind! He's threatening my family, for Christ's sake!"

"I know that, because it's my family too!" Erin shouted. "Did your many months of solitude lower your IQ? I'm going on this raid for the same reasons as you; Lazlov is threatening my family and if there is one thing you should know about me, it's that I don't back down from a fight!" She took a calming breath. "Finish shaving, we leave in fifteen minutes." And with that, she left the restroom and went to get her bulletproof vest.

xxxxxxxxxx

An hour later, Dave faced one of his worst nightmares. The BAU team, assisted by other various tactical teams, had raided the building where Lazlov and his men were selling the bodies of underage girls. Most of the men closest to Lazlov were dead, and the ones who were still alive were new cohorts of his and they had given themselves up as soon as the SWAT team had kicked in the doors.

They had also recovered the girls that had been spread out among various apartments and, while they still had a build-up of drugs in their systems and were malnourished, for the most part, they were uninjured. The young girls would, however, have to worry about STD's, pregnancy, and their emotional healing would take awhile, but they had not been physically injured or deformed. The number of high-level politicians and international officials that had been arrested in the raid was staggering and it turned everyone's stomach's to know how many lawmakers found young girls to be sexually attractive.

The only person they hadn't gotten was Lazlov himself. They had the perimeter around the building sealed, so he had to still be in it, but they didn't want to waste valuable time looking for him. Dave, who wanted the ordeal to end that night, was in no mood for a room-to-room search of the large building, so he took a more direct route to get the information he needed. Hotch and Derek were questioning one of the men in an apartment when Dave strode in, walked up to the guy and backhanded him across the face.

"Dave man, what the fuck?" Derek shouted as he watched his mentor assault the guy they had in custody.

"Where is he?" Rossi said forcefully.

"Fuck you man, I don't have to tell you shit!" The thug yelled as he spat blood on the floor.

"Wrong answer, asshole," Dave said as he backhanded him again. To everyone's surprise, both Hotch and Strauss just stood by the door and watched as Dave beat the shit out of the low-level gangster.

"Now, where the fuck is he?" Rossi repeated, his voice a bit deadlier sounding this time.

"I don't know who you're talking about," the guy said, with a bit less conviction.

Dave just shook his head and backhanded the other side of the guy's face. "Rossi, stop!" Derek shouted as he tried pulling the older man away. "You know this is wrong; you're an FBI agent for Christ's sake!"

"No, you're wrong Derek," Dave said as he tore out of the younger man's grip. "I'm not an FBI agent, not right now. Now I'm a man whose family is being threatened and I'll do anything to prevent those threats from becoming reality."

Emily, who had been standing near the back of the room, looked at her two bosses. "Hotch, you're okay with this?"

The stoic man thought for a minute and then nodded. "Lazlov's threat is against all of us, including our kids; he has to be stopped."

"None of you need to be a part of this," Strauss said. "All of you can join the various teams that are searching the building; we can handle this from here."

"I'm staying," JJ said, knowing her child and husband had likely been included in those threats.

"I'm staying too, that's what families do," Reid said.

Emily nodded her agreement, "I'm sure as hell not leaving."

"Derek, what about you?" Hotch asked.

Morgan just shook his head. "Do what you gotta do, Rossi."

Dave, who was tired of the whole ordeal, simply walked up to the man in custody and put his gun to the middle of his forehead. "You have exactly five seconds to tell me where Dmitri Lazlov is hiding before I splatter the few brains that you have all over this wall. Do you understand?"

"Whatever man, you're not going to shoot me."

"Five, four, three, two," when the countdown reached two, Dave cocked his gun and that broke the thug's resolve to stay silent.

"Okay, okay!" He yelled. "Lazlov's got a panic room in one of the apartments on the sixth floor. It's not like a real panic room, though; it's just loaded with weapons and drugs. That's all I know, man!"

"Reid, Emily, get this piece of shit out of here; the rest of you are with me," Dave ordered.

The team, along with three of the other tactical groups that were searching the building for Lazlov, split up when they reached the sixth floor so they could search the three apartments simultaneously. As he moved stealthily through one of the apartments, Dave felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise and he knew something was about to happen. He wasn't wrong.

"So we meet again, Agent Rossi," a voice with a heavy Russian accent said. Dave whipped around and saw Dmitri Lazlov standing behind him. The only thing keeping Dave from shooting the bastard was that he had an arm wrapped around his lover's neck and a gun resting against her temple.

"Let her go, Dmitri; this is between you and me." Dave had his gun trained on the mobster's forehead, but he knew that if he took the shot, Lazlov would fire his weapon and it Erin would die.

The rest of the teams heard the ruckus and entered the room. When they saw Strauss in Lazlov's clutches, they trained their weapons on the man as well.

"This isn't just about you and me," Lazlov said, as though the other people weren't in the room. "It's because of you that my wife and son were killed!"

"That was _not _my fault!" Dave said vehemently. "You are an international criminal and I helped put you in jail; the deaths of your wife and son are not on my hands. The death of _my_ wife, however, IS on your hands."

"Do you think I feel bad about that, Agent Rossi?" Lazlov said with an evil smile. "She was collateral damage; you were getting too close and I needed to distract you. As I told you before, you're lucky your daughter wasn't in the car with her, since my goal had been for both of them to die."

"That's it," Erin said from her position within Lazlov's clutches. "Somebody needs to shoot this son of a bitch now!" Unfortunately, no one in the room had a clear enough shot and they were not going to risk accidentally hitting her.

"Your daughter really is lucky, Agent Rossi," the Russian Mobster continued. "Once my people alerted me to the fact that you were still alive and investigating us, I had planned to take her from your house and bring her here. A pretty girl like her would have fetched a high price. Plus, I'm betting that, for her first night at least, I could have sold her as a virgin. The money I could have made off of her…pity."

Dave had to fight to keep control once he'd heard Lazlov's plans for his daughter. The only sign that he'd been affected by Dmitri's words were the throbbing of the vein in his forehead and the tightening of his hand on his gun.

"In fact, my men were just about to move in on her when Agent Hotchner arrived," Lazlov continued, knowing he was getting to his nemesis. "Even then, I ordered my men to follow his car and ambush them on a country highway. Unfortunately, Agent Hotchner got the children to the FBI complex too quickly; I'm sure the young boy would have fetched a high price on the open market."

If any of his team members had taken their eyes away from Lazlov and Strauss, they would have seen murderous rage in Hotch's eyes. He wanted Dmitri to die slowly and painfully for even _thinking _about selling his son to the highest bidder.

"Here's how it's going to go," Dmitri said, as he moved with Erin toward the door. "You're going to let me walk out of here with her and then, if you're really lucky, I'll let her go unharmed and you'll be able to-" his words were cut off when Strauss suddenly went limp in his arms. Lazlov wasn't expecting the heavy weight and, as a result, Erin slipped down so her head was level with his chest. That was all the teams needed; they all opened fire and, by the time Lazlov's body hit the ground, there was not much of a head left on it.

"ERIN!" Dave yelled as she fell to the ground with Lazlov's body. "Are you hit?" He knelt down and began running his hands all over her body.

"I'm fine David, I just had the wind knocked out of me from the fall."

"That was a fucking stupid thing you did!" He snarled as he pulled her into a sitting position and then yanked her into a fierce embrace. "You could've been killed!"

"He was going to kill me anyway, so I took the one chance that I could; you would have done the same thing," she argued.

"Shut up," he told her, knowing she was right. He held her for a few more moments and then released her. "Come on, I want to see our daughter."

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><p><em>**Dave and Katie's reunion is up next!**<em>


	22. Chapter 22

_This Crazy Thing Called Life-Chapter 22_

**~This is a REPOST of Chapter 22, not an entirely new chapter. I originally posted this chapter when fanfic was not sending out email alerts and since this is kind of an important chapter, I thought I would repost it so the alerts go out. Sorry if you've already read it...I hope to have the next chapter posted within the next day or two. *crosses fingers*  
><strong>

**~Also, if you reviewed chapter 21, I replied to your review but you probably didn't get that email alert either. Anyway, thanks to everyone for all of the reviews, favorites, follows, etc!**

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><p>The ride back to the BAU was largely silent. Dave and Erin sat in the backseat of one of the SUV's and cuddled, while Hotch drove and JJ rode in the passenger seat. The rest of the team followed in another SUV. Everyone in both vehicles was exhausted; the paperwork and processing of the scene had taken hours and it was nearly seven o'clock in the morning. The regular members of the BAU team still had some work to wrap up at the office, but they mostly wanted to see the reunion between Dave and Katie.<p>

"Hey Hotch, can I borrow your phone?" Dave asked. "I want to hire a couple of guys to move some of the stuff back into the townhouse. It's empty, right?"

"It is, but you realize all of your accounts are frozen, right?" Hotch asked as he drove. "You're technically dead and you won't have access to any of your money until we resurrect you."

"Dammit!" Dave said with a frustrated huff. "I forgot about that! I suppose Katie and I will have to sleep on the floor tonight."

"You're taking her back to the townhouse?" Strauss asked, surprised.

"Where else would we go?" Dave asked, confused.

"It's just…things have changed, David," Erin told him. "I'll let you have her to yourself for a little while, but we're going to have to revisit our custody arrangement."

"What do you mean?" Dave asked as irritation crept into his voice.

"I've had her full-time for over five months and I can't go back to seeing her only on the weekends and when you're out of town. I won't do that to my other daughters and I won't do that to Katie," she said firmly. Lover or not, if Dave thought he was going to whisk her daughter out of her life again, he had a hell of a rude awakening coming his way.

"Dammit Erin, we had a deal!" Dave started, but the section chief cut him off.

"I know we did and I'm sure we'll be able to come to another agreement that everyone can live with," she said diplomatically. "Look, we don't have to talk about it right now; let's focus on Katie instead. Once she gets over the fact that you're alive and she's able to really think about things, she's going to be upset."

"You mean 'pissed as hell,' don't you?" Dave asked.

"She'll be angry, but she's also going to be confused and hurt. Your death was hard on her and she's going to look back at her time of grief and wonder why I never told her about you, and that's going to be bad."

"I know," he said with a sigh, "But for right now, I just want to see her and hold her."

xxxxxxxxxx

They arrived at the FBI academy an hour later and the entire team made their way to the sixth floor. Once there, Erin told Dave to wait in Hotch's office until she had a chance to bring Katie to the conference room and talk to her since she didn't want her daughter bumping into her 'dead' father in the hallway. With Dave secure in the unit chief's office, Erin made her way to her own, carrying breakfast for the two kids. She walked past the guards and into the office, where she found Jack asleep on the floor and Katie reading a book.

"Hey, I thought you would still be asleep," Erin said softly as she came further into the room.

"Mom, you're back!" The teen said happily, as she dropped her book. She stood up and gave her mother a tight hug. "And you're okay!"

"I told you I would be fine, Katie," Erin reminded her, leaving out that she had nearly died during the raid.

"And did you take care of the threat? Is it safe for me and Jack to leave your office?" She asked as she resumed her place on the couch.

"Yes, the threat is gone," Erin said as she set the bag of food down on the table. "I brought you breakfast."

"Ooooh, you got McDonald's!" Katie exclaimed quietly as she dug into the bag. She pulled out her breakfast sandwich and ate it quickly. While she ate, Erin sat next to her with her arm around her; she knew once Dave was officially 'alive' again, things would change between her and Katie. She knew her daughter would feel betrayed by all of the lies and she didn't know when the teen would let her sit with her like this again.

All too soon, in Erin's opinion, Katie finished her meal and stood up. "So, can we go home now?"

"In a few minutes," her mom told her as she also got to her feet. "I need to talk to you first, but not here; how about we go to the conference room?"

"Why not here?"

"Because I don't want to wake Jack."

"Okay," Katie said. It sounded like a good reason, so she followed her mother out of the office and up to the conference room. As they left, one of the guards moved into the office so Jack wouldn't be alone when he woke up.

Dave, who was waiting not so patiently in his best friend's office, heard his daughter's voice out in the bullpen and it took every bit of willpower he possessed to not go out and crush her in bear hug. Considering she still thought he was dead, he knew that would be a bad idea, but he wanted to do it anyway. He quietly moved toward the window in Hotch's office, slowly lifted one of the slats in the blinds and peered out.

He was surprised to see that her hair was lighter. While it was still brown, it was a much lighter brown than it had been five months ago. She had also grown into her body while he'd been holed up in Maine. When he'd 'died,' Katie had been a gangly teen who had been clumsily trying to get used to her new body, but now she walked with a confidence and poise he hadn't seen in her before. It seemed living with her mother had rubbed off on her, since her stride was something he had seen in the older woman many times before.

Once in the conference room, Katie was surprised to find Aaron and Garcia waiting for them. She had also seen Emily, Derek, and Spencer lurking around outside of the room, so she knew that what her mother was about to say was big. She sat down in a chair and waited for her to begin.

Erin took a second to think about what she was going to say, and then she took a deep breath. "Honey, I haven't been entirely honest with you over the past few months." Katie's brow furrowed and she waited for her mother to continue. "When your father was shot, there was an escaped international criminal after him. He'd made contact with your dad and he threatened everyone in our family and everyone on this team and the threats were deadly ones. Your dad knew this man could, and would, carry out the threats, so when he was shot, he knew it would be best for everyone if the bullet wound was a fatal one."

"Okay," Katie said, not really understanding where this was going. Of course the bullet wound had been fatal, her dad had died from it.

Hotch picked up the explanation. "Your father talked to us before his surgery and he told us about the threats and we agreed with his assessment. After his surgery, your dad was taken to an undisclosed location so he could track down the man who was threatening all of us. He lived under a new identity and it was imperative that none of us contacted him; if his cover was blown, all of our lives would be in danger again."

"Hang on," Katie asked, very confused. "Why would you take his body to an undisclosed location? And why would you give a dead man a new identity?"

"Sweetheart," Erin said as she sat down next to Katie and took her hand. "Your father isn't dead, he's alive and well." She saw a range of emotions pass across her daughter's face as she tried to process what she had just said.

"What?" The teen breathed in disbelief.

"Honey, Dave is alive; in fact, he's in this building."

"No…no, he can't be. I went to his funeral, I watched as they buried him! We cleaned out all of his stuff, there was-" She was cut off by a deep voice from the door.

"I'm here, Katie Belle," Dave said gently, trying not to startle her.

Katie whipped her head around and stared at the man in the doorway for a full minute as she tried to process what was happening. "Dad?" She finally whispered. she was wide-eyed and her face was an unnatural shade of white.

"It's me, honey," he said tenderly as he came into the room.

"No, you can't be here, you're dead!" She said as confusion colored her every word. A large part of her wondered if this was a dream; she'd had many like this over the past five months but none of them were quite so vivid.

Dave's eyes filled with tears as he watched her try to process everything that had happened in the past few minutes. "I didn't die, Belle; I'm right here.

Without a word, Katie got to her feet and took a few unsteady steps toward him. She reached her hand out and touched his arm. "You're real," she whispered in stunned disbelief.

Her dad nodded. "I'm here honey, and I'm never going to leave you again." With that, Katie's look of disbelief turned into dawning and tears pooled in her eyes. Dave stepped toward her and engulfed her in a nearly bone crushing embrace.

"I can't believe you're really here; God, you're alive!" The teen said with a touch of confused hysteria in her voice as she fiercely returned the hug.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Katie Belle," her dad said as he continued to hold her. Katie just shook her head against his chest. Her emotions were a jumble as she tried to process everything, but at that moment her dad was alive and she felt safe in his arms and that was all that mattered.


	23. Chapter 23

_This Crazy Thing Called Life-Chapter 23_

**~Slight spoiler for the Season 8 finale: If you've watched it, rest assured that what happened in that episode will NOT happen in this universe!**

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><p>As Dave continued to hold his daughter in his arms, he felt like he was finally able to fully exhale for the first time in months. While he'd been fairly certain that Lazlov had believed his faked death, at least until the previous day, he had worried about his loved ones the entire time he had been in seclusion. Now that he knew Lazlov was no longer a threat, he felt a relief he had never known before.<p>

Hotch, who had been watching the emotional reunion, got up and moved toward the door. "Come on Garcia; let's give them some privacy." The technical analyst nodded and followed her boss out the door. To their surprise, Strauss joined them outside of the conference room.

"I didn't mean you had to leave, ma'am," Aaron said quickly as his section chief shut the door behind her. "Obviously you're part of the family and you should-"

"No, Dave and Katie need some time alone," she said firmly.

Garcia had a mild look of disgust on her face as she stared at her two bosses. "I can't believe the three of you did this to her," she said in a voice that oozed both disappointment and anger.

"We had no choice," Strauss said defensively. "There was a madman out there and if Dave hadn't 'died,' all of us would have been in grave danger."

Garcia shook her head slightly. "With all due respect ma'am, that's crap and you know it."

"Penelope," Hotch warned, but the normally cheerful woman wouldn't have any of it.

"No Hotch, you can't tell me that the best course of action was to make an already confused and vulnerable teenager think her father had died," Penelope said angrily. "You saw how she mourned him! You saw how messed up she was after he had supposedly died. Do you really think that was better for her? You honestly expect me to believe that you and Rossi, who have been called 'the greatest minds of the FBI,' couldn't have come up with a better plan? Maybe a plan that didn't involve psychologically scarring a fourteen year old girl for life?"

"You don't have to remind me of how hard it was for my daughter," Erin said frostily. "I lived through her mourning her father, I picked up the pieces when she shattered, and I was the one who fought like hell to make her whole again."

"If you had told her the truth, if you had let her go into hiding with her father, then you wouldn't have had to make her whole again because she wouldn't have fallen apart in the first place!" Penelope screeched.

Hotch knew that his technical analyst was quickly approaching the line of no return with their section chief, so he put his hand on her arm to reel her in. "What's done is done; right now we have to focus on helping Katie."

"God knows she's going to need it once everything sinks in," Garcia said as she stalked off to her office.

Back in the conference room, Dave led Katie to the sofa, sat down, and pulled her onto his lap, all without breaking their embrace. They sat there in silence for a while and Dave wished she would say or do something since it wasn't like her to be so quiet after receiving such life changing and confusing news. At the very least, he'd expected her rail on him for making her believe he'd been dead for the past five months, but she simply sat there in silence as she clung to him.

Katie, for her part, couldn't make her brain function enough to say anything; her emotions were so jumbled that she didn't know how to deal with all of them…it was like they were shorting out her brain. On the one hand, she was so freaking happy he was alive that she wanted to instantly forgive him for deceiving her so horribly for the past five months. She wanted to stay on his lap feeling secure and happy and _safe_, because it was something she hadn't felt since before he had supposedly 'died.' On the other hand, she was angry. Really angry. She couldn't believe her parents had deceived her _again_! It was bad enough when they had lied to her about being adopted for thirteen years, but to make her think her father, the person she had been closest to in the world, had died and to make her go through all of the sadness and heartache she'd gone through...it was enough to make her wonder if she would ever be able to trust them again. Along with the feelings of both joy and fury, there was distrust and confusion clouding her mind. She didn't know how to handle everything she was feeling and, as a result, she remained in a kind of daze.

"I'm so sorry, Belle," Dave finally said, as he hugged her a little tighter. "I never wanted you to have to go through all of this."

Katie remained silent as she continued to try to come to grips with what she was feeling. It was still early in the morning and she was already exhausted, both emotionally and physically. As a result, she decided not to think about things for a while and instead enjoy the feeling of safety and security she had as she sat on her dad's lap. For the moment, just knowing he was alive and well gave her a feeling of peace that she hadn't felt in over five months.

A few minutes later, there was a gentle knock on the door. "Dave, you need to give your official statement for all of the paperwork and then you need to get things squared away with both Homeland Security and the CIA," Hotch said gently as he stepped into the room. He hated interrupting the much needed father/daughter moment, but the higher-ups were screaming for answers and the only man who could give them what they wanted was Dave. Sure, he and Erin would have to explain why they fabricated and maintained the cover of Dave's 'death', but it was Dave himself who would have to explain why the charade had been necessary. "We'll also have to start the mountains of paperwork to bring you back to life, and you're going to have to jump through some hoops to get your credentials back."

"Can't it wait?" He asked as he hugged his daughter tighter to him.

Hotch shook his head. "Sorry Dave; everyone wants answers and they want them now. I'm even hearing rumors about congressional hearings."

"Perfect, I haven't even been back two hours and I already have to deal with the never ending bureaucracy," he grumbled as he reluctantly released Katie from his arms. "How about I have an agent drive you home so you can get some sleep?" He suggested as they both stood up.

Katie fervently shook her head. "No! I don't want to leave!"

"Honey, you need to get some decent sleep," Dave told her. He knew she'd stayed in Erin's office all night and he was willing to bet she'd gotten less than two hours of solid shut-eye.

"But…but what if I go home and I wake up and find this was all a dream?" She whispered fearfully. "What if I wake up and you're still dead?"

"Oh Belle," he said sadly as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her in close to him. "I don't suppose my office is still available?" He asked his boss.

Hotch shook his head. "We had to empty it out after you 'died,' but you can use mine; that way Katie can sleep on the sofa while you do what needs to get done."

"Thanks Hotch," his friend said gratefully, not wanting to let his daughter out of his sight. Now all he needed was for Erin to join them in his boss's office so he could have everyone he loved close by.


	24. Chapter 24

_This Crazy Thing Called Life-Chapter 24_

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><p>Five hours later, Katie slowly came out of her slumber. As she fully awoke, an intense feeling of fear flooded over her. What if everything had been a dream? What if her father was still dead? She'd had dreams like those before, dreams where her father was alive and talking to her and it was crushing to wake up and realize he was still dead. What if—her train of thought was derailed by the deep voice she heard from across the small room.<p>

"What do I need to do to prove that I'm alive?" Her father asked loudly. "Do you want a goddamn DNA sample?" He was quiet for a moment and then bit out a terse, "Fine, I'll be there tomorrow morning," before slamming the phone down onto his boss's desk.

Katie, from her position on the couch, smiled slightly. She hadn't opened her eyes yet, but she didn't have to see him in order to know that her father was truly alive! It hadn't been a dream, he was actually here in the flesh! Now that she knew he was really alive, she could breathe a small sigh of relief, which he heard.

"How're you doing, Belle?" He asked gently as he got up from his boss's desk and knelt down next to the sofa.

"You're still here," she whispered in disbelief.

"I am honey, and I'm not going anywhere." Without thinking, he brushed her hair away from her eyes and was surprised when he saw them fill with tears. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said as she sat up and dabbed at her eyes with her sleeve. "I just...I missed your little gestures a lot when you were dea-when you were gone." Even though she was happy beyond belief to know that her father wasn't really dead, the feelings of confusion, betrayal, and anger were starting to set in and she wasn't really sure how she should feel. As she was struggling with her thoughts, Aaron walked into his office.

"Did you get everything taken care of?" He asked his friend.

Dave snorted and shook his head. "Yeah, right! Do you _know _how hard it's going to be to prove I'm alive? The bank needs-" His rant was cut off by the ringing of his cell phone. "God dammit! This thing won't stop ringing!" Dave got up and stepped into the hallway to take the call, leaving his daughter and best friend alone in the office.

"How are you feeling, Katie?" Hotch asked, concerned. "Did the sleep help?"

As soon as he opened his mouth to talk to her, Katie felt a white-hot anger fill her entire body. _He knew! _He had known the whole time that her dad was alive and he did nothing! Not only that, he'd watched her grieve, he knew about her struggles just to get out of bed in the weeks that had followed her father's supposed death and he had done NOTHING! He hadn't even had the team look for the bad guy who was threatening them. No, he'd let her father work the case alone, knowing it could've taken months or _years_ to find him. She wondered if the stoic man in front of her would've ever told her the truth about her dad, or if he would have let her just believe he had died.

"I'm fine," she responded back coolly, through clenched teeth. Her hands were clenched into fists and it was all she could do not to launch herself at this supposed 'friend of the family.' She wanted to pound him with her fists and scream at him for what he did, but she kept quiet.

"Do you want me to have someone send up a late lunch? I could-" Hotch's suggestion was cut off by the angry teenager.

"I don't want _anything_ from you," she hissed, her eyes narrowing into a glare. "You _knew_! You knew all along!"

"Katie," Hotch sighed as he sat down in one of the chairs across from the sofa. "I know you're angry, and rightfully so, but I had no choice in this. We had to fake your father's death in order to keep you, and everyone else, safe. You have to understand-"

"I don't want to talk to you," the teen interrupted. "I _never _want to talk to you again."

"You're angry, I get that, but-"

"Fuck off, Aaron. Fuck. Off." Katie said angrily. "You have no _idea_ how I feel, so just leave me alone."

Hotch sat in open-mouthed shock and was about to respond to her, but at that moment Dave snapped his cell phone shut out in the hallway and came back into the office.

"I've got to meet with director; are you okay to stay with Aaron for an hour or so, Belle?" He asked.

Katie stood up. "Actually, I think I'll go visit Penelope in her lair."

"Okay honey, call me if you need anything." The teen nodded curtly and then left the room. "So what happened while I was out in the hall?"

Hotch just shook his head slightly. "Your daughter isn't exactly thrilled with me right now."

"What'd she say?"

For a split second, the unit chief considered telling Dave exactly what Katie had said to him but he quickly discarded that idea. "Don't worry about it Dave, it's something Katie and I will have to work out for ourselves."

While Dave and Hotch were talking in his office, Katie made her way down to Garcia's office and knocked on the door. "Enter mortal, if you dare!" The technical analyst called out.

Katie opened the door, but remained in the doorway until the quirky woman turned around and faced her. "Katie!" She squealed as she rose from her chair, fully intending to give the teen a hug, but she put her hand out and stopped her.

"Did you know?" If Penelope had known all along that her father was alive and hadn't told her…well, that would be the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. Since she'd lost both of her parents when she was young, Penelope had helped her through a lot of her feelings about her dad's 'death,' and if it turned out she had been lying to her, then she wasn't sure what she would do. Thankfully, the older woman shook her brightly colored head forcefully.

"I didn't know, I swear!" She said emphatically. "I learned about it just before the raid on Lazlov's apartment, so I guess technically I kept it from you for about six hours or so, but that's it, I promise!"

"Okay," Katie said, her voice cracking. She put her hand down and Garcia engulfed her in a tight bear hug.

"How are you doing with everything, Sweets?" She asked as she finally released the younger girl and led her into her lair.

"God Pen, I don't know! My dad's alive and I'm happy about that, but I'm so confused! They lied to me! My mom, my dad, and Aaron! They all lied to me for over _five_ months! Mom and Aaron saw what I went through; they knew how much I missed him and they continued to lie to me! I'm so pissed at them…and at dad too; he and mom lied to me _again_!"

"I know they did honey, but they had a good reason for it."

Katie shook her head violently, "No, that's not good enough. After the whole adoption thing, they promised me they would never lie to me again, at least about anything big. I would say dad being alive was pretty big, wouldn't you?"

"I would, but there were other factors involved," Garcia said, hating that she was actually defending the lies that had been told. "They were trying to keep all of us safe."

"So? That justifies everything that they did?" Katie asked loudly.

"No, of course not, but you're going to eventually have to deal with this and you'll need to keep that in mind when you do," Penelope told her.

"Yeah, but I don't have to deal with it right now, do I?" Katie asked. "Because right now my brain feels like it's going to explode with everything I'm feeling. I'm so thankful my dad is alive, and I love him but I'm so mad and confused!"

Pen hugged her again. "I think you need to do what feels right for you, whether that's crying, or yelling, or screaming. You're entitled to your feelings."

"Thanks Pen…thanks for understanding. If they'll let me, I think I'm just going to think about things for the next day or so. I know they're going to want to talk about everything, but I just can't handle it right now." Katie took a deep breath and then changed the subject. "So do you have any decent computer games around here?

xxxxxxxxxx

Two hours later, Erin heard a knock on her open door. She looked up and saw Dave standing in the doorway. "How did your meeting with the director go?" She asked as he came into her office.

He plopped down onto the sofa and she got up and joined him. "Don't ask." Seeing her raised eyebrow, he elaborated. "The upshot is, if we get through the congressional hearings intact, he'll reinstate me but he is _not_ happy with any of us right now."

"Well, we expected that," Erin said as she leaned against his chest; she'd forgotten how safe and secure she felt with him.

"I suppose," he said. "Well, anyway, I'm gonna reserve a suite at the Hilton for Katie and I; I still have the credit I used when I was in hiding and-"

"For God's sake, David!" Erin said, clearly annoyed. "You and Katie aren't going to stay at a hotel, you're going to stay at my house; that way Katie will have her room and we'll all be more comfortable."

"You're sure about this?" He asked, relieved that he would be with both of his girls that night.

"I am," she said as she stood up. "Let's go collect our daughter and head home; I think we're both done for the day."

They both headed for Garcia's lair and were surprised to find the technical goddess alone in her office.

"Any idea where our daughter is, Garcia?" Dave asked from the doorway.

"Agent Rossi, Chief Strauss," Penelope greeted them. "She went to get some chips from the vending machine; she should be back soon."

"How is she doing, Penelope?" Erin asked, concerned about her daughter's mental and emotional well-being.

"She's confused and angry, ma'am," Garcia responded. "She has a bunch of different thoughts and feelings running through her mind right now and they're overwhelming her. You're going to have to tread lightly with her for awhile."

"We will," Erin promised as Katie approached them. "There you are; ready to go home?"

Katie just nodded silently and followed her parents to the elevator.

xxxxxxxxxx

The ride home was largely silent. Every couple of minutes, Dave would remark about some changes that had been made while he had been gone. He never said 'dead', no one used the 'd' word unless absolutely necessary, but other than that, the occupants of the car didn't say much. Both Erin and Dave were worried about Katie's silence, though. They had both expected more of a reaction from her but, other than the time she'd spent in her dad's arms in the conference room, she hadn't displayed much of any emotion; instead, she just stared out the window in silence.

Erin, having witnessed her daughter's reaction to her father's supposed death, was worried. She remembered how Katie had retreated into herself and hadn't come out until finally forced to. Her fears escalated when they entered the house and Katie immediately headed for the stairs to the second floor. Before her foot hit the third step, Erin spoke up.

"I thought we agreed that you would only use your room for sleeping," she said lightly, trying to make staying on the first floor sound like a suggestion. Even though it had been over five months since Katie had tried to hibernate her life away in her room, Erin tried to keep her out of it during the day, especially when she knew the teen was upset.

Katie stopped dead on the steps as she was hit with the same white-hot anger that she'd felt with Aaron. Without thinking, she looked back over her shoulder and snarled, "Yeah, well I thought we also agreed that you'd stop lying to me, so I guess we're both screwed!" And with that, she continued up the stairs and into her room, where she slammed the door with a loud bang.

Both Dave and Erin stood at the bottom of the stairs in shock; normally they wouldn't let Katie get away with talking to either one of them like that, but they both understood that she was trying to cope with a lot at the moment, so they didn't pursue it. Instead, they headed for the master bedroom, intending to make up for lost time but, unfortunately, sleep got the better of them and they were both out for the count within five minutes of laying down on the king-sized bed.


	25. Chapter 25

_Chapter 25_

**~Wow, it's been awhile. I'm finally feeling some mojo for writing again, and I have ideas for this story so, as long as my brain keeps connecting with my fingers, updates should be more regular (that and the fact that I am finally getting a new computer). Thanks to those who have stuck with this story! **

* * *

><p>Two days later, Katie was lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling, when she heard the front door open. The silence was shattered by her father's deep voice and the chattering of her three sisters. With a loud sigh, Katie slammed a pillow over her head in hopes of regaining the silence that had once reigned throughout the house and it worked for a few minutes, until her sisters converged upon her.<p>

"Katieeeeeeeee!" Allie shrieked as she ran through the open bedroom door, jumped through the air, and landed on top of her. Katie gave a loud "Oooof!" as the wind was knocked out of her and she struggled to return her sister's ferocious hug while, at the same time, struggling to breathe.

"Allieeeee," Clara complained. "You're going to kill Katie before anyone else has a chance to hug her!" Allie thought about her sister's statement for a moment, shrugged and, if anything, held on to her sister even tighter. The patient Clara simply rolled her eyes, moved further into the room, and embraced a part of her older sister that had eluded her younger sister's grasp.

"I missed you, Katie," Clara said into her shoulder.

"I missed you guys too," Katie said as she looked over their heads at Ellen.

"Hey Brat," Ellen said affectionately from the doorway.

"Hey," Katie responded back with a small smile.

"How's it going?" Katie just stared at her older sister and shook her head slightly; she was not going to get into it with their younger sisters in the room. Besides, if truth be told, she didn't have a coherent answer to the question.

"Did you hear?" Allie asked as both she and Clara pulled out of the massive hug. "Dave's back!"

Katie mustered up some enthusiasm and brightness. "I know!"

"I'm so glad he's back," the little girl continued. "I want to show him my new Barbie and I want him to fix my playhouse, and I want to have a tea party with him and, oh! He's making his yummy 'pasketi and meatballs for dinner tonight!"

"Hey Al?" Ellen asked. "Why don't you go find Dave and ask him to help you with your playhouse now? We are going back to camp tomorrow, so there's not much time."

"'Kay, El," the little girl replied as she hopped down from the bed and ran out the door. Ellen moved from her position in the doorway and sat down in Katie's desk chair. She stared at Clara, who was still sitting on the bed, until the younger girl squirmed and finally asked, "What?"

"Beat it," her eldest sister said, as she nodded her head towards the door.

"Why?"

"Older sister talk."

"But I'm an older sister too!" Clara whined as Ellen rolled her eyes.

"Once you hit thirteen, you'll be included in the older sister talks but, until then, hit the road."

"You can hang out in my room with me after supper, okay?" Katie told her as she got up from her bed.

"Fine," she said to Katie and then turned to Ellen. "You don't have to be such a bitch about it."

"Clara!" Katie said, shocked that both at the language the younger girl had used, and the fact that she had snapped at their sister.

"Whatever, Squirt," Ellen said with a roll of her eyes. "You'd better not let mom hear you talk like that."

"Or my dad," Katie added. "He's not too fond of that word," she said as the taste of ivory soap flooded her memory.

"Whatever," was the girl's only response as she left the room and shut the door behind her.

"What was that?" Katie asked her older sister in surprise. "Clara's supposed to be the meek, polite one."

"Yeah, well, camp has given her a whole new attitude."

"And a new vocabulary. Mom's going to love it."

Ellen shrugged her shoulders. "Meh, it probably won't last. I remember when I was her age at camp. I thought my new attitude was so cool, but I usually didn't bring it home with me." Ellen paused for a moment and then continued. "Speaking of mom and Dave, how are you doing with everything?"

Katie just shook her head and stared at the floor. "I don't know how I'm doing," she said and it was the truth. She was so happy when she first learned her dad was alive, but now...now the realization had sunk in that her parents had lied to her AGAIN! Not only that, but they had made her live through his death! The knowledge that her mom could have alleviated all of her misery and anguish over her father's death with just a few words sent white hot anger through her, and the knowledge that she did it all with her father's blessing...no, at her father's URGING, caused waves of different emotions to crash within her. While she was eternally grateful that her father was, in fact, among the living, her emotions swung from happy, to angry, to sad, to confused, to frustrated, to betrayed…sometimes all within the same minute. Katie could feel her older sister's eyes still on her, so she elaborated.

"I'm so pissed off, El! They lied to me, to _us, _AGAIN! They made me go through one of the hardest times of my life for nothing! There were times I honestly never thought I would get over my dad dying!"

"I know," Ellen said quietly, remembering how distraught her sister had been and how long it had taken her to mourn Dave.

"I don't know...I feel like a monster, you know, being mad that dad's alive. I feel like I should be all sunshine and lollipops because he's not dead."

Ellen shook her head. "You should feel however you want to feel. I don't blame you for not knowing how to feel; the situation is great because Dave is alive, but it's awful because of what they did. If it's any consolation, I'm not really happy with mom and Dave either. I think what they did to all of us sucks. Sure, I can understand some of why they did it, but I can't believe that what they did was the best option." Katie smiled, glad that someone was on her side and kind of understood what she was going through. "So have they talked about what comes next?"

Katie shook her head. "Nope, they've actually been giving me space. I couldn't believe they let me stay here alone while Dave went to pick you guys up and mom went to work. Plus, after I kinda snapped at mom the other day, she's been letting me stay in my bedroom during 'non-sleeping hours.' I just have to keep the door open, and I can't actually be under the covers of my bed."

"That's progress."

"That's what I thought," Katie said with a nod. "So I've just kinda been spending most of my time here. Mom and dad usually pop into my room to see how I'm doing when they are up her, but I just ignore them. Dad showed up yesterday to pick me up from work, but we didn't talk, and they make me eat meals with them, but they are quiet. I'm just afraid if I start talking, I'm going to say stuff that I can't take back."

"So have you thought about where you're going to live?" As much as Ellen had disliked her sister when they first met, they had grown close and she really did not want to lose her again. Sure, she would probably stay with them whenever Dave had to go out of town but, after living with her full-time for five months, Ellen didn't want her to move out.

"I don't know what's going to happen with that. I know dad wants to go back to the townhouse, but since he's technically dead, he doesn't have access to any of his money and all of our stuff is in storage." Katie paused for a moment. "They've both been sleeping in mom's room."

"What?! You saw them?"

Katie nodded. "They're not even trying to hide it like before. You remember how my dad would sneak up after all of us went to bed and then he'd sneak back down to the couch in the morning?" Ellen nodded. "Well, they're not doing that now. They usually come to my bedroom to say goodnight, close my bedroom door, and then they both go to mom's room."

"That's...I don't even know what to say to that," the older girl said with a slight gag.

"Right?" Katie said with a shudder. "Anyway, can we not talk about me anymore? I just want to get my mind off of everything for a little while."

"Sure," Ellen told her. "We go back to camp tomorrow afternoon, so we don't have much time anyway. I'm actually surprised they pulled us out at all, but I guess mom and Dave wanted us to see for ourselves that Dave is actually alive and..." Ellen trailed off, knowing her sister wouldn't like what was coming next.

"And what?" Katie asked suspiciously.

"And they want to talk to all of us after supper tonight."

Katie rolled her eyes and sighed. "Great, exactly what I don't want to do."

"I hear you."

"Anyway," Katie continued, shaking her head slightly, as if to clear it. "I hear you have a camp boyfriend?"

Ellen got a dreamy look in her eyes and nodded. "His name is James and God is he gorgeous! He lives in upstate New York and he plays Varsity football, so he's really strong, and he plays guitar and sings for kids at the Children's hospital in his hometown."

"He sounds perfect," Katie told her. "So how does he kiss?" She was intensely jealous of her older sister; her dad had made it abundantly clear, on numerous occasions, that he wouldn't even consider group dating for her until she was sixteen.

"Katie!" Ellen shrieked, as if offended that she would ask such a question. Then a devilish smile overtook her face and she responded, "He kisses like a dream."

At that moment there was the clearing of a throat from the doorway. "Mom!" Ellen exclaimed, turning red. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Enough to hear about your dreamboat at camp," Erin teased with a smile. "I'm going to the market to pick up some things for dinner tonight; do either of you want to come?"

Ellen nodded and got off of the bed. "Sure. Can we stop at Target too? I want to pick up a few things to bring back to camp tomorrow."

"That's fine," Erin told her. "Do you want to come along, Katie?"

"No thank you," the teen said coolly; Ellen there or not, there was no way she was going to spend time cooped up in a car with her mother.

xxxxxxxxxx

The next evening, Erin and Dave were driving home after dropping Allie, Clara, and Ellen back off at camp, and their conversation was anything but light.

"Are you ready for the next couple of days?" Erin asked as they drove down the highway. They had numerous meetings with the higher-ups at the Bureau and the CIA, and they were facing Congressional hearings. Not to mention all of the paperwork he had to produce and submit everywhere just to prove he was alive.

"I'm ready for whatever they throw at me. The only sticking point is if the committee wants Katie to testify; that is my line in the sand."

"I'm worried about her, Dave. I know it's only been a few days, but I don't think she's coping very well. She's quiet, withdrawn and she spends all of her time alone. I wish she would talk to us, if only so we could discuss the future with her." Erin paused for a moment, knowing what she was about to say could start an argument, but it had to be talked about. "We need to discuss our custody arrangement, David."

Dave's hands tightened around the steering wheel, and his lips thinned. "I told you when we first started this that I would never give her up, and I meant it."

Erin felt herself reacting in anger and she tried to keep it at bay, knowing it wouldn't help the situation. "I know you did David, but-"

"But things have changed," Dave interrupted, this time without anger in his voice. "I get it, Erin; you've had her full-time for almost six months."

"I have," Erin said with a sigh of relief; while no arrangement would be perfect, it seemed as though she wouldn't have to fight him for more time with their daughter. "And I can't go back to the odd weekend day and when you go out of town. I won't do that to myself, I won't do that to Clara, Ellen, and Allie and, most importantly, I won't do that to Katie. Once she's past her anger at us, she's going to need normalcy and stability in her life."

"I know, and that's why I'm thinking that Katie and I might not go back to the townhouse."

"Oh?"

Dave nodded. "There are some houses for sale in your neighborhood and I was thinking of looking at some of those. Besides, I'm not even sure Katie will want to return to the townhouse; it might be too weird for her. Once I'm officially declared alive again, I'll see if I can't find us a temporary place, like a hotel or something. I don't want to crowd you, or for you to get tired of me.

"Does it seem like I'm getting tired of you?" Strauss asked. "If so, then I'm not doing things right, at least not in the bedroom."

"Erin-" Dave started.

"I didn't see you for nearly six months, David, so no, I am not tired of you and you are not crowding my space. In fact, I'm going to miss you when you leave, even if you are just down the road from me."

There were a few minutes of contemplative silence in the SUV, before Erin broke it.

"You know we're eventually going to have to force her to talk to us, right?" She asked. "As angry and confused as she is with this situation, we are going to have to discuss things with Katie at some point, if only to let her vent her feelings toward us and for the healing process to begin."

"I know, but I am content to give her as much time as she needs at this point," Dave told her. "I want her to know that we're here for her, in whatever capacity she needs us. I know she's been having nightmares since I returned; when I woke up to go to the bathroom this morning, I found her sleeping on the floor of our bedroom."

Erin nodded. "While you were gone, I noticed that whenever she is stressed, she has nightmares about the kidnapping. Usually she climbs into bed with me, but I guess she doesn't feel comfortable doing that right now. How did she get back to her bedroom?"

"I carried her," Dave replied. "I feel like I should be doing more for her, but I don't want to push her. I don't know, maybe she would have been better off if I hadn't returned. I'm a shitty father, Erin, and I have been for most of her life.

"What are you talking about, Dave? You're a great father."

"No, I'm really not," Dave told her as he thought back on all of the times he had messed things up with their daughter.


	26. Chapter 26

_Chapter 26_

"No, I'm really not all that great of a father," Dave argued, as he thought back to all of the times he'd screwed up fatherhood. "There are days I've honestly wondered why she even wants me around anymore, especially now that she has you and the girls in her life."

Not knowing where this self-pity of his was coming from, Erin just stayed quiet, knowing that if he wanted to talk he would. There were a few minutes of silence in the car before Dave spoke again.

"I missed her first birthday, did you know that?" He asked rhetorically as he stared at the highway in front of them. "I was investigating a serial arsonist in the backwoods of Minnesota while my little girl was celebrating her first birthday. Sure, Janet took pictures, and she assured me Katie wouldn't remember, but I remember...I remember how that was the first time my little girl took a backseat to my job."

"We've all done that, David," Erin told him as she began to feel guilty herself. "It's the nature of our job."

"I missed her second, fourth, and fifth birthdays too," he told her as if she hadn't spoken. "Do you know why we started that damn, 'eat at IHOP on her birthday' tradition? It's because Janet was tired of making excuses as to why I was never there on her special day. We spent birthdays number seven and eight talking on the phone from our separate restaurants."

"Wait," Strauss asked. "Weren't you retired from the Bureau by her eighth birthday?"

Dave nodded. "I was in West Virginia doing a private consultation. If we had still lived in DC, I could have probably made it back in time, but we had moved to California by then. After that, I was there for most of the important things, but that's because Janet kept me on task with them. And then she died."

He sounded so sad that Erin's heart began to break for him. "David, that wasn't your fault. I know you think it was, since Dmitri went after her in retaliation for your profile, but it wasn't."

He gave her small smile. "That's nice of you to say, Erin, but I know differently." He paused for a moment before speaking again. "Did I ever tell you about our lives after Janet died? It's a doozy of a story."

_...Five years previous..._

"Moooooom," a ten year-old Katie whined. "Why can't I go with you?"

Janet Rossi sighed. "I'm just running to the supermarket for a few things," she said as she put on a light jacket. It was late March and, while most parts of the country were just beginning to feel the effects of spring, it was warm on the California coast. The only reason she was taking a jacket at all was because it was raining out.

"But I need glitter for my poster!" Katie was entering her elementary school's science fair and she was trying to make her poster about possums less dull.

"And I'll pick some up while I'm out," she assured her daughter as she shot her husband a pleading look. She just wanted to get the groceries she needed and get back home, but she knew if her daughter tagged along, it would be a constant struggle to keep junk food out of the cart.

"Why don't you stay here and help me make dinner, Katie?" Dave suggested,winking at his wife. "That way, once your mom gets home, the food will be ready and we'll be able to sit down and eat."

While her dad may have made it sound like a suggestion, Katie knew it wasn't, so she thumped down onto a chair at the kitchen table. "Fine," she said dejectedly. "I never get to go anywhere."

"We'll go to the mall this weekend, okay?" Her mom said, and then kissed her on the top of her head.

"'Kay," her daughter replied, a little brighter than before.

"Take it easy on the roads," Dave told his wife as he tossed her the car keys. "They get slick in the rain."

"I will, and _you_ take it easy on the oregano; you added too much to the sauce last time and it tasted a little funny," Janet replied, wrinkling her nose in distaste.

Dave kissed her lightly on the lips as she moved to pass him. "Love you."

"Love you more," Janet responded, and then left through the garage door. A moment later both he and Katie heard the car start and then leave the garage.

"So what do you say, honey? Wanna make sure I don't overdo it on the oregano?"

xxxxxxxxxx

An hour later, Dave was starting to worry; his wife had only had five things on her list and if there was one thing she was a stickler about, it was sticking to her list. Not only could Katie never sneak anything into the cart, he couldn't either and he was a grown man!

"Dad, I'm hunnnngggrrrryyyy," Katie whined as she sat next to him on the sofa.

"I know you are honey, I am too," Dave agreed as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. "But mom should be home soon, so let's just watch CSI until she gets back, okay?" He kissed the top of her head and turned on the DVR. Janet hated that he let their daughter watch the many violent and sometimes disturbing procedurals, but he was an addict and Katie had grown up watching them and loved them, so his wife hadn't forbidden it, but he tried to do it only when she wasn't there.

They watched the TV show for another twenty minutes, and then the doorbell rang. "Who could that be in this weather?" Dave wondered aloud as he got up to answer the door. What he saw when he opened it made his face pale and his blood run cold. Standing on the stoop was a State Trooper and he looked grim.

"Can I help you with something, Officer?" He asked in a deceptively calm voice, while praying fervently on the inside that he was there asking for his help on a case.

"Sir, are you David Rossi?" The Trooper asked.

"I am."

"And do you know a Janet Rossi?"

Dave gave a slight nod as his pulse rate increased exponentially. "She's my wife."

With a sad sigh, the officer removed his hat. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this sir, but your wife was involved in a car accident on Route 1. She died at the scene." With that, Dave's world tilted and he felt himself go dizzy; he had delivered dozens of death notifications to families, but he never imagined he would be on this side of it. He gripped the doorway tightly for support.

"There's got to be a mistake," he said. "My wife was just running to the market for a few things. There's no way..." Dave's voice trailed off as the officer held up his wife's wallet and driver's license.

"This was found in the deceased's vehicle; a silver Audi sedan," the officer told him as he consulted his notes.

"Oh my God," he said as he began to accept the idea that the officer might be correct, that his beloved wife might have actually died. As that realization hit him, the darkness that was creeping in from the sides of his vision began to take over and he could feel himself begin to shut down.

"Daddy?" A frightened voice behind him said. His thoughts cleared enough to realize that he would have to tell his ten year old daughter that her mother had died. How was he supposed to do that? This was going to shatter her world, her sense of security, her childhood feelings of immortality. It was-

"Daddy, what's wrong?" Katie's increasingly frightened voice pierced his thoughts and made him act. He turned around to face her and saw that she was on the brink of tears and looked terrified. "Where's mom?"

"Sweetheart," he began as he knelt down so he was on her level. "Mom was in a car accident tonight," he said, his voice breaking.

The girl's eyes widened. "Is she okay?"

"No baby, she's not okay," Dave replied as he took her hands and felt the first tears spill out of his eyes. "She died."

"What? No!" Katie exclaimed as she pushed him away from her. "You're wrong! Mommy's alive! She's just late...late because it's raining! That's why she didn't want me to go, remember? She didn't want me to get wet because it's raining! And the rain slows people down! She'll be home soon, you'll see! SHE'S NOT DEAD!" The little girl was practically hysterical by end of her tirade and she was crying hard.

Dave, not sure of what to do, did the only thing he _could_ do, he reached out and engulfed her in a hug. At first she resisted, he felt her small fists pounding against his chest but finally she ran out of energy and stopped. He stood up with her still in his arms and carried her into the living room where he sat with her in his arms while she choked her mantra of "mommy's not dead" through her sobs. They sat there for hours until she finally cried herself to sleep, while he stared into the darkness.

_...Current Time..._

"She later told me that that night, and the following days, were the worst of her life. Even after I told her about her adoption and things were rocky with you, she still counts that as the worst time in her life. Fuck, Erin!" He said, slamming the steering wheel with the palm of his hand, "Remember, she told us in family counseling that even the day you both were kidnapped wasn't the worst day of her life, it was still when Janet died! And I made her relive that nightmare! I made her relive the darkness and grief and I'm sure if you asked her, you know, if she was actually talking to us, she would rank the day that I 'died' as one of her worst days too!"

"We did what we had to do!" Erin shot back, her guilt weighing heavily on her mind as well. "Was it perfect? No. Did it keep our family, and the BAU safe? It sure did! Would I do it again? Yes, if I had to in order to keep everyone alive."

"We shouldn't have _had_ to do it the way we did," he shot back. "Garcia was right; you, me, and Hotch are some of the best minds in the Bureau; we should have been able to come up with a better plan than we did. Hell, I should have brought Reid into the fold when Dmitri first contacted me and had him devise a plan."

"And that might have gotten us all killed," Erin returned testily. "You know Dmitri was watching you, he was watching all of us! If you had sought Dr. Reid's advice, who knows what would have happened!"

"I don't know," Dave said shaking his head in resignation. "I should have done better than what I did."

Erin gave a small sigh. "David, we will help Katie through this, just like you did when Janet died."

"Well, there's the thing, Erin. I didn't help Katie much after Janet died, in fact, I made her life infinitely worse during the following year."


End file.
